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Old 10-01-2011, 07:20 AM   #21
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Re: How do you single moms do it?

Originally Posted by 3rockstars View Post
It's not just the business of taking care of the kids alone. It's that you are completely physically, emotionally, and financially responsible for the kids on your own. There's no financial support from anyone, there's no one to fall back on if you have an emergency. When my littlest needs to go to the ER in the middle of the night due to her asthma, I need to wake up all 3 and get their shoes and jackets on and carry them to the car. I have to entertain them in the ER all night. And heaven forbid she has xrays(which she usually does) because I have to drag all 3 in there to be with her and expose them all to radiation or beg the radiologist to let them stay behind the shield. I've had to let her go in as a baby by herself when they wouldn't let me bring the other kids in. And the next morning they miss school because they were in the hospital all night long not sleeping. And it happens at LEAST once or twice a month in the winter. When someone is up barfing all night long, I am up to and there's no one to take the kids so I can take a nap the next day. You just suck it up and down coffee like it's air all day. There's no one to pass a crying kid off to. There's no one to just keep an eye on a crying baby so I can shower really quick. There's no one to do school or sports pick-ups so it all falls on me. I think it's the little things that husbands do that you may not realize, even those of you who feel that your husband doesn't contribute. And not only are you physically on your own and financially on your own but the mental strain of KNOWING that constantly is the hardest. It's having no one to call and whine to on a bad day or having no one to share all the exciting new milestones with. It's extremely isolating.
I agree. I *basically* live like a single mom because I do all the things you described and have absolutely no help. But, I do have a DH who is helping support us financially so I don't have to worry about it, and he is there for me by phone whenever I need him. I have been a single mom before and had to worry about all that plus working/bills and it is a different level. I only had 3 kids at the time, and I couldn't imagine doing it with 5!


Heather, wife to James & mommy to:
Jaden (8.06), Mara (8.07), Fenn (5.09),
Elias (7.10), & Levi (11.11) 80lbs lost!
*i* Loved and Lost (6/12), (9/12), & (2/13) *i*
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Old 10-01-2011, 07:38 AM   #22
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Re: How do you single moms do it?

I am not technically a single parent but DH works constantly and also goes to school so even on the rare occurrence that he is home he is sleeping or studying. I do every single thing with no help from anybody and sometimes I feel like I get the crappy part of being a single parent without the benefits (being able to have a down time bc the other parent has the kids). It's harder when he is here because I have to keep the kids quite when all they want to do is jump their daddy bc they miss him. Plus when he is gone I just have to worry about the kids, for example I can make a simple dinner that I know the kids will eat. When DH is here I make something that DH likes which is more involved and I still have to do that while watching the kids bc he needs to study/sleep/work on something around the house or in the yard plus I still have to make a separate dinner that the kids will eat. I miss him when he is gone but him being here makes messes up our whole schedule bc I try to let the kids get every second they can with him. I know I kind of sound like a beotch here but I love my husband so very much which is why I have stuck through this with him and try to make it as easy on him as possible. It is a 5yr program and he is on year 4 thank the Lord.
~Cheri~Happily married to the love of my life with 2 crazy little boys and a sweet baby girl. I am a Christian, country livin', knitter and bookie who is becoming more crunchy by the day
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