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Old 11-05-2011, 09:26 PM   #1
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The reality of having a baby is starting to sink in

and all I can think is "oh crap". I'm so not ready for this, I don't think I'll be ready in March either. Sleepless nights, the crying, teething, the crying, umpteen diaper changes (as many in the middle of the night as during the day), night feedings, the crying, the poop, the crying. Did I mention the crying? While I may have been frustrated at times, Gman really was an easy baby-there is no way I will get that lucky again. Having a baby or pump attached to my boobs, wearing the baby just to get through my day, those first few months of sleepless nights-and having to do it this time w/ a preschooler who will need my attention, work, possibly school too. I'm freaking out man, freaking out!!! WTF have I gotten myself into?

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Old 11-05-2011, 10:23 PM   #2
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Re: The reality of having a baby is starting to sink in

Hmm. Maybe you'll have another easy one? Once I discovered nursing on demand, anytime, the crying became a lot less, and babywearing helped also. We coslept and I never had to change a diaper at night with Claire. She actually got mad if I tried to! I honestly had no sleepless nights.

I am finding the toddler stage more of a challenge, personally.
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Old 11-06-2011, 05:48 AM   #3
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You're not alone.
I think we all have moments that creep up like that.
I love that DS is so independent now, sleeps through the night, doesn't cry every time he poops or needs a drink, etc, and I'm really nervous about dealing with all of that again, BUT I know I (and you!) will adjust and figure out a new rhythm.

At least we have a better idea of what to expect the second time around, right?
Before DS was born I was so blissfully ignorant. I had no idea what having a newborn would actually be like, so when he came it rocked my world. They don't just immediately go to sleep when you lay them down? He wants my bleeding, cracked nipples every 90 minutes? Why can't he just fart and shut the heck up?!

I don't have any illusions that it'll be a cake walk this time around, but I feel better knowing I'm not going to be completely surprised.

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Old 11-06-2011, 06:24 AM   #4
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Re: The reality of having a baby is starting to sink in

Imagine how I feel, having had a very colicy baby. He cried all the time. He was such a bad baby that DH said he NEVER wanted any more. I LOVE the age he is at now! He's easy to teach, he's learning so much. It has its challenges, but Im so much more familiar with this process (I grew up a dog trainer, competing in events, and training a child in many ways can be similar - not in all the methods, but in theory - all mammals learn through the Learning Theory!).

I'm both excited and terrified to go back to the infant stage. Excited, because I do have SOME hope that I might get an easy baby. And just because DS is older, not a baby, and this is our last and only chance to do this on our own (we were living with family when we had DS and it was MISERABLE - my baby was always taken away from me and although I WANTED to parent, I wans't always allowed). Terrified because I realize I might get another colic one. At least colic doesn't last forever. I'll just have to suffer through the first 3-4 months. (But the same was for pregnancy, NEVER want to be pregnant again considering 10 weeks of ALL DAY sickness!)

Did I mention, I cannot handle ANY crying at all. The sound of any crying makes me want to grit my teeth, pulll my hair out, and scream. I cannot stand to hear the sound. It literally drives me to insanity. And if this baby is colic, I know DH will be stuck with a lot of the crying duties again, for baby's safety.
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Old 11-06-2011, 07:13 AM   #5
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Re: The reality of having a baby is starting to sink in

You are so not alone on this one! Nolan was NOT an easy baby at all! He had reflux so bad he was at the ER at 1 week old for projectile vomiting, we couldn't nurse because we had to try hundreds of formula for the reflux, no medications worked, he screamed ALL.THE.TIME and was generally an unhappy baby... PLUS this mommy got PPD really bad and had a hard time with sending him to daycare.

It was an awful time! Not going to lie - I am dreading another baby like DS!!!
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Old 11-06-2011, 07:26 AM   #6
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Re: The reality of having a baby is starting to sink in

I with you. I will have 3 babies 4yo and under and it really makes me nervous. My first was an awesome baby turned very independent, defiant toddler. Our second was a very high needs baby turned very mellow toddler so far. So I'm just hoping for a compromise at this point, lol. If I can stress anything it's routine, routine, routine. It's been my lifesaver.
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Old 11-06-2011, 07:52 AM   #7
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Re: The reality of having a baby is starting to sink in

Oooh did I mention how terrified I am about nursing?? It was awful the first time around (bloody nipples, cracking, sore, make me cry every time he latched and I started resenting him for wanting to eat!) I'm terrified since this is our last (according to DH) that I won't be able to nurse this time either and I will miss out on that connection!
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Old 11-06-2011, 08:11 AM   #8
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Re: The reality of having a baby is starting to sink in

Quote:
Originally Posted by KaylaJayne View Post
Oooh did I mention how terrified I am about nursing?? It was awful the first time around (bloody nipples, cracking, sore, make me cry every time he latched and I started resenting him for wanting to eat!) I'm terrified since this is our last (according to DH) that I won't be able to nurse this time either and I will miss out on that connection!
DDC!

You are not alone on the terror of having another, and it seems to be pretty normal IMO. I wonder a lot of the time how I am going to manage I'm sure we will all be just fine!

But I wanted to say to your comment on the breastfeeding- cracked, sore, bloody nipples is not a normal part of breastfeeding. Some tenderness is normal in the first few weeks, but true nipple damage is absolutely not okay and needs to be looked at and whatever is causing it needs to be fixed. You shouldn't have had to be in that much pain
My advice is to attend a La Leche League meeting or two (even before baby is born) or see a lactation consultant if you don't want to/can't go to a meeting and have that issue again. And definitely pick up a breastfeeding book, if you don't have one already, so that you have some ideas on how to correct positioning and latch if you start having pain during nursing Womanly Art of Breastfeeding came out with a new addition last year and I just finished reading it and learned a lot of new positions and latch techniques I wasn't aware of!

I hope you have a smooth experience with your new babe and enjoy that wonderful connection
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Old 11-06-2011, 12:11 PM   #9
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Re: The reality of having a baby is starting to sink in

Well it's a relief to know I'm not alone. When I was pregnant w/ Gman, I expected the absolute worst first year you could have from a healthy baby. Colic constantly and all that, that when he turned out to be so easy it was a huge relief. I really think there is no way that I'll get that lucky again, seeing as every kids is so different. Hopefully we'll all get nice, healthy, easy going babies.
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Old 11-06-2011, 01:21 PM   #10
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Re: The reality of having a baby is starting to sink in

I'm DDC too because... Oh, mama... I feel the same way some days! I've hoping that those mama love hormones will really kick in like last time, only I need them to last a couple months. I love holding newborn, infants. But you're right about crying, nursing, pooping, laundry, crying, and then a preschooler too, mine will be just barely 3. I can't wait to be a grandma! Hold baby, baby cries and I give baby back

Squig is so right about the BF. I had the same issues plus thrush and mastitis, and once I had both at the same time. I remember praying that baby would go to sleep with bouncing and stay asleep for at least an hour so boobies could rest. Speaking with a lactation consultant was a huge help for us to continue nursing, both the advice and the encouragement.
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