Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-26-2011, 11:25 AM   #1
jbug_4's Avatar
jbug_4
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chase, MI
Posts: 6,762
My Mood:
Does anyone feel guilty?

I feel guilty about limiting Christmas presents. When I was young, if my parents had the money they gave me everything. I had tons of stuff for Christmas and my stocking was always filled to overflowing. I find myself feeling guilty because we are limiting the presents. we're pretty much doing 1 bigger item and 1 smaller item from us and 1 gift from Santa plus a half filled stocking for dd (ds is 1 and only getting 2 things in his stocking). I feel guilty because we can afford to get them more, but are choosing not to. It just really reminds me of my mother defending her spoiling of me- She went through a lot to have me and I am a only child. When people told her she was going to spoil me she always said she didn't go through all that trouble to have me just to mistreat me. If she could afford it I would always have everything I wanted. I know I am not mistreating my kids, I just can't get that out of my mind. I want them to have everything they want.

We decided before having kids that we weren't going to go crazy with gifts- we didn't want them to feel entitled. So much harder to put that in practice- especially since we have the money to buy so much more for them. And this year we really decided to reduce the presents because we are "cleaning house" and getting rid of all of the clutter. Dh says he doesn't feel guilty at all, he looks at it as not teaching them to be so commercial, that they don;t need to spend every dime they have and that they don't have to have everything to be happy. I agree, but can't shake the guilt.

Anybody else? How do you deal with it? Reason it to your self?

Advertisement

__________________
SAHM to LR 7/26/07 and IHM 10/6/10, wife to a self proclaimed genius, ex-navy guy. Going places and doing things that I always dreamed of, but never imagined I would.
jbug_4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2011, 11:34 AM   #2
Fashionably Green Baby's Avatar
Fashionably Green Baby
Registered Users
Formerly: artistmom
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Indiana
Posts: 7,498
My Mood:
Re: Does anyone feel guilty?

Well I don't have the guilt because I think it is a huge disservice to children to buy them everything they want. I have the same mindset as your husband but I can understand why you would feel guilty. I think the more the years go by the easier it will be. Teaching kids that they do not need to spend every cent they have is a lesson that it seems many kids don't get and I think you are doing a great thing for you kids by buying less and spending more quality time.
__________________
Britney
Mom of 4 little munchkins

Swag with me! 10% off at my HC store with code: diaperswappers
Fashionably Green Baby is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2011, 11:35 AM   #3
kate-nicole's Avatar
kate-nicole
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Hessmer, La
Posts: 102
I think it's a good idea actually. It would be nice not to have to spend alot and I remember only getting one big gift, the one I really wanted, and then just some little cheap toys and clothes. And the big gift is all I really remember getting anyway! Dd will be a little over 2 months for Christmas so I only for her one big gift, and some clothes.
kate-nicole is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2011, 11:37 AM   #4
kate-nicole's Avatar
kate-nicole
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Hessmer, La
Posts: 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fashionably Green Baby
Well I don't have the guilt because I think it is a huge disservice to children to buy them everything they want. I have the same mindset as your husband but I can understand why you would feel guilty. I think the more the years go by the easier it will be. Teaching kids that they do not need to spend every cent they have is a lesson that it seems many kids don't get and I think you are doing a great thing for you kids by buying less and spending more quality time.
My dad would tell me every Christmas that all he would get for Christmas was oranges and apples in his stocking and sometimes a wooden toy.
kate-nicole is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2011, 12:02 PM   #5
crunch!910's Avatar
crunch!910
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,208
Re: Does anyone feel guilty?

Some years we had lots of presents, most years not. I felt sad sometimes or jealous hearing about kids at school having so much better, more expensive presents, but I always knew they were really bratty and that I'd rather be me and poor then spoiled and act like them. I was a smart kid.

First birthday and first Christmas for DS we went a little crazy getting him like 4+ presents. This Christmas DS is getting 1-2 presents, and a stocking. That's it. I don't feel guilty at all. I feel proud. I hope my example will teach my children how to properly handle, save, and spend money in a responsible way, just like my mom taught me. When I see people in credit card debt over Christmas presents, it just boggles my mind.

Besides... my son has TOO MANY toys as it is! Before Christmas, we are going through them all and he is going to be asked to donate some. You don't get new, without donating some of what you already to have to less fortunate kids, is what we want to teach. (That, and I hate all the toy clutter!)
__________________
Mommy to M (9/09) & G (4/12) & expecting Feb 2014
crunch!910 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2011, 12:25 PM   #6
themamageek
Registered Users
sitesupporter
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 5,884
Re: Does anyone feel guilty?

My mom feels like I mistreat my son because I don't give him 10-15 gifts under the tree. She's very much a dollar store shopper, and probably also thinks I'm being cheap. What she doesn't get is that the $20 Wii game he's been begging for is going to make him happier than 15 pieces of crap that will break or possibly make him sick (from the paint).

I believe in quality over quantity, personally. It doesn't even have to cost more, since I'm a deal shopper.
themamageek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2011, 05:55 PM   #7
flynnsmom's Avatar
flynnsmom
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: In my garden
Posts: 1,919
My Mood:
Re: Does anyone feel guilty?

I don't feel guilty at all. I feel good that I am teaching him not to buy into consumerism which destroys our Earth and exploits humans who are less fortunate for cheap labor. My family gets him a ton of stuff, and I feel guilty that they get him so much!
__________________
Surfing, gardening, yoga loving mom, and wife to an amazing man!
flynnsmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2011, 06:01 PM   #8
MotherMoonPads's Avatar
MotherMoonPads
Formerly: KeepYourBabyClose
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Medford, Oregon
Posts: 20,638
My Mood:
Re: Does anyone feel guilty?

I don't feel guilty at all. My Christmases as a child were huge, like fill the entire room with so many toys you couldn't walk in it type huge. My mom was never there though, so she overcompensated with presents. I would rather give my children my presence than presents.
__________________
Denelle, WAHM to Gwen (17) Z (17)Ezekiel (6) Eleanor (my homebirth baby is now 4!)
MotherMoonPads Reusable Cloth Menstrual Pads, Restocking Daily, Quick Shipping!
Saving your body & the Earth, One cycle at a time
MotherMoonPads is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2011, 08:17 PM   #9
nannabean's Avatar
nannabean
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 782
My Mood:
I understand. Although I don't feel guilty about Christmas, I feel guilty asking them to clear out the junk cluttering their rooms. My daughter especially associates things with memories and I can't figure out a way to work around it.
__________________
Me a cosleeping, cloth diapering, reading, , planting, loving, sewing, happpy momma to 4& working towards my Bachelors and wife to one.
nannabean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2011, 08:37 PM   #10
samwise's Avatar
samwise
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 150
My Mood:
Re: Does anyone feel guilty?

Not really. DS is only 18 months though so, maybe when he gets older i might have a harder time with it. He is getting one present from "santa" and one from us. And probably a toothbrush and an orange in his stocking....I actually wish that was all he was getting for Christmas. He has 3 sets of grandparents, 9 aunts/uncles and great grandparents. It ends up being way excessive.
samwise is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.