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Old 11-02-2011, 12:28 AM   #1
ColaCakesInn
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homebirth at in-laws

Because of circumstances, my husband and I are living with his parents. I'm pregnant with our first and due in July and really want a home birth and don't want it any other way. My question is: do you think it's too much to ask (demand ) to give birth in their home? MIL has already asked if I've found an OB so clearly she's on that side of the fence. Haven't broken this news to her yet.

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Old 11-02-2011, 12:38 AM   #2
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Re: homebirth at in-laws

I would take MIL to a midwife appointment with you, pleasently explain you've always dreamed of a homebirth and if they aren't willing I would either ask a supportive friend to use their place or birth center. Also have your husband ask/demand and make it clear to them it is what HE wants as well. Parents tend to give in to the wishes of their own children over their daughter/son in-law.
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Old 11-02-2011, 02:38 AM   #3
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Re: homebirth at in-laws

Your MIL may not be in the OB camp necessarily. It just may be that it's just what she's used to and hasn't had a chance to consider other options. Just present it to them with lots of research but be prepared with a back-up plan if they say no.
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Old 11-02-2011, 08:07 AM   #4
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We are having our homebirth at my MIL's house, I have asked and that is ok but I do plan on asking her not to be there (hide). I just know she would be crazy, she tells me to take dd to the doctor for a diaper rash and runny nose. We are buying her house about a month after the birth though so that is why we want to have the baby there, plus the place we rent now if tiny!
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Old 11-02-2011, 09:06 AM   #5
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Re: homebirth at in-laws

I agree with above. I think if you explain what you want and ask her to go to see the midwife with you it might be just fine. I would hesitate to "demand" because that might damage the relationship for the future. Your best friend's house could maybe be an alternative or a home birthing center if there's one in your town?
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Old 11-02-2011, 10:42 AM   #6
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I say just talk to her. She may be totally fine with a homebirth. However, she may not be interested in you doing it at her house, and that is totally her say as will. I don't think demanding anything is going to make a difference.

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Old 11-02-2011, 02:36 PM   #7
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Re: homebirth at in-laws

There's no harm in asking. Worst she can do is say no, right? Just keep in mind that it is their home and they have every right to decline your request. I'd love to help a friend or family member with their homebirth but not in my own living room, kwim?
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Old 11-02-2011, 03:19 PM   #8
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Re: homebirth at in-laws

I would ask and tell her why I wanted to, but if she wasn't comfortable with the idea I'd find an alternative, it is her home afterall. Not only that, if she's around during the birth and not feeling comfortable with it it could negatively impact your labor. I know my midwife has a birthing area set up in her home, and so did my mother's HB midwife, so if you find a midwife you liked you could ask if she does home births at her home.
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Old 11-02-2011, 08:48 PM   #9
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Re: homebirth at in-laws

If your MIL says no could you plan to get a room at a hotel when labor starts?
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Old 11-02-2011, 10:33 PM   #10
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Re: homebirth at in-laws

If it were me, I would go for a birth center. You can have pretty much most of the comforts of home but not in somebody else's house. I wouldn't feel comfortable asking anybody to do it in their home, personally.
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