Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-07-2011, 04:42 PM   #1
LinnyLou02's Avatar
LinnyLou02
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Fort Worth
Posts: 146
Christmas Gift Vent Argh!

Just spoke to mil (who mind you I had a convo with about getting dd only 1 pre-decided gift) and she informed me she did get the gift I asked her to get AND another just like it AND a talking "laugh and learn" puppy (which dd already has the leap frog violet dog). I understand she is a hoarder, but I thought we had cleared this up a week ago when I told her I don't want too many gifts and she agreed!

Second vent...my mom. She bought dd one gift and I told her that is plenty and she can just take dd to the zoo and spend time with her. She sounded like I stole her dog/ruined Christmas when I politely told her that. She (and my dad) buy my sisters kids a TON of gifts every year, but I told them we don't want too many toys, don't have room (1 bdr apt) and don't want them to spend money they don't have (they support my brother and sister-another story). My mom agreed to this just like MIL but just informed me she is sending more gifts. Oh my goodness!

Vent over thanks for listening!

Advertisement

LinnyLou02 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2011, 07:01 PM   #2
OurAllenBaby
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NC
Posts: 1,976
My Mood:
Re: Christmas Gift Vent Argh!

LOL, It happens!

I know Christmas time is frustrating when we are trying to keep things simple in our homes, but sounds like the grandparents just want the opportunity to spoil the kids. Use the gifts as long as your daughter is interested in them and then give them to a family in need.
With 3 sets of grandparents (parents divorced/remarried) I am really hoping that we don't end up feeling claustrophobic in our house!
__________________
Proud mama -July '08 and April '10 my and EDD 3/31/14
OurAllenBaby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2011, 07:38 PM   #3
babykp08
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Northwest, Ohio
Posts: 212
Re: Christmas Gift Vent Argh!

I get it! My MIL is the queen of terrible, cheap gifts in mass quantities. It's frustrating. How old is your DD? When DS1 was little things would just disappear (aka, I'd donate them to goodwill) and he'd never notice. Now that he's a little older it is more challenging, but I can still donate the little boys stuff without them noticing. This year we've been talking to all the boys about how they will be receiving new toys for Christmas so they need to make room for them. This has motivated them to donate lesser used items to others who need them more. Best of luck, I Hope you find a practical solution!
babykp08 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2011, 09:06 PM   #4
LinnyLou02's Avatar
LinnyLou02
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Fort Worth
Posts: 146
Thanks for your responses! It helps to hear what others do and to know I'm not alone
LinnyLou02 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2011, 10:48 PM   #5
jemilyon's Avatar
jemilyon
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: IL
Posts: 2,157
Re: Christmas Gift Vent Argh!

I have this issue with my mil. I don't ask her to stop b/c I understand that, to her, giving gifts means "I love you". It really, truly does. How do I stop grandma from showing love her way to my kids (even though everything in my screams "NOOOO MOOOORE!")?
Sometimes I get concerned with how her gift giving will influence my children, but then I realize dh and I are the biggest influence in their lives and we are not like that. We spend time with them to show our love, so hopefully they will catch more of that than passing along material possessions.
Instead I just re-gift, sell, give away, or trade whatever I don't want!! LOL Same with the gifts she gives me.
__________________
Emily, wife to Jon and mama to Joshua (11/05), Gianna (5/10), and Isaiah!
Baby 4 coming in May!
jemilyon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2011, 11:18 PM   #6
L J's Avatar
L J
Gazelle Intense
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Sweet Home Alabama
Posts: 10,272
We have always had this problem with extended family, too.

They buy a bunch of junk every year, and every year we take it back to Walmart.

My ds is almost five, and he has it down this year. He told me yesterday that when we take it all back he would like to use the money to go to the science museum about two hours away. I died laughing, because he brought it up, but agreed.

Walmart puts the money for returns on a gift card, but I will happily keep it for essentials and give him money to do something fun.

He is a pro at thanking people graciously but taking nothing out of the packaging. Train them early.
__________________
Laura, mama to Henry 01.28.07; Catherine 09.01.11
always missing Jack, 08.23.10
& newest addition Audrey, 04.15.14
L J is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 04:19 AM   #7
pgkcb13's Avatar
pgkcb13
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Wa. State
Posts: 3,872
My Mood:
Re: Christmas Gift Vent Argh!

Quote:
Originally Posted by L J View Post
We have always had this problem with extended family, too.

They buy a bunch of junk every year, and every year we take it back to Walmart.

My ds is almost five, and he has it down this year. He told me yesterday that when we take it all back he would like to use the money to go to the science museum about two hours away. I died laughing, because he brought it up, but agreed.

Walmart puts the money for returns on a gift card, but I will happily keep it for essentials and give him money to do something fun.

He is a pro at thanking people graciously but taking nothing out of the packaging. Train them early.
That is hilarious! I bet my daughters will end up like that too, lol.

We definitely have this problem. I sent out a very thoughtfully composed message well in advance requesting just one gift, or better yet experience gifts and even offering a wish list of fun school supplies that would be good useful gifts... both grandmas 'lost' the email when I brought it up a few weeks ago they acted like they had no idea what I was talking about. So then we went over it verbally... in one ear and out the other I swear. The only thing either of them retained was that 'stuff stresses ME out' so now I'm just depriving my children because I don't want the stress of picking up after them My MIL went so far as to call me from the toy store, explain at least five things she has for ODD and at least three things she has for YDD and then ask if some other things would be okay with me (since I'm such an evil mom and don't allow toxic toys). When I tried to politely point out that they didn't need anything else, no matter how wonderful it might be, she got all upset because she'd already bought the things!! Why are you asking if it's okay then!?!? She also went on to say that she has to get them 'something' because 'that's what christmas is about, that's the fun of christmas'. OMG. Seriously? Do you hear yourself? This woman is a social worker with a masters in psychology... you'd think she'd be above that kind of attitude but nope... and what about the whole list of things you said you already had for them? That doesn't count as 'something'? Madness. She did this with ODD's 2nd birthday too. 'Oh I just got her the one thing... and this other thing... and I picked up this because it was just so cute...' 8 gifts later... Oi.

My mom swears she only got the girls the one big gift this year and that she put everything else on ebay to re-sell but I somehow seriously doubt it. My mom actually gave ODD a stocking bigger than her filled with gifts AS one of her gifts last year b/c I asked her to keep it to three gifts...

I have no idea how to stop it really, I just hope to teach my girls that there are more important things in life and that we can show our love in other ways and that we don't need to hold on to a bunch of crap just because someone we love gave it to us...

*whew* sorry OP, my rant is way longer than yours it's a bit of a sensitive subject for me... both mothers have boundary issues when it comes to my kids and how they are parented and it drives me batty... I think it's over-correcting because their mother's weren't very helpful in raising the kids, for one reason or another...
__________________
~Kory~
Wife to my best friend; Mama to Beetle 3/12/09, Tiny 7/22/11, and Nugget 4/5/13
CDing, BWing, BFing, ERFing, Non-Vaxing, Co-Sleeping, Crunchy, Thrifty, SAHM!
ISO Gypsum Keens in Kids size 12
pgkcb13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 07:45 AM   #8
jemilyon's Avatar
jemilyon
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: IL
Posts: 2,157
Re: Christmas Gift Vent Argh!

Quote:
Originally Posted by L J View Post
He is a pro at thanking people graciously but taking nothing out of the packaging. Train them early.
LOL! Everyone knows to consult with me before taking things out of the packaging I remember in the earlier years of our marriage DH got angry with me and thought it was rude, but now he totally gets it!
__________________
Emily, wife to Jon and mama to Joshua (11/05), Gianna (5/10), and Isaiah!
Baby 4 coming in May!
jemilyon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 07:52 AM   #9
blossomgoat's Avatar
blossomgoat
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 4,242
My Mood:
Re: Christmas Gift Vent Argh!

It's the perfect opportunity to teach generosity and giving at Christmas. If there are too many toys, we either return them or pick a charity to donate them to. As the kids get older, we'll let them have a say in which toy they keep and which ones they donate. We certainly can't keep all that gets sent our way, what with december birthday, Christmas, and a February birtday.
__________________
Nancy In love with my DH since 2003, mama to one fabulous kindergartener and one amazing preschooler.
My Ravelry My blog
blossomgoat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 09:57 AM   #10
booth2490
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 977
Re: Christmas Gift Vent Argh!

Sorry, mama

I just found out last weekend from SIL that my MIL keeps buying DD toys/gifts b/c she wants to find the perfect gift that will make DD's eye's light up, or something. Her eyes will probably glaze over after being overwhelmed with all those things. I understand wanting to spoil your grandkid, but I hope she doesn't get disappointed if DD doesn't respond the way MIL expects. At her birthday last summer, she got mad that we took away a toy from her to open the rest.
__________________
Amy, wife to J since 2001, mom to S since 7/09 and E 5/12.
booth2490 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.