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Old 10-13-2011, 01:42 PM   #31
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I don't know why people think that BF'ing makes a kid smarter. I see a lot of FF'ing moms, including myself, talk about how our LO's are smart, and list the things they can do. Do people really think that FF'ing will actually stunt a childs intelligence???? Crazy

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Old 10-13-2011, 07:45 PM   #32
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I feel guilty because I have no trouble BF but I hate it

He was born at 35+6, in the NICU for 2 weeks, and we weren't allowed to hold him for the first week or so. I was told to expect trouble feeding him and that we'd almost definitely have to supplement with formula. Nope. I have a great supply (a quarter of a deep-freeze full of expressed milk now; I pump in addition to BF) and his latch is great. The lactation consultant told us they'd never seen a NICU baby eat as well as he does.

So I have absolutely no excuse not to BF him. So that's what we're doing. But I really, really do not enjoy it. I'd feel hideously guilty about admitting that to his dad or about switching to formula (even though FOB WANTS to FF) because of all the purported benefits of BF. I feel guilty even for admitting this on the internet where none of you know me.

Sorry. I know I don't exactly belong on the FF part of the forum, just browsing, I guess.
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Old 10-13-2011, 08:27 PM   #33
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

ive never bf & its never botherd me. the baby im having wont b eather.
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Old 10-31-2011, 07:31 PM   #34
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I am glad you posted this, I feel the SAME way. I have supply issues, and literally can only get out a couple ounces every few hours. DS would want to nurse ALL THE TIME. I hated it! I was exhausted, and DH couldn't help with feedings. I was always steaming with frustration about the next feeding, my supply, how my boobs felt. It made me really sad.

I loved formula feeding. DS could get a full 5-6 oz. and SLEEP. And then wake up 3 hours later, and get another full feeding. We could cuddle and snuggle, and co-sleep still. But we had bottles and I didn't have to worry about not being able to see if he got enough, or if we would be up again in 1 hour because I didn't produce enough or it wasn't filling for him. I loved being able to see how much he got, because I could re-wake him to finish his bottle.

I may pump and bottle feed, and see how that goes. But ultimately, I may formula feed. I hate that DH and my MIL are ALWAYS talking about how good BF'ing is, and that it's sad if I don't do it. It's not their boob in action, or their loss of sleep, and I need to remember that. I remember when they were on my case about cloth diapering.. so I switched.. and they were the ones to chicken out first, saying they didn't like it. I loved it! LOL!! So just because someone thinks you should, doesn't even mean they would be able to do it themselves.

So I'm going to take it one day at a time, and then do whatever works for ME. Because a happy mommy and happy baby are important, regardless of how they are getting the nutrition. Either way, he/she will get it!!
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Old 11-01-2011, 05:57 AM   #35
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

I used to. I had so wanted it to work out and I'm really hoping it will when this baby comes. But I look at my son and see how healthy and smart he is. He rarely gets sick, he's above average in certain areas, and just a wonderful boy. Sure, he does have a major issue with milk protein and gluten, but I doubt BFing would have prevented either of those as I also have issues with gluten and dairy. It runs in the family.

I'm hoping that if for some reason it doesn't work with the next baby I will be able to switch without feeling ashamed. However, the main reason I want to BF the next baby is to avoid making and washing bottles along with finding a formula that doesn't bother their stomach if they also have a sensitive stomach. I'd also like to save money...Not because I think it will make the next baby smarter or healthier. I hate getting those lectures because I just don't believe it.
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Old 11-01-2011, 03:22 PM   #36
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

Nope, no guilt here. BFing is a choice and I chose not to, why should I feel guilty? I was FF and I graduated high school with an almost perfect GPA, I barely ever get sick. My husband is the same way.

I tried to BF in the hospital (mostly to get the nurses and LCs to just leave me alone, I didn't want a lecture) but I hated it. I felt miserable and I cried at every feeding.

On top of the fact that I didn't want to BF, my son was born severely tongue tied and it took 3 months to get it corrected, by that point I was obviously dried up. I'm happy with my decision and if I have any more LOs, I will use formula from the beginning.
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Old 11-07-2011, 10:40 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by matersalad
Nope, no guilt here. BFing is a choice and I chose not to, why should I feel guilty? I was FF and I graduated high school with an almost perfect GPA, I barely ever get sick. My husband is the same way.

I tried to BF in the hospital (mostly to get the nurses and LCs to just leave me alone, I didn't want a lecture) but I hated it. I felt miserable and I cried at every feeding.

On top of the fact that I didn't want to BF, my son was born severely tongue tied and it took 3 months to get it corrected, by that point I was obviously dried up. I'm happy with my decision and if I have any more LOs, I will use formula from the beginning.
Your an awesome momma wish more mommas felt the same as you. It would make life so much easier lol I hate when someone looks down at me cause I choose to formula feed and not bf.
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Old 11-12-2011, 12:46 AM   #38
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Your an awesome momma wish more mommas felt the same as you. It would make life so much easier lol I hate when someone looks down at me cause I choose to formula feed and not bf.
Momma no one should ever make you feel bad for how you feed your babies! As long as they are happy and fed that is all that matters I am a strong believer that breast is NOT always best. If mom is not happy, baby is not happy. Have faith that you are doing a good job because I'm sure you are!
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Old 11-12-2011, 07:07 AM   #39
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Momma no one should ever make you feel bad for how you feed your babies! As long as they are happy and fed that is all that matters I am a strong believer that breast is NOT always best. If mom is not happy, baby is not happy. Have faith that you are doing a good job because I'm sure you are!
Awe thank you my kids are very healthy hardly ever get sick the older one does great in school very smart. It's just the looks and comments when we are out and I'm feeding her that get me some times. People can be monsters
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Old 11-12-2011, 08:51 PM   #40
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Re: Anybody ever feel guilty about not BF?

My story is a little different. I never felt guilty, but for a while I was extremely depressed. I was neurotic about BFing. I looked forward to a natural birth with an epidural, immediate skin to skin and EBF. I told all the nurses and family NO bottles or pacis. Well, God had other plans. I ended up with an emergency C after 2 failed epidurals and 28 hours of labor. We both had infections and he was in the NICU for 10 days. His first feedings were bottles because my milk didn't come in for 7 days. We had great nurses who helped us establish BFing and he did great. I had a massive supply and could get 6 ounces in less than 5 minutes. I loved every second of BFing. When we went for his checkups, we noticed he wasn't gaining weight. It took him 2 months to gain 1 pound and he was in the 3rd percentile. After some talking and rudimentary testing, we came to the conclusion that my milk was nutrient poor. He ate plenty and often but wasn't growing. He also had severe reflux and eczema. So I started supplementing and then at 3 months, I went back to work and my thyroid flipped out at the same time... overnight, I went from nursing 5 times a day and pumping 14-20 ounces to not making 2 ounces in an entire day. I was devastated. But guess what? With formula, he went from 3% to between 50 and 75 percentile, stopped refluxing, eczema cleared up, and is ahead in all cognative and physical milestones. It took me a week of crying to realize that formula does 100 times more for him than my body could.
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