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Old 10-24-2011, 12:04 PM   #21
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

The only reason a baby will go into shock from a circumcision is if they have extreme blood loss or get an infection that turns into sepsis. There is no medical evidence citing pain from circumcision causing infants to go into shock.
Maybe some information on what shock actually is can help clear this myth.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/000039.htm

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Old 10-24-2011, 12:20 PM   #22
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I am also hoping this a a girl for tye same reason. Ds was circed and he had adhesion we kept having to tear back every week or so for a year.

Apologizing in advance for iPhone typos/autocorrect
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Old 10-24-2011, 02:58 PM   #23
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

My DH and I went through that when we found out #2 was a boy. At first I didn't even think about it. I was just going to circ. since that is just what was done in my family (and DH's) Then when I actually started looking into it and found out why it was routinely done in the US and when it started (not too long ago actually!) I was horrified! There was no way I was going to subject my brand new perfect infant to RIC. We are not Jewish, so no need to do it a week or so after birth. So really, there was no need for it for medical or religious reasons. I talked to my DH about it and at first he was dead set on doing it. But I just kept bringing it up gently and would show him new research that I found. Once he realized that it isn't required for Christians (a common misunderstanding) why it was started in the US (to stop masturbation) and there is no health benefit, he realized the "Looks like daddy" argument was pretty stupid. He is now so happy that we didn't do it. I'm pretty sure DS is pretty happy as well! I'm glad we never had to deal with open wound care on an infant that is peeing all over his wound, never had to worry about adhesions, or more difficult cleaning than just wiping it off like a finger!

I hope you can have a good discussion with your DH and you can help him see why you don't want to do it. You can always have it done when your DS is older if he wants it, but you can never undo it.

Or you can just hope you have another girl!

Also just wanted to say, while I do feel very strongly on this subject, those who have circumcised boys, I'm not judging you at all - even my best friend's DS is circed. This post is mainly for the OP, so please don't be offended if I said something that seems harsh.
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Old 10-24-2011, 03:14 PM   #24
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

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some of them will not cry, because they go into shock, from the pain of it. and as a pp mentioned(a nurse), they will not bring them back crying, and are often told to tell the parents that he did well, didn't cry, etc. Nobody wants to hear that he shrieked the entire time, right?
I just wanted to say that we were with my sons when the procedure was done and I dont think any parent should send the baby back alone. That is heartbreaking.
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Old 10-24-2011, 03:28 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by AleahDeann

I just wanted to say that we were with my sons when the procedure was done and I dont think any parent should send the baby back alone. That is heartbreaking.
This this this! I'm really not trying to be a big meanie, but I think that if something like a circ is so important to people, that they should be present for the procedure to hold their baby's hand and comfort them. Not that it will ever happen, but I think mandatory parent attendance would cut the rate of circ-ing drastically. If DH wanted to circ and I told him he had to hold his son's hand during it, he would very quickly decide it isn't necessary!
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Old 10-24-2011, 03:37 PM   #26
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

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Can you share the reasons why you chose to do it? Thanks

Sure, My DH worked many years as a Medical Assistant in many locations through out many hospitals. In his years in the ER he saw many adult males coming in with infections and many with urethra's that had closed themselves due to lack of cleanliness and care of the foreskin. These men would then have to go to emergency surgery, have their foreskin removed and be in recovery for days to weeks depending on the severity.

He now works in a Pathology lab, where he receives samples and other body parts/skin pieces from different surgeries. Just in this last week there where 2 adult male circ's and one 12 year old.

Most men/young men dont realize there is an infection or issue until it is to late to be taken care of by medication and surgery is the only answer.

This is how we saw it. Yes we can teach our boys how to clean themselves, what to do to take care of their foreskin and how to properly take care of it to prevent infections and further problems. But how long are we going to be able to do that for before it becomes their responsibility to do it and care for themselves. I would expect my sons to continue to do what they need to , but I would never know for sure if they were. I wouldnt expect them as teenagers to show my DH that they are cleaning it correctly. My DH admits to going through a stage as a teenager where taking a shower was not something he wanted to do. He would go for days until his mom forced him to shower, but if he was uncirc'd he says he wouldnt have even bothered with care for it. He was lazy and didnt care at that age.

So for us the decision was do it now so there are no chance of issues later. I would hate for my sons to be circ'd as adults because they decided to not take care of it properly. As a mom you can only tell them so much, they have to act on it themselves. This was our choice, we get arguments against it and dont care. We did what was right for us and that is what every family should do.

Most people say there is no medically necessary reason to circ, and most doctors now will agree to this, and it is true, a properly cared for uncirc'd male should not have any issues at all.

So I am saying our medical reasons were personal and the choice is essentially yours. Its not that I did not have faith in my boys and that they would care for it properly, it was that as a mom if they didnt care for it, even after I taught them how important it was, and they had to have an adult circ, I would probably spend years apologizing and wishing I would have just done it to begin with, when they would have no memory of the pain, if any, and would recover easier.

Good luck with coming to an agreement.
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Old 10-24-2011, 08:44 PM   #27
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I am a nurse that works in well baby nursery. I have also worked in geriatrics. I am also torn on this issue bc while I have seen how terrible this procedure looks I have also seen how terrible it can be for someone so sick or old that is no longer able to take care of an uncircumcised penis. I see both sides so I too am very conflicted on this issue. I think that this is just one of those things you have to pray about ( if this is your belief) and have god lead you in the right direction for your family bc one decision may be right for you while another one right for others.
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Old 10-24-2011, 08:53 PM   #28
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I honestly did not know this whole circumcision debate was even a hot topic til reading on mommy message boards.

We chose to circ our son and if we have a boy he will be circ'ed. We are very happy with our decision.

My grandpa actually had a very strong conviction about this topic and he was very very pro-circ because he had been through a couple wars and seen a lot of uncirced penises that had infection problems that required surgery. I don't know if he personally was circumcised but he absolutely had a preference about it. IMO, it sounds like those guys were lazy or uneducated about their hygiene.

I totally respect any choice in the matter. The important thing is to be educated about both sides and not make a decision based on "stuff you have heard".

I am sorry you are both not agreeing...that is tough.

My only advice would be to not be pushy or naggy about it with your hubby, he will resist the more you say stuff about it. And chances are 50/50 you wont even have to make the decison.
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Old 10-24-2011, 09:04 PM   #29
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

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Originally Posted by LindsayVal*RN* View Post
I am a nurse that works in well baby nursery. I have also worked in geriatrics. I am also torn on this issue bc while I have seen how terrible this procedure looks I have also seen how terrible it can be for someone so sick or old that is no longer able to take care of an uncircumcised penis. I see both sides so I too am very conflicted on this issue. I think that this is just one of those things you have to pray about ( if this is your belief) and have god lead you in the right direction for your family bc one decision may be right for you while another one right for others.
My first comment was going to be you must be in the States.

I'm a nurse also and since I live and work in Canada most men aren't and the penile care is just as easy in both circ'ed and non-circed men.

I guess it has a lot to do with teaching and experience...
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Old 10-25-2011, 12:20 AM   #30
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Re: Do not want a boy because dh will not budge on the whole circ issue!

I have 3 sons that are circumsized, I was in the room with all three. I did pay the extra fee for penille blocks with all of them (it was around $250 I believe each and not covered by insurance). All three of them cried at being naked and initially being held down, however, not one of them cried during the actual circumsision, so I know that the penille block worked and they did not feel it. If you are going to have your son circumsized one I think it is worth it to pay for the penille block, and two with my twins the nurse had their upper body swaddled versus my oldest who was strapped down and that did seem to be more calming. Both of my twins only cried for the first 5 minutes of preparation time and being naked and then were fine. I held the cotton swab with sugar water on it and rubbed their heads the whole time. With the penille block I would say this was probably less traumatic or the same as when they got shots as babies.

My hubby didn't want any of our sons circumsized, but when I looked at on-line at pictures of how disgusting they look and read stories of how awful it is for a grown man to get circumsized, for personal cosmetic reasons I stood my ground on the issue. I do not feel like my sons were traumatized.

However, it is up to each family to decide, and I know that the statistic is 50/50 now, so girls of this generation probably won't be as grossed out by them as I am.

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