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Old 12-21-2011, 07:23 PM   #1
LaughingPeaMama
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Need encouragement and reassurance:update1

DD was an unplanned csec due to failure to progress...basically I was induced at 39w3d and she wasn't really positioned well so I didn't dilate. It wasn't a horrible experience but I didn't like being away from her for so long. I felt it messed with our bonding.

FF to this baby. I was set up for a repeat csec at 20 weeks due to complete previa. I had a recent bleeding episode and they discovered the previa is gone so I can go for a vbac. However, I have dealt with bleeding and almost constant mild/moderate contractions for the last 2 weeks. OB appt today said I'm still firmly closed and high up so there is little hope that this baby will be here early I was so upset that I told the Dr. to schedule my csec for jan 5 (due 12) because mentally I cannot go another 3 weeks with these contractions/spotting/pain with nothing to show for it. I'm so heartbroken and frustrated. I really do not want another surgery, mostly because it is surgery and I don't want to be separated from this baby for so long. However, my mental state in dealing with these useless contractions is quickly declining. I had a total breakdown earlier and I feel a little better but I know that will be back tomorrow when the contractions start up again.

Please no flames about my decision, I just need encouragement either way. I am totally prepared to vbac if this baby decides to let me labor on my own but I need help coming to terms with another section if needed.

12/28: so this baby is still showing no signs of coming on his own. I'm so upset I do not want another major surgery. Everyone acts like its no big deal but they are not the ones getting cut open once again. I also really drear being separated from my child for so long. The thought of this surgery is really depressing me at a time when I should be excited and that isn't helping either!

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Old 12-21-2011, 07:27 PM   #2
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Sorry you are dealing with this... I pray that the contractions slow down or your precious baby comes soon..there are women who have gone from nothing to complete in a matter of days..your body is up to something! for you! You have to make the best decision for you and baby!
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Old 12-22-2011, 05:58 PM   #3
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Re: Need encouragement and reassurance

I'm so sorry. This is EXACTLY where I was with my son (2nd c-section). I started having contractions at 36 weeks. I had full on bloody show at 38 weeks, with contractions the whole time. I got to 3 cm and 75%effaced, but no baby and no real labor. I scheduled a c-section for 40 weeks 3 days and felt like a total failure. I had horrible sciatic nerve pain for my whole pregnancy and was just not coping well at all. I wanted a VBAC so, so badly, but mentally, I was really struggling. I was induced at 41 weeks with my first and after lots of terrible heart decels, I had a c-section after 18 hours. I was mad at myself for that, too.

However, I will say, that after my son was born, I felt good! Mentally I was 100 times better even if I felt like I let myself down by not fighting hard for my VBAC. It felt amazing to not be having constant contractions that were doing nothing!

You're not alone, Mama. I hope you get some rest and feel better soon!
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Old 12-22-2011, 06:46 PM   #4
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Re: Need encouragement and reassurance

Quote:
Originally Posted by aries416 View Post
I'm so sorry. This is EXACTLY where I was with my son (2nd c-section). I started having contractions at 36 weeks. I had full on bloody show at 38 weeks, with contractions the whole time. I got to 3 cm and 75%effaced, but no baby and no real labor. I scheduled a c-section for 40 weeks 3 days and felt like a total failure. I had horrible sciatic nerve pain for my whole pregnancy and was just not coping well at all. I wanted a VBAC so, so badly, but mentally, I was really struggling. I was induced at 41 weeks with my first and after lots of terrible heart decels, I had a c-section after 18 hours. I was mad at myself for that, too.

However, I will say, that after my son was born, I felt good! Mentally I was 100 times better even if I felt like I let myself down by not fighting hard for my VBAC. It felt amazing to not be having constant contractions that were doing nothing!

You're not alone, Mama. I hope you get some rest and feel better soon!

Thats just it...I have had sciatic nerve pain and hip pain to the point that I have to have help to move and sometimes I have a hard time walking and this has been going on since month five. I know I have it way better off than some women but I just feel like this whole pregnancy has been a struggle and I really wanted the birth to go the way I wanted it to! I'm a little better today. I am still hoping for a vbac and I'll continue my EPO and RRL tea but if it doesn't happen then I'm trying to be ok with whatever happens.
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Old 12-22-2011, 08:52 PM   #5
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Re: Need encouragement and reassurance

Do you know the position of the baby? If the baby is posterior that can affect your pain level and ineffective contractions. Helping the baby to turn into a better position might help labor to begin in earnest.

And I agree with what another poster said- just because your cervix is high and closed now, doesn't mean that it will be tonight , tomorrow, or next week! So try not to think about that too much as determining when you'll go into labor, because it doesn't mean a whole lot. Do you have a place to try swimming? might being in the water help to alleviate some pain that you're having?
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Old 12-22-2011, 11:13 PM   #6
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Re: Need encouragement and reassurance

Good heavens! Sounds like this pregnancy has been quite the trip for ya Momma! From someone who is 36 weeks tomorrow and planning a VBAC, I just want to say that you aren't failing anything! My biggest reason for wanting to VBAC is to avoid the PP depression I had afterward....I found that my depression ended up "separating" me from my baby much more than the literal separation that came after the section. You have to do what is right BOTH physically and mentally for you and your little one. Congratulations and enjoy your new little one -- however/whenever they get here!
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Old 12-28-2011, 04:30 AM   #7
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Re: Need encouragement and reassurance:update1

Ugh still waiting
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Old 12-30-2011, 12:20 PM   #8
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Re: Need encouragement and reassurance:update1

can you request to be with baby sooner? Are you with the same hospital?
With my first c-section, I didn't get to see him for almost 3 hours i think. with my second, different hospital, I got to see her in about an hour and hubby was with her the whole time.
it is no fun having your plans changed. I completely understand your not wanting to wait longer either with all the other things going on. It is very draining emotionally.
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Old 01-01-2012, 05:22 PM   #9
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Re: Need encouragement and reassurance:update1

I wanted to offer some hugs!!! Hope baby does something for ya in the next few days.. BUT if not then he/she will be coming on the 5th right? ((hugs)) again.. hopefully this experience will be better and a lot diff then your first since it will be a planned section!!

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Old 01-02-2012, 11:03 AM   #10
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Re: Need encouragement and reassurance:update1

Yup so far nothing has happened. It looks like he'll be here on the fifth. I can't even really post on my ddc cause all the natural easy arrivals just make me sad. This is our last baby and even if we went for another there is no way they would let
Me vba2c around here. I'm trying to stay focused on the fact that we will meet him soon but I'm totally preparing to need some ppd help because of this surgery
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FSOT NOTE: SMOKE FREE DOG FRIENDLY HOME. EVERYTHING IS LINT BRUSHED BUT STRAY HAIRS WILL BE FOUND. IF THIS BOTHERS YOU DON'T FSOT WITH ME PLEASE
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