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Old 10-23-2011, 04:03 PM   #1
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**UPDATE!**Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

**Well baby boy is here and Im proud to say he is intact!
Dh and I did a lot of talking during the last couple months of pregnancy and he even did some research on his own. Im beyond thrilled about our mutual decision. Just had to share with someone. **

Im so nervous that this baby is a boy. I DO NOT want the baby circed and dh will not budge. The main issue now with him is that our 2 older boys are and he wants them to all "look the same". The reason they are is bc I didnt know any better back than and now that ive had a few years to research it I know that I do not want to have it done.

Any advice for me or dh??

Thanks

****SAD!***
What is male infant circumcision?

Male infant circumcision is a surgery that forcibly retracts and removes the prepuce (foreskin) of the penis. This is done by using specialized circumcision clamps, hemostats (sharp tipped needle nose pliers with locking clamps), blunt probes and sometimes plastic rings.

A first hand account of a circumcision seen for the first time as a nursing student.

"We students filed into the newborn nursery to find a baby strapped spread-eagle to a plastic board on a countertop across the room. He was struggling against his restraints - tugging, whimpering, and then crying helplessly. No one was tending the infant, but when I asked my instructor if I could comfort him, she said, "Wait till the doctor gets here."...When he did arrive, I immediately asked the doctor if I could help the baby. He told me to put my finger in the baby's mouth; I did, and the baby sucked. I stroked his little head and spoke softly to him. He began to relax and was momentarily quiet.

The silence was soon broken by a piercing scream - the baby's reaction to having his foreskin pinched and crushed as the doctor attached the clamp to his penis. The shriek intensified when the doctor inserted an instrument between the foreskin and the glans...tearing the two structures apart...The baby started shaking his head back and forth - the only part of his body free to move - as the doctor used another clamp to crush the foreskin lengthwise, which he then cut...The baby began to gasp and choke, breathless from his shrill continuous screams...I found my own sobs difficult to contain. How much longer could this go on?

During the next stage of the surgery, the doctor crushed the foreskin against the circumcision instrument and then, finally, amputated it. The baby was limp, exhausted and spent.
I had not been prepared, nothing could have prepared me, for this experience. To see a part of this baby's penis being cut off - without an anesthetic - was devastating. But even more shocking was the doctor's comments, barely audible several octaves below the piercing screams of the baby, "There is no medical reason for doing this." I couldn't believe my ears, my knees became weak, and I felt sick to my stomach..." Observe a circumcision before you decide.

Circumcisions are done with limited to no pain relief.

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Old 10-23-2011, 04:12 PM   #2
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

Pray for heart change, but ultimately trust your husband's judgment. This decision ate me up with my last lo--don't let it steal your joy of having a new blessing!...but I was right where you are, mama! You are not alone.
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Old 10-23-2011, 04:26 PM   #3
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

Im sorry but I am not going to "trust my husbands judgement" when I know more about the facts and procedure than he does. I am the mother!!!
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Old 10-23-2011, 04:40 PM   #4
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

Me and dh went through this exact this last time too. I didn't want it, he did. We were able to have a lot of discussions about it, about the facts, and why i didn't want it. I also got him to watch some u-tube videous about it.

He ended up doing extra research on his own as well. Ultimately for religious reasons he decided that it was necessary. It broke my heart, and we really did NOT agree. I refused to be in the room when it was done. Of course I went along, and was ready with mama milk the minute he was done.

In the end he actually didn't seem to be in that much pain. And my ped only did a partial or very loose circ, which made me as happy as could possibly be in the situation. Sorry you guys are facing this I totally understand. My advice is to get as much research into him as you can! There are some really great resources out there.
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Old 10-23-2011, 04:43 PM   #5
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

Both DH and my only son are both circ'd and I'm not for or against it, but after doing more research I became really convinced that it wasn't something I wanted to do for aesthetic reasons. DH had a really really hard time with this because he's been one of those "I like me the way I am" types and doesn't see the other side..so I just told him if he wanted to research it himself and convince me otherwise, I'd be happy to consider it, but unless he was willing to know more about it, his opinion of appearance sake, just didn't hold enough ground for me and it wasn't something I wanted to do again. Men will never have the same looking junk and so there really isn't any reason to make them matchy matchy.

In the end, its not something that needs to be done unless both people are on board.
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Old 10-23-2011, 05:07 PM   #6
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

My DH and both my sons are circ'd. I did leave it up to my DH because he is in the medical field and has many reasons why we went circ. My suggestion is however, to do lots of research share it with him, share your opinions and concerns. FYI neither one of my boys made a peep or seemed like they were in any pain for the procedure. You should also meet with the pediatrician who would do it and have him go over the steps and what takes place. Sorry you are in this situation. It sucks
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Old 10-23-2011, 06:00 PM   #7
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

I was with my 1st son when he had it done and he screamed horribly. I was also bawling. When second ds had it done I could not bring myself to go with him.

Both sons have had issues with retraction in the first year and the docs always just yanked it back causing pain and bleeding.

I just dont want it done. I dont see the reasons to have it. Dh's only reason is cause they will all look the same.
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Old 10-23-2011, 06:00 PM   #8
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

Quote:
Originally Posted by AleahDeann View Post
My DH and both my sons are circ'd. I did leave it up to my DH because he is in the medical field and has many reasons why we went circ. My suggestion is however, to do lots of research share it with him, share your opinions and concerns. FYI neither one of my boys made a peep or seemed like they were in any pain for the procedure. You should also meet with the pediatrician who would do it and have him go over the steps and what takes place. Sorry you are in this situation. It sucks
Can you share the reasons why you chose to do it? Thanks
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Old 10-23-2011, 07:27 PM   #9
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

I am right there with you mama My husband wants our boy circ'd, but it's not happening. The doctor is not going to do it unless YOU consent.

I'm a pediatric/nursery nurse and have assisted in circ's and believe me....the babies are in pain. We don't bring them back to the mama while they are crying! I actually refuse to assist with them anymore because I'm that against the process and I just can't take it.

It may cause some friction, but he will eventually get over it. It's absolutely not an option for my son.

Good luck
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Old 10-23-2011, 07:35 PM   #10
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Both my DS's are circ'd. Neither one cried or puckered up during the procedure and neither had issues afterwards. I hadn't even heard of it being "unpopular" till I got on here and saw heated debates about it.
I'm sorry you guys are on different sides of that fence. That always makes things stressful no matter what the situation. Hope you guys are able to work it out. Try not to stress too bad and take care of you and baby. Maybe it will be a GIRL!!!!!
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