Diaper Swappers

jbaxter · 09-30-2011, 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ktmelody

That does NOT sound normal. Someone had to introduce an 8 year old to that type of behavior, or he must have overseen it. I would not allow my son to ever play with a child again that did that in my home.

I would explain to my son, (as I have with my older daughters) that pronography is for adults and married couples to enjoy together for intimacy. (this would only be if he was exposed or questioned me about it)

My son is 7 and I would be livid if that happened in my home and a phone call would be made to the parents of the other child asap.

Hth some.

EXACTLY. I have 4 boys 19,16,7 &2 and I can say its FAR from normal for 8 yr old looking at. I would be furious. I have spent my mothering life making sure my sons respect woman.

My youngest bf'd for 2 yrs so my boys saw plenty. My 7 yr old did make statement once when we say a woman with incredibly large breasts .. MOM look at her boobies I bet her baby gets LOTS of milk (I was having supply issues at the time).

Inspired Creations · 09-30-2011, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jbaxter

EXACTLY. I have 4 boys 19,16,7 &2 and I can say its FAR from normal for 8 yr old looking at. I would be furious. I have spent my mothering life making sure my sons respect woman.

My youngest bf'd for 2 yrs so my boys saw plenty. My 7 yr old did make statement once when we say a woman with incredibly large breasts .. MOM look at her boobies I bet her baby gets LOTS of milk (I was having supply issues at the time).

I love that they see breasts as milk machines!

I have this sense that the friend is curious and this is the only avenue he has seen for that curiosity (no natl. geographics or encyclopedias at his house...). And he MUSt have seen the websites from his brother...he knew what to type in. I'm thinking it's still curiousity. I'm not sure my son really even knows what they are looking at (or trying to look at I should say). Anyway... If anyone knows of a way to encourage a clammed up 6 yo to talk more openly, I'm all ears! We have always been open about using proper language for body parts, he hasn't asked about sex yet so we haven't talked about that and I don't want to talk about it now if he's not ready/interested to hear about it. I know we need to be respectful, calm, gentle with him and how we approach it. I don't have a problem with the natural curiosity to see human bodies. The probelm is the viewing of p*rn sites as they are not at all respectful imo.
Thanks for the insights!

jbaxter · 09-30-2011, 12:06 PM

Im very open with my boys. I would have a talk with him about the web sites and say that breasts are a body part just like ears or your butt. Some some people like to make a big deal and giggle about seeing body parts that are usually covered up. I want you to understand its not nice to giggle and look at body parts. We all have them and God ( we are religious) gave women breasts to feed babies they are a working body part. Yes they are pretty to look at but are eyes and hair . I have always answered every question my boys have asked me including ones on nocturnal emissions ( OH THAT was a joyful conversation). I have tried to make my answers as medical as possible.

Sleep deprived · 09-30-2011, 12:12 PM

I'd be interested to see what the two or three dads around here think. I'm pretty sure curiousity starts before a kid is willing to fess up to it. I remember an old boyfriend talking about being interested in girls at age 8. Some kids are just wired to be interested earlier - it's not all "OMG pop culture made my kid a pervert".

That said, if he knew what to type to look for things on the web, he's definitely been watching the older brother. Apart from the exploitative nature of "pron", I'd be worried what a kid might think about sex if that was their source of information. What one sees in such films bears very little resemblance to what one sees in most bedrooms.

Have you seen this?

ktmelody · 09-30-2011, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sleep deprived

I'd be interested to see what the two or three dads around here think. I'm pretty sure curiousity starts before a kid is willing to fess up to it. I remember an old boyfriend talking about being interested in girls at age 8. Some kids are just wired to be interested earlier - it's not all "OMG pop culture made my kid a pervert".

That said, if he knew what to type to look for things on the web, he's definitely been watching the older brother. Apart from the exploitative nature of "pron", I'd be worried what a kid might think about sex if that was their source of information. What one sees in such films bears very little resemblance to what one sees in most bedrooms.

Have you seen this?

Thats where I think it is gross. No 18 year old should be looking at ****ography with a 8 year old in the room, something needs to be done about that. If he knew key words, ne surely was a little closer than just an oversight...that skeeves me out. I do think it is normal for 18 year olds to want to look at that, i think it is normal for most people that are adults or near adults to look at it.

My Dh has always said his first encounter was with a playboy mag at 11, I think that is more the normal age for kids to be interested in that sort of thing naturally. There is also a huge difference in looking up naked tribal people in an encyclopedia than googling ****ography. Natural interest is one thing, but imo 8 is was to young for "real" ****.

Rhianna'sMommy · 09-30-2011, 12:27 PM

I've talked to dh about when he knew he was attracted to girls in the past. He has said that he remembers being as young as Kindergaten and knowing that seeing breasts made his pen*s do things. He didn't understand it but knew it was a pleasant sensation.

He didn't search out p*rn or anything like that though but underwear models in ads were enough to get his imagination going when he was young.

Edit to add - when I say he'd see breasts I mean he'd see someone in a skimpy bikini top or someone in a bra in a picture - he would not have been exposed to naked breasts at that age. And he doesn't remember seeing his Mom naked or anything like that.

Sleep deprived · 09-30-2011, 12:27 PM

I doubt that the 18 year old was doing so with younger sib in the room. I'd lay money that he did it alone, and then completely failed to clear the history of his search toolbar.

If you're using the Google toolbar, all you have to do is start typing and it auto-fills what you might be looking for. So, younger sib pops on the computer, looking for hours at the local pool. Types in "p", "o", then google autofills with a word he hasn't come across before. Curiousity gets the better of him, he clicks and gets an eyefull.

Still not ok, of course, but much less worrisome than teen-gradeschooler togetherness "pron" sessions.

mamatoalys · 09-30-2011, 12:31 PM

I think it entirely depends on the parents. I can't argue that its not normal because alot of parents don't care - my 11 year old BIL was trying to get my DD to take her pants off when he was 8 or so (She didn't) but MIL and FIL don't censor what he watches AT ALL - I had to give them a blast because at when he was 8 DD was 4-5 and they were allowed to watch Mr and Mrs Smith, complete with shooting eachother sex scene. I was furious, and they didn't see a problem.

isabelsmummy · 09-30-2011, 05:38 PM

If the other boy has an older brother then he will hear bits of various things earlier and he was probably trying to figure out what he had heard. I really see nothing terrible about what went on. They are curious. They didn't know that what they were looking at was totally in their household. They had probably figured out it wasn't really regular conversation but were trying to figure out what they were missing out on!! They don't even know what they saw.

8 - (so grade 3?) sounds like about the age at which my little brother and his friends discovered some of their dad's had playboy magazines hidden in their work trucks!

Mention it to the other family and put the computer in a public area. Try having your DH say a couple of things to your son. I'm sure he doesn't want to talk about it but that doesn't mean he's not listening when you talk. kwim?

Hillargh · 09-30-2011, 06:29 PM

My mom always explained it to my brother as women are not objects to be leered at. They are to be respected, as people. Would you want someone you didn't know staring at you naked? Of course not. I always liked that

Sent from my myTouch 3G Slide using DS Forum

09-30-2011, 12:06 PM	#13
jbaxter Registered Users Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Hagerstown, MD Posts: 908 Ratings: 20 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: at what age do most boys start to be curious about naked girls? Im very open with my boys. I would have a talk with him about the web sites and say that breasts are a body part just like ears or your butt. Some some people like to make a big deal and giggle about seeing body parts that are usually covered up. I want you to understand its not nice to giggle and look at body parts. We all have them and God ( we are religious) gave women breasts to feed babies they are a working body part. Yes they are pretty to look at but are eyes and hair . I have always answered every question my boys have asked me including ones on nocturnal emissions ( OH THAT was a joyful conversation). I have tried to make my answers as medical as possible. __________________ Momma to 4 boys Logan 19, Connor 16, Nathan 7 and Jackson 2.....

09-30-2011, 12:12 PM	#14
Sleep deprived Registered Users Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,154 Ratings: 14 Feedback: 100%	Re: at what age do most boys start to be curious about naked girls? I'd be interested to see what the two or three dads around here think. I'm pretty sure curiousity starts before a kid is willing to fess up to it. I remember an old boyfriend talking about being interested in girls at age 8. Some kids are just wired to be interested earlier - it's not all "OMG pop culture made my kid a pervert". That said, if he knew what to type to look for things on the web, he's definitely been watching the older brother. Apart from the exploitative nature of "pron", I'd be worried what a kid might think about sex if that was their source of information. What one sees in such films bears very little resemblance to what one sees in most bedrooms. Have you seen this?

09-30-2011, 12:27 PM	#16
Rhianna'sMommy Registered Users Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5,298 Ratings: 99 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: at what age do most boys start to be curious about naked girls? I've talked to dh about when he knew he was attracted to girls in the past. He has said that he remembers being as young as Kindergaten and knowing that seeing breasts made his pens do things. He didn't understand it but knew it was a pleasant sensation. He didn't search out prn or anything like that though but underwear models in ads were enough to get his imagination going when he was young. Edit to add - when I say he'd see breasts I mean he'd see someone in a skimpy bikini top or someone in a bra in a picture - he would not have been exposed to naked breasts at that age. And he doesn't remember seeing his Mom naked or anything like that. Last edited by Rhianna'sMommy; 09-30-2011 at 12:31 PM.

09-30-2011, 12:27 PM	#17
Sleep deprived Registered Users Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,154 Ratings: 14 Feedback: 100%	Re: at what age do most boys start to be curious about naked girls? I doubt that the 18 year old was doing so with younger sib in the room. I'd lay money that he did it alone, and then completely failed to clear the history of his search toolbar. If you're using the Google toolbar, all you have to do is start typing and it auto-fills what you might be looking for. So, younger sib pops on the computer, looking for hours at the local pool. Types in "p", "o", then google autofills with a word he hasn't come across before. Curiousity gets the better of him, he clicks and gets an eyefull. Still not ok, of course, but much less worrisome than teen-gradeschooler togetherness "pron" sessions.

09-30-2011, 12:31 PM	#18
mamatoalys Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Sudbury, Ontario, Canada Posts: 509 Ratings: 29 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: at what age do most boys start to be curious about naked girls? I think it entirely depends on the parents. I can't argue that its not normal because alot of parents don't care - my 11 year old BIL was trying to get my DD to take her pants off when he was 8 or so (She didn't) but MIL and FIL don't censor what he watches AT ALL - I had to give them a blast because at when he was 8 DD was 4-5 and they were allowed to watch Mr and Mrs Smith, complete with shooting eachother sex scene. I was furious, and they didn't see a problem. __________________ Student Midwife and crunchy mama DD's to Autumn & Alys Expecting surprise #3 in Sept 2013!