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Old 12-06-2011, 10:48 PM   #1
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Christmas gifts from my dad- wwyd?

I told my dad to stop giving gifts to us. He is a terrible dad and grandpa. He doesn't care about us a bit, but sends a big Christmas gift to each kid to appease his conscience.

In September I told him that unless he is going to actually BE a dad and gpa that he can't give us gifts to make himself feel better anymore. We haven't spoken since.

Well, my sis told me tonight that he sent each kid a really big, obnoxious toy already.

#1- I may sound mean, but he has always been a bad dad but I always smile and say nothing and I thought that refusing the gifts would finally let him know he can't treat me so poorly anymore.

#2- We are moving in June and the enormous ride-on stuffed horse he's sent my 2yo makes me want to scream.

#3- I'm not going to tell the kids who the gifts are from if I keep them, but I may just donate them and avoid that.

WWYD?

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Old 12-06-2011, 11:16 PM   #2
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Re: Christmas gifts from my dad- wwyd?

My mother isn't terrible, but not fantastic either so I kind of understand where you are coming from. I'd probably craigslist them and use that money for something fun (a day at the movies, a lunch out with the kids, etc.). Stuff we normally can't afford to do more than a few times a year. They don't need to know that he sent stuff or who it's from if you keep it. Why make them confused about this if it can be avoided?
Do what you feel most comfortable with.
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Old 12-07-2011, 04:47 AM   #3
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Re: Christmas gifts from my dad- wwyd?

Does he mail them? I'd go the return to sender route.
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Old 12-07-2011, 05:23 AM   #4
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Re: Christmas gifts from my dad- wwyd?

I'd return them and put the money into their college funds.
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Old 12-07-2011, 05:45 AM   #5
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I would donate them to toys for tots.

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Old 12-07-2011, 06:08 AM   #6
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Re: Christmas gifts from my dad- wwyd?

Just donate them rit away with out your kids even seeing them.
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Old 12-07-2011, 06:46 AM   #7
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Re: Christmas gifts from my dad- wwyd?

Quote:
Originally Posted by angelisagemini View Post
Does he mail them? I'd go the return to sender route.
I was going to say this. If your goal is to be heard then you need to really say something KWIM?
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Old 12-07-2011, 07:16 AM   #8
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Re: Christmas gifts from my dad- wwyd?

If you want to send him a clear message...Return to sender and a follow up letter to him reiterating what you said previously.

If you need the $$, return them to the store, sight unseen by the kids, and use the $$. Again, a follow up letter saying, I returned your gifts and we went to the movies, because in our family, being together is much more important that any thing!
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Old 12-07-2011, 07:54 AM   #9
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Re: Christmas gifts from my dad- wwyd?

I would donate them so some positive comes from his screwups.
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Old 12-07-2011, 08:04 AM   #10
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Re: Christmas gifts from my dad- wwyd?

My mother is the same way, and actually disowned the family and is now regretting it, trying to buy her way back in for crappy choices. Anyway, what I did was donate toys. Then she sent checks which I never cashed. And now she just donates to local charities in the names of the girls, most often the ones that feed families. I'm fine with that.
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