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Old 10-22-2011, 10:52 AM   #1
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For those with multipe same gender kiddos :)

So this is baby #3, and our last kiddo, we have 2 boys, and like most couples, we really want a girl. SO the problem we are having is, do we find out the gender during pregnancy or wait til delivery? With DS2 we had slight disappointment for a few days when we found out it was another boy (don't hate me) but obviously got over it and just became excited planning for his arrival. This time we were thinking of not fnding out so that there will b nothing but excitement at delivery... but I know I will secretly hope for a girl the whole pregnancy.... so after ALL my rambling, do you think it would be better to learn the gender before delivery so that if there is any disappointment, we will be over it? or do u think it will be easier to wait until the birth?

any input would be appreciated, thanks girls!

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Old 10-22-2011, 11:12 AM   #2
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Re: For those with multipe same gender kiddos :)

I also struggle with deciding whether or not to wait. Years ago, when we imagined we'd have several children, we always planned on waiting. Their gender wouldn't matter, and the magic of finding out at birth is unlike anything else.
Now that (b/c of fertility issues) this will likely be our only, I find myself re-thinking the decision.

So here's my opinion:
Find out. :-)

Yes, you'll be excited no matter WHAT the gender is when they're born, but eventually you might feel some disappointment (and no, it doesn't make you a bad person), and wouldn't you rather that disappointment be a distant memory, instead of coming when you're holding him?

Frankly, after years of TTC, I'll be happy with whatever God gives me. Realistically though? I'm going to be very sad for a short time if I find out it's a boy, simply because I've always wanted a little girl more (though I've always wanted more boys, go figure). So we'll probably find out our baby's gender, so we can buy lots of gender-specific things.

I'm a very practical person, but when it's your last (or only) child, the practicality of gender neutrality kinda gets thrown out the window for me.
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Old 10-22-2011, 11:22 AM   #3
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Ddc. Mom of 3 boys. Boy 4 on the way. For me its easier to deal with the gender dissappointment while pg.
We didnt tell anyone the gender bc ppl are rude about. It got so bad after the birth of boy 3, my 5 yr old cried wondering why ppl didnt like him bc he was a boy.

Would you be able to deal with that pp if it was a boy?
Hopefully society where you are isnt as mean but here ppl dont think a family can be happy with just one gender (sigh).
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Old 10-22-2011, 11:30 AM   #4
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Re: For those with multipe same gender kiddos :)

I would wait until delivery. We just did that with our 3rd and it was SO AWESOME not knowing if it was going to be a Logan (girl) or Cullen (boy)! The excitement just built so much!
And what was REALLY neat was we had our daughter (she was/is 5) in the delivery room (we had prepared her for MONTHS for what to expect or could see) and she announced that it was a boy! That was priceless!
If dh lets me have another, I will definately do it like this again and NOT find out the gender before hand. SO MUCH FUN!
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Old 10-22-2011, 11:38 AM   #5
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I would totally find out ahead of time. I know it's easy to think you'll be so wrapped up and excited in the birth that it won't matter, but it will to some degree. Especially if you start really thinking it could be your girl and are excited about a girl. At least if it's another boy, you have time for done retail therapy. I'm on boy #3, but I wanted either, so I wasn't disappointed at all. With boy #2, yeah, there was a little disappointment when I thought I saw a penis at 13 weeks... I was totally prepared for the official ultrasound to say boy and that made it so much easier on me.

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Old 10-22-2011, 01:47 PM   #6
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Re: For those with multipe same gender kiddos :)

If it were me I'd wait til birth. I'd be hard to feel dissapointment when you're holding your brand new baby for the first time Just my opinion. This is most likely our last baby and I've decided not to find out. I slightly prefer a girl, but I don't think I would necessarily feel disspointed if it were another boy.
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Old 10-22-2011, 02:19 PM   #7
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Re: For those with multipe same gender kiddos :)

I have twin girls; this time around, I decided I want it to be a surprise. I am not sure which sex I would want more this time. I really love girls and would love to have another, but I also want the boy experience. So I don't care what it is this time and I will try my hardest to not find out.
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Old 10-22-2011, 03:59 PM   #8
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Re: For those with multipe same gender kiddos :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigmamakelsey View Post
If it were me I'd wait til birth. I'd be hard to feel dissapointment when you're holding your brand new baby for the first time Just my opinion. This is most likely our last baby and I've decided not to find out. I slightly prefer a girl, but I don't think I would necessarily feel disspointed if it were another boy.
I agree with thois 100% You should more so wait until the day so then when you hear the gender you will be happy no matter what because you already fell in love with this baby.
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Old 10-22-2011, 04:39 PM   #9
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Re: For those with multipe same gender kiddos :)

I have 5 boys. This is my experience and opinion. When I was pregnant with my 4th, I was hoping for a girl (XH was reeaaaalllllllllyyyy hoping for a girl more!) and I felt that if we found out ahead of time, it *would* color how I/we felt. "time to get over disappointment" to me sounded horrible. Like, when you see a baby on a sono, it's not the same. You don't feel the connection you do when you hold them in your arms. So, not knowing the sex of my son until he was born worked for us. When we saw him, I couldn't have cared less that he wasn't a girl!
With my 5th, I swore up and down that it was a girl because my pregnancy was soooooooooooooo different. the boys wanted a sister, etc, etc. When my son was born, I barely even looked for boy or girl. I was so happy he was here......the hubs and kids said the same thing. It didn't matter to me at all.
So, I think if you find out before, you might have some disappointment to get over. If you don't find out, I don't think there is disappointment that crops up later. I have never once felt that with any of my boys. Do I hope this one is a girl? I don't care. If we never have a daughter, I will wonder what it would have been like to have a daughter, but that won't color any feelings I have for another son. Like, if I never get to go to the Bahamas on a cruise like I want to, but go back to WDW, will I have less fun at WDW? No. Idk if that makes sense. I understood it in my mind, lol.
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Old 10-22-2011, 05:26 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommymandy
So this is baby #3, and our last kiddo, we have 2 boys, and like most couples, we really want a girl. SO the problem we are having is, do we find out the gender during pregnancy or wait til delivery? With DS2 we had slight disappointment for a few days when we found out it was another boy (don't hate me) but obviously got over it and just became excited planning for his arrival. This time we were thinking of not fnding out so that there will b nothing but excitement at delivery... but I know I will secretly hope for a girl the whole pregnancy.... so after ALL my rambling, do you think it would be better to learn the gender before delivery so that if there is any disappointment, we will be over it? or do u think it will be easier to wait until the birth?

any input would be appreciated, thanks girls!
That is the reason I found out last time!! I wanted to be able to be over the disappointment and enjoy baby thoroughly!!
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