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Old 09-30-2011, 07:15 PM   #11
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Re: How do you single moms do it?

To the OP and all you other lucky ladies with husbands; it IS hard to be a single mom. I would give anything to have my DH back even if he was gone at night or for weeks at a time. So OP, thank you for acknowledging those of us without a helper.

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Old 09-30-2011, 07:15 PM   #12
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Re: How do you single moms do it?

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Originally Posted by isabelsmummy View Post
I love it when DH goes away! It's the best of both worlds - a 2 income household without a husband making a mess!

I agree with the PP - if he's away then I tend to just get on with it rather than waiting to see if anyone is going to help me.
This is me! My dh isn't gone much at all, but I find sometimes that we get along a little smoother at home without him. not that we're not glad when he's home.
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Old 09-30-2011, 07:16 PM   #13
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Re: How do you single moms do it?

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For me, it was actually easier to be a single mom than to take care of kids, a job, a house, and a man who needed more attention than the kids. Some men just make things harder than they should be.


I'm not single, but this made me chuckle.
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Old 09-30-2011, 07:18 PM   #14
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Re: How do you single moms do it?

My hubby sometimes travels for work, sometimes its 2-3 days, a couple times a year it is for 5 days. Otherwise, he works from home in an office in the basement. Even though he keeps strict hours in his work office, its still extremely convenient for me to have him home, because if a child/baby is napping, I am free to go somewhere and leave them sleeping. I enjoy that convenience and don't take it for granted!

So when he does go, its rough, lol, I have 2 kids I'm taking to and from school/preschool all week and also have a 1 yr old in the mix, so to have him home is an absolute blessing. I have to wake up nappers to drive kids places, THAT gets annoying. Esp when the school age kid needs to be driven to school at 7:40 am.

The only thing I actually LIKE about when he leaves is not having to cook anything for supper (we eat, just not "dinner" if you KWIM), and my time when the kids go to bed is mine. I catch up on reading/sewing with out feeling like I'm ignoring him.
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Old 09-30-2011, 09:19 PM   #15
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Re: How do you single moms do it?

DH's mom died on Thursday, and I've been with the kids (well, I was at work during the day today) ever since while he is there, and I don't know how single moms have any sanity left. Not being able to pass the baby off while she is crying so I can give DFS his breathing treatments or read to DD is stressful! I have a tremendous amount of respect for single moms.
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Old 09-30-2011, 09:58 PM   #16
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It is easier. I got no help married and I had to deal with a selfish person who was worse then the kids.
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Old 10-01-2011, 05:38 AM   #17
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Re: How do you single moms do it?

My husband goes to the Outerbanks every year for a vacation with just the guys. Good for him, right? I agreed he should do so this year too, knowing I would have a three year old and a 6 week old to care for while he was gone.

I'm ashamed to admit, I nearly fell apart. Between the colic and the three year old pandemonium, I cannot imagine being a single parent long term.

Single parents who keep their business together with little ones deserve some kind of award. Or better yet, some relief.
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Old 10-01-2011, 06:00 AM   #18
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Re: How do you single moms do it?

I feel for single mothers too. My husband deployed in March and my first baby came 6 wks early on May 30th. Like some other moms my husband still pays the bills so it is not exactly the same but I have felt like a single mom for the past 4 months now. It has been really hard doing it on my own but God has seen me through I feel like God gave me this experience to have a better understanding of what single moms go through and I have a high level of compassion for them. My husband gets home in abt two wks and I can't wait to introduce him to his little boy. He will be getting out of the USMC in Jan and then it is back to work for me until he finds work, which I hope won't be long, so I can get back to my baby.
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Old 10-01-2011, 06:09 AM   #19
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Having been a single mom I think I do appreciate my now dh more. However, your post reminds me to be a bit more thankful when he helps me.
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Old 10-01-2011, 06:21 AM   #20
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Re: How do you single moms do it?

It's not just the business of taking care of the kids alone. It's that you are completely physically, emotionally, and financially responsible for the kids on your own. There's no financial support from anyone, there's no one to fall back on if you have an emergency. When my littlest needs to go to the ER in the middle of the night due to her asthma, I need to wake up all 3 and get their shoes and jackets on and carry them to the car. I have to entertain them in the ER all night. And heaven forbid she has xrays(which she usually does) because I have to drag all 3 in there to be with her and expose them all to radiation or beg the radiologist to let them stay behind the shield. I've had to let her go in as a baby by herself when they wouldn't let me bring the other kids in. And the next morning they miss school because they were in the hospital all night long not sleeping. And it happens at LEAST once or twice a month in the winter. When someone is up barfing all night long, I am up to and there's no one to take the kids so I can take a nap the next day. You just suck it up and down coffee like it's air all day. There's no one to pass a crying kid off to. There's no one to just keep an eye on a crying baby so I can shower really quick. There's no one to do school or sports pick-ups so it all falls on me. I think it's the little things that husbands do that you may not realize, even those of you who feel that your husband doesn't contribute. And not only are you physically on your own and financially on your own but the mental strain of KNOWING that constantly is the hardest. It's having no one to call and whine to on a bad day or having no one to share all the exciting new milestones with. It's extremely isolating.
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