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Old 06-29-2012, 09:51 PM   #1
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Second time and Scared!

I'm due to have my second baby any day now. My first son was born at home, assisted by my fabulous midwife two years ago, with no complications and no medications. We moved between states mid-pregnancy, and decided to have our second child at a hospital birth center. I've met the group of 6 midwives who work there, and they all seem wonderful. But, I keep remembering during labor how bad it hurt and thinking to myself "I wish I were at a hospital so I could just get the stinking epidural!"

I don't know what I'm scared of - that it's going to hurt, that I'll cave in to the pain and ask for medication. I don't really know, but while I play the waiting game, I find myself also just feeling really nervous about giving birth.

Just hoping for some words of encouragement, and hoping that once labor begins the adrenaline will just kick in, too!

Thanks (:


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Old 06-29-2012, 10:04 PM   #2
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Re: Second time and Scared!

Just remember "you can do it!" You could look into hiring a Doula for extra support, reminders, and to help you think through interventions when the time comes. Or you could write yourself a note to take to the hospital with you. Seeing your wishes written down in your own handwriting could be very powerful when you are tempted. No matter what happens the baby WILL come out and be just fine. Hugs!
Momma to Grace02/08 and Zander 09/12 (unmedicated VBAC!) all vegetarian, cloth diapered, non-vax'd, intact, co-slept and breastfed.
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Old 06-29-2012, 10:12 PM   #3
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Re: Second time and Scared!

Adrenaline kicks in! I was so scared when I was getting ready to have DS (a year ago time really goes to fast) Anyway, I remember being so scared and I started having contractions the night before after cleaning like a mad woman and at 2 a.m. I woke up and grabbed DH's arm on accident b/c I had a sharp pain and it woke me up. I went to the hospital around 10 that morning. Between the time I woke up and got to the hospital, I wasn't scared anymore. I was relieved to be finally getting to be able to just have the baby and get it over with. I did not like being preggo the last 3 months. Adrenaline kicks in. I was ready and didn't even noticed the pain as much as soon as it was time to push. I mean yeah it hurts but it's more pressure than anything and as soon as the baby is born you don't even remember anything you went through until the stitches start to itch and burn (if you get any...I had them b/c I'm a very small person, ESPECIALLY down there and DS was big). Mama senses kick in though and your body takes over and does it's job. It's really so cool how our bodies work!
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Old 06-29-2012, 10:45 PM   #4
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Re: Second time and Scared!

I know its scary with the second one because you have something to remember from the first.
Just remember that your body is built to do this (give birth). Since you had a home birth without meds you know what every stage of labor feels like. (I had an epidural with my first and with my second I had no drugs, until the very end, so I had trouble with knowing when my body was ready to push etc...) This is a big plus I think.
The one piece of advice I would give is to not be too rigid with your birth plan. If you have an epidural at some point you are not a failure, if you have to get a c-section in the end, you still have your baby and are OK!
Make your wishes know to the staff and your support person, but know when to be flexible a little
You are going to do great!
Annabelle 01/18/05, Isabelle 07/24/08 Angel baby 10/7/11 Aaron 12/11/12. , another boy due 01/21/15
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Old 06-30-2012, 08:05 AM   #5
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Re: Second time and Scared!

I get nervous sometime thinking about labor, and this is #3! I had an epidural with 1 and 2 and hope to go drug free this time. However, I won't consider it a failure if I wind up getting one again. You make your plans, but in the end, as long as there is a happy/healthy mommy and baby, that's all that matters. Nobody hands out awards after childbirth, so there is no first or last place. So try not to stress about it too much.
Pharmacist, wife to a nerdy chemist, and proud mama to Leta (12/2006), Derek (4/2009) and Viola (7/2012). Now if only I could figure out a way to quit my job and still pay my student loans all would be well with the world.
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Old 06-30-2012, 08:59 AM   #6
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Re: Second time and Scared!

I'm right in line with you OP. My first was a c/s, second a HBAC where I had no fear. Now I'm nervous! My DH says it's because I had something to prove with the HBAC and didn't think about anything else. For my part, I'm trying to remember that really all it was was hard work. I'm not scared of hard work. A little grudging sometimes, but it's just hard work. And at the end, the most amazing feeling of motherhood in the world. The most precious child ever made is in my arms and thank you Jesus the back ache will be gone!
Wife to Nick, 10 years now. Mom to Lydia (c/s) 6/6/07, Arwen (HBAC) 6/3/09, Silas (HBAC) 7/2/12 and Archer HBAC 10/15/14. Jesus loving, CDing, BFing, non vaxing , homeschooling SAHM who loves my new community is Spring Hill, TN
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