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Old 03-07-2012, 04:28 PM   #101
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I DO!!! I feel more than guilty....My youngest who is 14 months was BF until last summer when I learned I had liver disease.My dr's put me on meds.that are not safe for BF to get my levels up to par.So the reason I feel so bad is I just weaned off all the the meds. I was on to TTC.I feel like I jipped my 14 mo.but it's o.k to stop the meds. to TTC,Ya know? I'm having a really hard time w/all of this now almost all of my friends and people we are with on a reg.basis BF and it really bothers me that I'm not.

Sorry for the long rant...
my pitty party is over LOL !


Meghan Momma to 7~
2 princesses & 5 pirates
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Old 03-08-2012, 06:04 AM   #102
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I struggle with these feelings, too, though my situation is different. My daughter had a cleft palate and I pumped what I could for her, as long as I could, though my supply was never well-established even with a hospital pump and prescription drugs. I would feel self-conscious when I was out and about giving her a bottle, even though it was the ly way she could eat!

I've been breastfeeeding my son, which has been wonderful, but we are weaning faster than I had hoped (see my other post). I am sad about this, and feel my own self-judgement wheni feed him formula. It was different when my husband would feed him formula, but I feel so sad when I do.

But, alas, I've had a lot of medical challenges and this is where we are. Though the particulars of my situation are different than yours, I resonate with the feelings you describe. I've been trying to discern what in all of this is about my som's needs and what are about mine? What is best for everyone? What can I let go of?

And, we will parent our little ones in many, many ways over the years. This is just the beginning, and is only one of those many ways. But it's hard.

Gentleness and peace to you, you're a great mom!

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Old 03-15-2012, 12:49 PM   #103
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I'm dealing with the guilt and sadness of not breastfeeding right now. I nursed my other three children successfully and had zero problems. I expected that nursing my fourth baby to be just as easy, BUT it wasn't. She is extremely tongue tied and had her tongue clipped just hours after birth, but was still unable to latch. The LC at the hospital told me that my baby had the worst latch/tongue problems of any baby she had ever seen. I started pumping, but my milk never really came in like it should. Mostly due to the gallbladder disease I developed during my pregnancy. I was becoming malnourished at the end of my pregnacy and was induced at 37 weeks because of it. I pumped as much as I could, but with four children to take care of I wasn't able to pump as often as I should. Nora is on all formula now.

In my heart, I know I tried and did all I could. I know I made the best decision for me and my baby, but I still feel sad that it didn't work out the way I thought it would.
Claire...momma to T (6), W (5), H (4) and N (1)

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Old 03-15-2012, 01:07 PM   #104
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

As you know all too well now, you are not alone. I struggled with both of my children and after 2 months they were on formula completely. The most comforting thing I took away from my experience was that I tried. Honestly, truely, with all that I had I tried. My body and my babies (each had a weak suck) just couldn't do it in a way that worked for our family. With my second child, I was on a round the clock routine with nursing, supplement feeding, and pumping twice before the next feeding. Even though BM is the most healthy food for my daughter I could no longer justify going through all that bc it wasn't just taking a toll on me. My son missed me, so did my husband. I didn't enjoy my daughter like I knew I could without all the added pressure to nurse her. I did what was best for her and my family and went to formula. We were all happier and that's how I know I made the best decision.
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Old 03-15-2012, 11:56 PM   #105
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Smile Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I felt horrible when I did not produce enough milk. We resorted to formula. I would pump and get nothing. I realized that I was going to be a better mom if I was not frustrated and suffering from lack of sleep. My daughter needed a happy mom. I could not fight nature.... I made peace with it. For some time I felt the need to say I tried but could not but now I am secure in knowing that I did my best.... My daughter is healthy and that is important.... My advice would be to do the best you can....
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Old 03-27-2012, 09:25 PM   #106
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

DH says that the first rule of babies is "feed the baby." If you're meeting that rule with adequate nutrition, you have no reason to feel guilty!

I struggled to nurse my two older children, and my daughter had health problems due to my lack of supply and unidentified allergies. It was expensive in time, money, emotion, and her health.

With this third baby, we decided that it just wasn't worth the cost and went to formula to begin with. I can't tell you how much easier it has been! I am a more laid back mom for not being worried about how much she's getting to eat, and she's a happier baby than my first two simply because she's getting enough to eat! I'm not tied to a pump. We're all sleeping better than with the first two babies. I'm not worried that what I'm eating is causing her allergy problems.

While I would have loved to have exclusively nursed all three, and I think every new mom should attempt to nurse if possible, I think it's more important for babies to get a healthy, happy mom and enough to eat so they can grow healthy and happy too!
Penny, Mama to Peanut (DS6), Sweet Pea (DD3), and Chickpea, our Valentine's day baby DD
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Old 04-04-2012, 08:40 PM   #107
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I have really enjoyed reading this thread (not to take pleasure in people's guilt though, but for the sincere stories). I supplement with formula because I can't pump enough when I'm away from my DS, and I've felt so guilty about it at times even though it's reduced stress all around. I don't have to stress if I'm not pumping enough, and other people, like DH, can feed the baby when they want instead of having to consult with me first.
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Old 04-04-2012, 08:51 PM   #108
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I absolutely HATE that I can't BF. I have a medical condition and never produced milk. I was determined to BF my 1st and had very little support as a teen mom but I knew in my heart it was what I wanted. After a week of him being latched constantly and always screaming, went to see a lactation consultant and I don't produce milk. Completely depressing. I felt terrible for starving my baby and like less of a woman because I was broken.
Julie , Found my happily ever after with the man of my dreams Proud momma and stepmom to Jacob (12), Clara (8), Kylie (8) and Madeline clomid miracle (4)
Our new squish, Emma! Born Sept. 23rd.

Always in our hearts- 8/30/11, 11 weeks 4 days & 12/16/11, 5 weeks.
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Old 04-04-2012, 10:09 PM   #109
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I did at first, but eventually got over it.
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Old 04-05-2012, 01:36 PM   #110
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

It is hard, I'm with you. Sometimes I just say I am, or dodge the question. But, many people tell me that their kids are okay and make it through using formula. I tried a few different meds that somewhat helped my milk production, but it never completely came in. When she is done with formula I will probably do some work to help her digest foods better using the GAPS way of eating. Just love your baby with your whole heart and that matters more than anything!
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