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Old 11-01-2011, 06:53 PM   #1
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Starting over..maybe

So I went all minimal in february. Every drawer, every closet, every space. I have a baby sitter who loves to shop. She pretty much thinks if it's on sale she has to buy it, and she does. Bags and bags of clothes, toys, even food ( that I don't feed my children normally, but she does while I'm working). Slowly it's a wreck. I feel overwhelmed and discouraged! Like I'm not ready to do this again, bc I don't want to deal w the whole drama thing of me giving stuff away- the sitter and my mom think I'm nuts and a bit cruel. Everything that comes on tv my dd wants, she is two!! My baby sitter cannot pathos why I'm not buying it for her, and why I say no to her buying it. It drives me insane!! My dd has eight purses, like 15 pairs of shoes + and this is all brought in by her. I'm really discouraged.

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Old 11-01-2011, 07:50 PM   #2
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Re: Starting over..maybe

Do you need a new babysitter? Your needs are important here. Even if you like her, she should not be making life harder for you.
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Old 11-01-2011, 07:52 PM   #3
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Re: Starting over..maybe

IMHO the babysitter is crossing the line. You need to sit her down and talk to her. You are her boss and she needs to respect your wishes. I am still in my first big purge and I can't imagine having to do it all over again in 9 months.
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Old 11-01-2011, 08:34 PM   #4
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I live in the middle of nowhere, so sitters are limited. I really have talked to her, over.and.over. I wonder if I said these are our beliefs, and just like a religion, I would not tolerate you pushing your religion on my child. NAME I'm really serious about this.

I don't know. She's really good with the kids. I'm going to have to say NO. When she brings stuff over, can I hand it back to her? And rather than saying, I don't want the children to have this food, say the children are not to have this food?
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Old 11-01-2011, 08:40 PM   #5
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Re: Starting over..maybe

I'm with the previous posters, I would start looking for a new sitter, or threaten a pay cut in the exact amount of money she is spending buying things for your children.
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Old 11-01-2011, 10:09 PM   #6
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Can you start by removing broadcast tv? We only watch movies or Netflix. That has helped a bunch for us. I would also send home anything the babysitter brings with her. They could play with it while she is watching them and must say good bye to it when she goes. That would include food, clothes, toys or whatever she might bring.
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Old 11-01-2011, 11:56 PM   #7
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Re: Starting over..maybe

I would say 'NO' and flat out tell her that if she brings it into the house, it is going right back out.
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Old 11-02-2011, 01:48 AM   #8
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Re: Starting over..maybe

I like what Jenette and Amber said- about if it comes in with her, it goes back out. As far as her bringing both food AND toys (and clothes?)- well, which is the bigger battle? How often does she baby-sit that the food would be a big problem? Once a day? Once a week?

Also, and this is going to sound critical of you, and I don't mean it to be as mean as it will sound, but if you stay on top of stuff, it won't get out of control. One in, one out rule; weekly sweep and purge (do a quick run-through of your house with a big basket or bag and fill it with stuff to get rid of); etc. Houses with kids don't stay clean and clutter free on their own. We have to stay on top of them. Does it get tiring? Occasionally. But you would rather do 5 minutes a day/week or several weeks every year? I'd rather do a few minutes every day, personally.
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Old 11-02-2011, 03:57 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by newwife777
I like what Jenette and Amber said- about if it comes in with her, it goes back out. As far as her bringing both food AND toys (and clothes?)- well, which is the bigger battle? How often does she baby-sit that the food would be a big problem? Once a day? Once a week?

Also, and this is going to sound critical of you, and I don't mean it to be as mean as it will sound, but if you stay on top of stuff, it won't get out of control. One in, one out rule; weekly sweep and purge (do a quick run-through of your house with a big basket or bag and fill it with stuff to get rid of); etc. Houses with kids don't stay clean and clutter free on their own. We have to stay on top of them. Does it get tiring? Occasionally. But you would rather do 5 minutes a day/week or several weeks every year? I'd rather do a few minutes every day, personally.


Shes here every sat and Sunday. 10+ hours a day. I am gone to work 16 hours each day.
The food is annoying bc they get junk, and I feel like I have to super healthy w their diet the rest of the week because they get so much junk on the weekends. I think it's the little things that drive me insane (not to mention the big chair she brought) the McDonalds toys, the bags, braclets, cups...she thinks my children are deprived so she brings stuff. The clothes, oh my at the clothes. And my dd loves to dress nice, so it makes it even harder.

Yes, it did sound mean reading it, and I had to walk away and process what you said with an open mind. You are right, I ve hardly thrown anything out since August. I think that was my last big purge. It caused such emotional turmoil w her, my mom, and a bit w my husband; I was afraid: maybe they were right, kwim?

Network tv: I freakin wish we would get rid of it! My dh likes to watch the races on Sunday: that's his thing. He works hard and that's his day to unwind. We talked about it, and he didn't want to give that up: I get that. If anyone knows of a way to get that, please let me know. And if you have any links to how I get Netflix on my tv I'd love to read them. I'm a bit behind on technology.
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Old 11-02-2011, 03:59 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by Jenette
Can you start by removing broadcast tv? We only watch movies or Netflix. That has helped a bunch for us. I would also send home anything the babysitter brings with her. They could play with it while she is watching them and must say good bye to it when she goes. That would include food, clothes, toys or whatever she might bring.
This is a very good idea. Every weekend I could gather what she brought the weekend before and have it ready for her. I leave at 5, home at 930pm and she gets here at 8 am and leaves at 6 pm: so I don't see her on the weekend.
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