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Old 10-03-2011, 01:04 PM   #11
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I tried with both of my kids. I was not producing enough with my first and as soon as I suplimented her with formula she refused breast and breast milk. My second was in the NICU for a couple days. I had got him to latch in the two hours after birth, but he didn't eat anything for a day and a half. Then they gave him a bottle to make sure he could swallow before they allowed me to breast feed. Pumping was not possible for me. I have to say the only time I felt guilty was when this guy at the wic office made a big deal over it. I was a new mother already dealing with bonding issues... He was no longer employed shortly there after.

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Old 10-03-2011, 07:39 PM   #12
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

DD is 9 months old and I still feel guilty for giving her formula. I breastfed her in the beginning but she wasn't getting enough, wasn't gaining, and was becoming dehydrated. It was necessary to supplement her but the nursing/pumping/supplementing routine got old very quickly, especially with two older rambunctious boys. She is doing fantastic now and has grown exponentially (90th% as opposed to 9th% at her lowest weight) but the guilt is still there.
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:02 PM   #13
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I've done both and I have to admit, I find the time with ff to be more intimate than b******. I know - crazy right? Let me explain.

With b******, I could just put the baby on the boppy, latch him and then I'd have my hands free, so I'd hop online or play with my phone. With f******, I have to hold the baby up, hold the bottle for him. I am more focused on the baby and am less distracted. With his position ff, there's more eye contact, more talking, more touching.

I'm surprised I'm enjoying it as much as I am. I bf'd my first one for 13 months and thought I'd bf all my kids for at least a year. Things changed with this baby and I rolled with it. I am glad I did.
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Old 10-04-2011, 04:36 PM   #14
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I had my first on Sept 16th, and I opted not to BF from the start.

I'm so glad that I decided not to BF. I hit the Baby Blues/PPD pretty hard on day three, and had to be put on meds.
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Old 10-04-2011, 10:27 PM   #15
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I think you have to do what's best for you and baby, and no matter how many BFing advocates say it, I'm sorry, it's just not always breastfeeding. I had a friend who's LO had SEVERE allergies. After killing herself with an elimination diet where she ended up eliminating almost EVERYTHING and he was still having issues, they switched to the milk free hydrolized formula. She was sooo upset, because it was her second and she was so tied to BFing. But once they got settled she told me she wished she hadn't resisted for so long, because everyone was much happier, and baby was doing so much better. Don't feel guilty for doing what you have to do, and remember mama's sanity matters too.
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Old 10-05-2011, 12:16 AM   #16
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

First of all, Momma! I am right there with you. I had both my LO via C-Section and also had a serious lack of milk production. I nursed DS for 3 months and I pumped for 2 months with DD. When she was born, they kept checking her blood sugar and I was told she wasn't getting enough and to give her formula from the start. I had a hospital grade pump and even then, very little milk was produced.

Don't beat yourself up about it. At least you tried, which alot of Mothers don't. And only you know what is best for you and your LO. A Mommy that is stressing about a lack of milk production, takes it's toll on a baby. I know how hard it can be when people ask you about nursing and even how hard it can be to see other Mommies nurse with no issue whatsoever from the start. IMO, there are just some Mommas that have problems through no fault of their own. That's why they used to have wet nurses. At least your baby is getting the nutrition he or she needs and is healthy because of it.

Hope that helps ease the stress
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Old 10-05-2011, 12:24 AM   #17
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I feel so guilty about not making it all the way to a year with out formula that I switched to cloth diapering. Henry at 4 months had not gained an oz since 2 months so I started giving him more formula and my supply gradually dwindled to nothing until I had to cut him off a month ago and it hurt but I was also relieved because he was biting me so much. He really was about 90 percent formula from 5 months on.
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Old 10-05-2011, 01:23 PM   #18
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Yes. I beat myself up so bad about it I spiraled into a dark, deep and never ending pit of depression.

I took 23 pills a day, pumped and supplemented every 1.5 hours (including nighttime) every single day for 3 months until one morning I woke up and my body said screw this I'm done. I was pushed so bad by the nursing to take such drastic measures to increase my supply starting only TWO days after my DD was born. I blame them.

My depression over it got so bad I started to harm myself and withdraw from life. I'd hid so no one had to see me using a bottle. It was horrible. I was horrible.

Now after 2.5 years I KNOW there is NO shame in Ff. None. Zip. Zilch. Nadda. My DD can spell her name, count to twenty, knows all her colors, shapes, letters and numbers. She communicates better than my DH most days and most of all she is happy and healthy.

I will try to breastfeed again for #2 however if I can't, I don't care. I can only do my best and no one can knock me down.
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Old 10-05-2011, 08:06 PM   #19
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I don't spend a lot of time in this forum, even though I FF'd both my kids. But couldn't overlook this title without chiming in.

With my first, I BF'd for 3 days, hated it with every fiber of my being. The guilt was horrible when I quit and decided to just pump. I pumped for awhile and the guilt subsided slowly, about the same rate my milk supply dwindled.

With my second, I BF'd twice. Yep, twice. I sent my hubby a text because he'd gone home for the night to take care of our other child and said, "I'm done and I don't feel remotely guilty." And I wasn't.

You can call me lazy or tell me I don't care about my baby's health because I didn't BF, but I could care less what anyone else thinks. I'm a BFing quitter and 100% okay with that.
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Old 10-05-2011, 09:11 PM   #20
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First hugs momma!! I'm glad you posted this. It's good to know I'm not the only one who deals with guilty feelings. Mine and dd's story is a long one. Basically I wanted to go all natural, natural start to labor, medicine/intervention free, exclusively breastfeeding from the start, skin to skin immediately after birth. Well, I ended up with an induction (two weeks overdue, low amniotic fluid), an epidural after 30 hours of labor, a vacuum extraction and her rushed to the NICU in the hospital we were in and then 10 hours later she was life flighted to another NICU 3 hours out of town. I wasnt able to hold her for the first five days of her life and he wasnt allowed to eat by mouth for the first 6 days of her life.

I was dead set on breastfeeding no matter what. Well, dd ended up with oral aversion and screams when there us anything other than a Tommee Tippee bottle in her mouth. I pumped a much as I could but had a low supply, and pumping just reminded me how bf'ing was just another thing I didn't get to do. I was an emotional wreck until I decided pumping and crying every time just wasn't worth it.

Do I feel guilty that I'm not pumping for at least some if my dd's food? Yes I do, but I'm learning that formula is not evil and I'm a much happier momma. And that's what I know what's best for my dd, a happy momma.
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