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Old 10-14-2011, 05:21 PM   #1
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After preemie did you plan for another one next time?

I have had two premature births and one very difficult pregnancy.

My first pregnancy resulted in losing my son Ben at 21 weeks. No heroic measures were taken as the doctors insisted he was too early to "try".

My second pregnancy I was told would not be too risky aside from a higher risk of abruption (reason I lost #1) I had no placental issues this time but major cervix and contraction issues along with some heart issues and another weird issue where my arm swelled and it looked as though I had a blood clot I didn't have. This pregnancy was horrible. I was in the hospital weekly if not more than once a week. I was on bedrest. I could only use the bathroom and take 15 minute showers. They thought the heart condition carried a 50% mortality rate for a few weeks before they figured out it was no big thing. (after going to a specialist over an hour from here and being admitted to that hospital) My arm they thought was a blood clot that was too close to transferring into my lung. Thankfully this was at the same time as my heart thing and went to another specialist at the distant hospital. I was constantly on meds constantly poked and prodded. At times the bed rest was to the point of not being able to leave the bed at all and having to use a bed pan. I still remember the inhuman feeling I had toward the end. I had been looked at inside and out. I had a cerclage at 21 weeks I had two CT scans that scared me to death for the sake of my baby. I had constant testing weekly ultrasounds many of them vaginal. It was just really really hard.

So after all of that rambling my point is having babies is no cake walk for me.

Now we are talking about trying for baby #3 next summer. Half of the time I am really excited the other half I just cant imagine going through all that again. This time I will also have a young child at home who needs me to be his mommy. For you moms who have been through facing another birth after premature births how do you prepare yourself for the possibility of another difficult pregnancy and premature birth? Any advice or support is much appreciated.

PS. The one good thing is the high risk Dr I had through most of my second pregnancy is great so that will be great to go in knowing I have an awesome Dr.

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Old 10-14-2011, 05:39 PM   #2
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Re: After preemie did you plan for another one next time?

I haven't had my (4th) pregnancy yet but I can tell you that every pregnancy is different.

My first was triplets and I had a pProm at 19w5d and was on hospital bedrest till 24 weeks when I had my children due to an infection around all three of them. Then over the next 5 months 5 days I lost all my children.

My second pregnancy was a miscarriage at 9 weeks due to Turners Syndrome (not much you can do about this, just the way it is).

My third pregnancy was my son. I was nervous with this pregnancy, but I also knew that stats were on my side that he would be fine and go to term. My pProm was unexplained with the triplets and I had 2 doctors tell me I didn't have an incompetent cervix. So I felt like I had a good chance. I told myself day in and day out that Max (my son) doesn't know what happened to his siblings, and none of it was his fault. So I did try to enjoy my pregnancy. I actually succeeded except for a OB visit at about 28 weeks when I saw an OB I had never seen before and I mentioned (out of hand) that he wasn't as active that day. She freaked out and had me do an non-stress test. I got to my planned c-section dated and aside from the resident who couldn't find my son's head (because he was breach) everything went well... then he was born. He was born with fluid on the lungs and a partially collapsed lung. Because of his siblings and them all remembering his sister, doctors wanted to be EXTRA sure that Max was okay. So they ran tests on him that were not needed per-say. So because of that I had a NICU baby for 6 days. I remember being so frustrated that even though I wasn't being seen by a peri, I asked if one could visit me before I was discharged. The person who delivered my triplets came and he assured me that my future pregnancies likely wouldn't result in NICU stays and that I had "bad luck".

Now I am counting down to my next pregnancy (also next summer, August I am hoping for). I had cancer and pelvic radiation since my last pregnancy. I have had the oncologist tell me that even though I am doing IVF (actually FET since I am in menopause) that she wants me to go no further then 36 weeks. I am still hoping that my doctor (peri) will disagree with her. I will be insanely high risk to the point that my peri wants to see me BEFORE I get pregnant. However even in the face of all this, I joke with my DH and most other people around me "Watch this baby will be in Well baby!" Are the odds on my side for a well baby? Nope, in fact the opposite, but honestly that baby (frozen about an hour south of here) doesn't know that and all they know is they will try their darn-est to try to come out healthy. That is what I focus on.

As far as handling your existing child, well my existing child will be almost 4 by the time of my transfer. He is fairly easy now and with time that will only get better. Am I worried I will end up in the hospital again? I guess but I am not planning on it. Like I said, every pregnancy is different and it sounds like we both have had our share of bad pregnancies so we are due for a good one.

Good luck to you! If you think you might cycle in August let me know, I could use a buddy.
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Old 10-14-2011, 05:52 PM   #3
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Re: After preemie did you plan for another one next time?

i do. better to be prepared, imo.
dd1 was born at 35 weeks after 12 weeks of PTL and bed rest.
pregnancy 2 was lost at 13 weeks(no idea why baby was fine 2 weeks prior)
dd2 was born at 38 weeks but after 18 weeks of PTL and bedrest and was only 1oz bigger than older dd.
dd3 was stillborn at 20 weeks.
ds was born at 36 weeks with IUGR.
I have been told that i likely will never carry to term and my babies will never be "full size" whatever that means. ds was perfectly healthy despite being 4.5 lbs and needed no care or extra attention. as long as they are healthy, i can deal with the rest.
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Old 10-14-2011, 06:05 PM   #4
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Re: After preemie did you plan for another one next time?

Well I"m on myh 4th pregnancy and as pp said.. each one is different... all of mine are similar but each is also thier own story... my first was born one morning at 28 weeks and 5 days with ZERO warning.. .I woke up not really having contractions by 8:30 I was crampy but not thinking they were contractions -- who is at 28 weeks -- went to work --- by 10:00 I was on my way to the dr. found out I was 6 cm dialated with a breech baby - cord prolasped and bags buldging -- at 11:30 he was born by emergency section... He spend 2 months in the NICU.... and is now a happy and healthy almost 7 year old...
My second - everything was fine till 20 weeks when I started contractions -- pretty consistant - around the clock -- went in for iv fluids and monitering - to be told my contractions look more in labor then the girl having a baby down the hall... and then I was discharged on modified bedrest.... out of work and take it easy.. lots of water and lots of peeing... at 28 weeks I was in the hospital for a week cuase I was having lots of contractions.. they coulldn't tell if DS#1 was from IC or not so they took all precautions.. and did mag. sulfate to stop contractions.. I was on it for like 5 days.. less than 2 hours after they took me off meds again contractions were back again.. they discharged me becuase of no cervix change... I was in again over night at 32 weeks and 34 weeks but I made it to 37 weeks with her and she was born small (5lbs) but healthy... and went home 3 days later (only becuase of group b strep positive but no time for antibotics durning labor - it was less than 2 hours in the hospital before she came)
After her I had an IUD put in... except I was the very very very slim chance of uterine preferation -- they had to go in laproscopily and take it our from behind my uterus.. found out I have a bicornate uterus and that's probably the reason for my preterm labor and contractions and my tiny babies...
Later got preggo with #3 and started with contracitons with him at 16 weeks... I had contractions the WHOLE time around the clock with him... was checked very very often but despite the constant contractions I never had cervical changes until 35 weeks when I went to 2.5 cm then stayed at 2.5 for the next 2 weeks when I had him at 37 weeks.. he was also small and had a 3 hour labor total but don't really know when it started cuase of my constant contractions anyways.. but dr. broke my water at 7:00 -- got epi at 8:00 and he was born around 10:00.... and contractions were totally bareable when I got the epi... so anyways... they are all similar but yet a little different in the precautions and risks taken.... I worked till 35 weeks with him...

Anyways.. I'm on #4 and I started contractions this week and I'm about 9 weeks... so they have gotten earlier each time by quite a bit... but as long as they aren't productive ones its ok... just a PITA for me....

Good Luck to you though.... I hope you carry for long enough to bring home a healthy little baby!
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Old 10-14-2011, 08:09 PM   #5
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Re: After preemie did you plan for another one next time?

My first was born at 36 weeks after pPROM. Since she was so close to term, I wasn't especially worried the next time around and my doctors were a little cautious, but I wasn't high risk. Then with my second, I got a stomach flu at 32 weeks, was vomiting and dehydrated and contracting like crazy. After several days in the hospital and different kinds of medications, I ended up with pulmonary edema (lungs filling with fluid) an they had to stop the meds for PTL. My water broke and she was born at 33 weeks.

The last time around, I was totally prepared for a preemie and even had a consult with a perinatologist prior to getting pregnant. I had ultrasounds to look for cervical length, progesterone shots starting at 16 weeks, treatment for BV even though I had no symptoms of it my culture was positive, two fetal fibronectin tests, and steroid shots at 30 weeks just in case. She was born at 37 weeks 2 days. But knowing that I was doing everything in my power to prepare and to try to keep her in there really helped ease my mind.
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Old 10-14-2011, 08:51 PM   #6
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Re: After preemie did you plan for another one next time?

I am so sorry for you mamas who have lost LOs. Even after losing my own its hard to imagine how anyone can deal with the loss. 3 ladybugs I am so sorry it has been so hard for you! I can't imagine the loss of three babies at once and than to lose another after. I don't know if I would have the strength to go on. You are a brave and strong woman.

After I lost my first. (We also had NO warning until I had an abruption one night) My husband knew immediately that he wanted to try again asap and I agreed although I was nervous. We barely even considered the what ifs.

The second time when we went through everything I was more afraid than I have ever been in my life. (With the first I didn't really believe I would lose the baby until the last minute which left no time to really be as afraid as I should have been.)

I am thinking I may have to hire someone to help me around the house and with my son. We don't have much money to spare but if I have to go to the hospital I want my son to be able to stay with someone he knows. This however is terrifying for me because we have not left DS with a babysitter.......

I will go to my high risk peri. Anything else I can do to prepare or to try to get through it?
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Old 10-15-2011, 08:22 AM   #7
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Re: After preemie did you plan for another one next time?

With DS I had a small abruption at 13 weeks. I was on bedrest for 2 weeks, followed with taking it easy for the rest of the pregnancy. At almost 32 weeks out of the blue PROM. I hadn't been doing very much, was well hydrated, not stressed, nothing was wrong. The highest does of mag sulfate couldn't stop contractions. They got in one steroid shot right away and we held off on birth for 24 hours. I am still confused why they switched my IV from mag sulfate to Pictocin if I was obviously having great contractions on my own and they wanted DS to have time for the second steroid shot to work it's way through.

Next time around we are apprehensive of this happening again. Not having a reason for why DS came early bothers me. That I don't have any risk factors at all for abruption, yet had one, scares me and DH to death. He should have been on duty at work all night the night that happened. The GYN I saw here says that as soon as I get a BFP they will send me to the specialists. I'll probably have biweekly visits early on and receive progesterone shots (I'm tired, that might be the wrong drug). She also said they would give a tour of the NICU.

Pregnancy has always been a different experience for me then most women. After two m/c we didn't feel safe with DS until 13 weeks. The night of 13 weeks everything became questionable again. DH didn't want to do the nursery until after 30 weeks.

Next pregnancy we are going in with the hopes of a full term baby but plans for another complicated pregnancy.
I'll keep up with normal exercise and activities, but we know I can't work while preg or do my normal "man chores" that I do.
Nursery will be set up probably half way through the preg, but have preemie clothing.
Having extra doctor visits will be comforting and annoying.
My Mom is going to be on call to fly down to take care of DS. Come to think of it I should probably plan on a guest bed for her.
DH will have to be on shore duty because he doesn't want to go on deployment again during pregnancy, so we have a bit of a time limit on having the next kid. We were going to try in the spring, but just found out DH's orders got moved up so we will be moving in the fall. There is no way we are moving while I am pregnant so no baby next year
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Old 10-15-2011, 11:45 AM   #8
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Re: After preemie did you plan for another one next time?

oh yes.. I did the progestrone shots (p17) with both of my kids that made it full term... was it concidence or did it really help them get to full term I have no idea... but won't risk not doing it either...
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Old 10-15-2011, 03:37 PM   #9
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Re: After preemie did you plan for another one next time?

I did the progesterone weekly as a shot. (You can do it vaginally but it is not fun I prefer the poke!) I really hate shots but I believe that it really helped me. I will be doing them again along with another cerclage at 14 weeks (I think thats what they said) I am praying that will be enough to have a better pregnancy. My bed rest started around 15 weeks (maybe less I forget but know it wasn't after that point.) I don't want it to be that bad again. At the very least I want to be able to play with DS even if someone else has to do meals, baths etc.
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Old 10-19-2011, 05:32 PM   #10
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Re: After preemie did you plan for another one next time?

All 5 of my pregnancies were different.
At 15 I got pregnant with my DD. Pregnancy went smoothly delivery just as smooth and quick at 40 weeks. 7lbs
my 2nd baby I had unexplained bleeding at 6 weeks and 13 weeks. Then Preterm labor at 34 weeks which had me admitted to a hospital 2 hours away. I had him at 38 weeks weighing 7lbs 13oz.
my 3rd baby was tough. at 27 weeks I went into preterm labor dialated to 2cm. Stayed at 2cm with several episodes of preterm labor till 37 weeks when I went for my OB visit I was 4cm and contracting every few minutes. Baby weighed 6lbs 7oz.
my 4th baby I went into labor at 26 weeks. by 30 weeks was dilated to 4. Had him at 36 weeks weighing 6lbs 14.5 oz.
My 5th OMG was scarey. At 6, 13, 18 and 20 weeks I had bleeding episodes. the one at 13 weeks my OB said he would see me the next week to schedule a D&C due to spontanious miscarriage. At 25 weeks i just didn't feel like myself. My friend that worked in L&D talked me into going in and being checked. The minute the nurse checked me I was flipped head down and had meds immedeitely injected. I was 5cm with a bulging bag almost to the point of deliver and the baby's head was partially through my cervix. 2 weeks of laying with my head lower than my butt they were able to back the baby up and my bag of water wasn't bulging as bad. at 34 weeks I went into labor again and was hospitalized dialated to 6. a week later i had an AMNIO to determine baby's lung development which came out perfect and was sent to deliver. The OB broke my water and 20 mins later baby was crowning without contractions. They had to give me pitocin to help push him out. after an hour of pushing i had a 6lb 14.75oz baby boy.

I have since had a Hysterectomy due to uterine issues from having several children with alot of contracting. My uterus was worn out.
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