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Old 10-03-2011, 02:27 PM   #1
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Unhappy potty learning. should i be dilligent or is she trying to tell me she isnt ready?

My DD turned 2 june 8. I had no plans of pushing potty learning until at least 2.5 but she was showing tons of interest in the toilet so - started her in panties and 2 weeks later she was dry all day and night. Just a couple months later we're going thru 10 pair of panties a day and dry nights are about 25% of the time. I'm a very 'blame myself and suffer thru it' kind of mom but DH thinks we should put her back in trainers. He thinks we potty learned too early and too fast. I said I don't want to be a quitter but really I don't want to stress her out and traumatize her, I just want to do what's best for her. We're not talking back in diapers just back to cloth trainers for outings and at night. Thoughts? What should I do?

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Old 10-03-2011, 02:55 PM   #2
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Re: potty learning. should i be dilligent or is she trying to tell me she isnt ready?

This is hard, because I think it would be a huge step backwards. I am almost done potty training my 2 year old, and it has been hard work. I was told by numerous moms not to put her in panties until I was sure. They said once she is out of diapers you shouldn't go back. My DD only wears diapers to bed now. It takes a while to train the body to wake up to go urinate in the potty, this is the hardest. I guess you really need to assess her readiness, as only you, her mom, can do best. Does she know it is wrong to urinate on herself? How does she react when she does it? I know this is hard (believe me!!!) but at this point since you already put her in panties I would stick with it.

You know, come to think of it when we first started DD did REALLY well and then just stopped. Her pediatrician said that with kids when they learn a new skill (like using the toilet) they do it until they feel they've "mastered" it and then just sort of get over the novelty. I'd say stick with it. Reward her with candy, or stickers, or whatever (That's what got us back on track) and lots of praise.

Some people seem to think accidents mean kids aren't ready but I disagree. BTDT. Good luck!
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:04 PM   #3
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Re: potty learning. should i be dilligent or is she trying to tell me she isnt ready?

DS2 did that, and I bought some Hannah Anderson trainers because they LOOK just like underpants but have extra fabric. They can't hardly wet all the way through, so they have a lot of protection, but it isn't like going backwards. I think every child is different. I pl'd at 14 mo because I told my mom I wanted panties. Both of my boys had more trouble. DS2 started and stopped back and forth through his whole 2s. I have no idea what that was about, other than the fact that it was a stressful year. It might just be a 2 steps forward 1 step back. I would do panties at home for sure, and trainers that look and feel as much like panties as you can do when out and at bedtime. I wouldn't "push" her because it may backfire but I would really really really encourage, nicely. Just my !
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:16 PM   #4
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Re: potty learning. should i be dilligent or is she trying to tell me she isnt ready?

Quote:
Originally Posted by loveskitten View Post
This is hard, because I think it would be a huge step backwards. I am almost done potty training my 2 year old, and it has been hard work. I was told by numerous moms not to put her in panties until I was sure. They said once she is out of diapers you shouldn't go back. My DD only wears diapers to bed now. It takes a while to train the body to wake up to go urinate in the potty, this is the hardest. I guess you really need to assess her readiness, as only you, her mom, can do best. Does she know it is wrong to urinate on herself? How does she react when she does it? I know this is hard (believe me!!!) but at this point since you already put her in panties I would stick with it.

You know, come to think of it when we first started DD did REALLY well and then just stopped. Her pediatrician said that with kids when they learn a new skill (like using the toilet) they do it until they feel they've "mastered" it and then just sort of get over the novelty. I'd say stick with it. Reward her with candy, or stickers, or whatever (That's what got us back on track) and lots of praise.

Some people seem to think accidents mean kids aren't ready but I disagree. BTDT. Good luck!
This is what I heard too!
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:17 PM   #5
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Re: potty learning. should i be dilligent or is she trying to tell me she isnt ready?

I am going through the same! My DD was 2 in june as well and she has good days and bad days.. i can usually tell how her day is going to start.. she will usually hand pick what she thinks she can handle... Let your daughter tell you what she wants to wear that day.. let her pick from her trainers or panties.. that should usually tell you what she's ready for! and just remind her that if she picks the panties that she has to go on the toilet, because at the first accident she will go back to the trainers! I wouldn't push it, just go with the flow! that's what i have to tell myself!
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:34 PM   #6
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Re: potty learning. should i be dilligent or is she trying to tell me she isnt ready?

Oh, also, try buying and reading her the book "everyone poops". Something really seemed to click with her when we read that (several times a day at her request) and she went from having numerous accidents a day to one at most. I said "eww" to all the poo-poo and she was hooked from there on.
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:50 PM   #7
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Re: potty learning. should i be dilligent or is she trying to tell me she isnt ready?

She would NEVER poop in her pants! Just pee. It kind of just seems like she doesn't care. I love the idea of getting some pretty trainers and letting her choose. It would allow her to let me know exactly what she feels up to that day.
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Old 10-04-2011, 02:56 PM   #8
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Re: potty learning. should i be dilligent or is she trying to tell me she isnt ready?

I agree - dont' go back to diaper for sure! maaaybe trainers that looked like undies. But here's the thing - what are you saying with trainers vs undies? Do you want her to be comfortable and okay peeing in her pants? Is that what a trainer is for? Or do you change it anyway?

Why would she pick trainers over panties? What attracts her to them? the design? Or the fact that it's ok to wet yourself?

If she's been dry all day and night before - I think she can do it now I would encourage her with real reasons why it's good to use a toilet tho, personally. Help her find out why SHE wants to do it. Ask yourself why do you use a toilet? Cuz the reasons you give are going to be the same reasons she'll want to, too. (more comfortable being dry, less rash, cleaner, quicker, smells better....) If she is using the potty because she wants to, for reasons that she likes - she will be more willing to make time and effort to go. If she's only using the potty because she knows you want her to - eventually she'll stop. Or if she only used it because she gets a treat - what happens when you stop giving treats?
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Old 10-04-2011, 03:05 PM   #9
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I am a firm believer in panties are for big girls and big girls pee in the potty. It isn't a self esteem issue. It's a very clear action A gets you the ultimate prize of wearing unnies and action b puts you back in baby diapers. Trainers are a waste IME and O.

I also know from experience that forcing and even coercing a child to PL just doesn't work and is not worth the frustration to either of you. They do it when they are ready. Keep a potty out and let her decide. Have conversations about the fun things PL kids get to do and how fun it would be to go pick out her favorite character undies, etc.
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Old 10-05-2011, 11:14 AM   #10
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Re: potty learning. should i be dilligent or is she trying to tell me she isnt ready?

Personally, I would go back to trainers. Whether it's considered going backwards or not, allowing her to continue to have frequent accidents not only stresses on you, but also on her. If she isn't living up to her prior behavior or to the ability to wear panties, then she may feel upset or like she is failing. Maybe something happened that triggered the accidents, or maybe it was just too early, or maybe she is just now learning about the feeling of control or holding it. Either way, until she's ready to try again, using trainers would probably be a relief for not only you but her as well. Hope that helps!
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