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Old 12-28-2011, 09:08 AM   #1
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Can't have a homebirth- what would you do?

So....I have a kidney disease and I am on BP meds. Midwives won't touch me with a 10ft pole and also, the ones around here supposedly "take medicaid" but with a bunch of fees that medicaid doesn't cover. But I digress, bc my current kidney issue makes that a moot point anyway. I would love to do unassisted, but again, with the BP, DH is not on board with that.

I did end up having to deliver my last at a hospital (had my MW drop me at 35 wks). That experience was pretty good, mostly bc I didn't have to see an OB but once (at 37 wks and DS was born at 38). And the hospital was really laid back to my wishes. I did get monitored and a sono when I went there in labor bc I had a huge bleed right before I went into labor (I am all for things like that when they are warranted, not as a matter of routine).

So, here I am, 17 wks pregnant and I haven't *done* anything prenatally. I would maybe use the OB who delivered Kailani, but he and the hosp are an hr away and I don't think I can swing the gas money for appointments. I could use an OB here, but no way do I want to deliver in the local hospital (everything would be a fight), so I would be going to them for appts knowing I would just show up at the other hospital when I went into labor. I also don't want to fight any OB (I am sure no MW practice would take me, even the ones who deliver in hosp) about every freaking test. I am 41, but I don't want them to use a doppler at all, I won't get GD test (I know that's a hot topic here, but not for me), I won't get all the "omg, you're old and we have to see if the baby is normal" tests either. I may submit to the strep one, though.
I am honestly not concerned about prenatal care as far as this is my 6th kid, the only thing I need to watch for is pre-e and I can get the pee sticks and check myself.
The only concern for me, with not getting prenatal is when I want to leave right after birth, I don't want to hassle with them about it (for them to "keep an eye" on the baby). With Kailani, even though the hospital was awesome and I had prenatal the whole time, I had to sign him out AMA (we left same day). I know if I delivered in my local hospital, they would have called SS for trying to leave (they have called them for less). So....help? (If this post made any sense at all, I am a bit jumbled and bummed about the whole thing )

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Old 12-28-2011, 09:32 AM   #2
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Re: Can't have a homebirth- what would you do?

We cannot have a home birth, even though I was so adamant that my next/this baby would be. It just isn't financially possible. We cannot afford a doula or birth classes either. We hope by educating ourselves enough that we'll still luck out flying by the seat of our pants.

I AM driving 1+ hr for prenatal care, and the hospital is also just over an hour away from my home. I am seeing a midwife group overseen by a DO. So they are a bit medicalized, but at least I'm treated with respect and dignity.
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Old 12-28-2011, 10:44 AM   #3
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Re: Can't have a homebirth- what would you do?

Just wanted to offer some hugs. I had a kidney transplant in 2003 and midwives won't get near me either so I know how you feel . I have no clue what I'd do. Probably really try to drive the distance for a better experience. I'd just not be seen as often as the doc wanted to to save on gas money.
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Old 12-28-2011, 11:41 AM   #4
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Re: Can't have a homebirth- what would you do?

Not sure what I would do in your situation. I'd probably contact the obs at the original hospital and go in occassionally to get checked up on and deliver there. Like, at 36 weeks, go for a check up If they're laid back, would they mind? Tell them this is your 6th baby and you know what you're doing!
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Old 12-28-2011, 11:43 AM   #5
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Re: Can't have a homebirth- what would you do?

Do you have any birth center options?
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Old 12-28-2011, 12:47 PM   #6
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Re: Can't have a homebirth- what would you do?

thanks everyone!! . The only birth centers here are run by midwives and they 1) don't accept medicaid 2) midwives won't accept me. They are further for me as well, which i wouldn't mind (except for the gas $$). I *would* have a lay midwife and homebirth like I did for my 4th, but now that VA has CPMs no one is underground anymore.
Keep the ideas coming
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Old 12-28-2011, 12:53 PM   #7
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Re: Can't have a homebirth- what would you do?

Do any of the doctors from the good hospital have an office closer to you? How far in to VA are you? Have you considered asking a LM from a neighboring state if she would see you?
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Old 12-28-2011, 12:57 PM   #8
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Re: Can't have a homebirth- what would you do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cathypie View Post
Do any of the doctors from the good hospital have an office closer to you? How far in to VA are you? Have you considered asking a LM from a neighboring state if she would see you?
that is a good idea, but I really need to be able to use Medicaid and I only have VA medicaid (I know I said something about a lay mw, but I was thinking of my old one cuz she might let me pay $5 a month for life, but she is certified now and won't take me, so it was a pipe dream). I am only about 20 min from MD, 30 min from the PA border and 35 min from DC.
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Old 12-28-2011, 01:03 PM   #9
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Re: Can't have a homebirth- what would you do?

Darn. I hate it when good ideas get ruined by money. Happens to me all the time.
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Old 01-05-2012, 05:23 PM   #10
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I wanted a home birth but am on the third floor of an apartment so I know how you feel mama. Its just not gunna happen for me luckily my hospital was actually one of (if not the first) to offer full water births in new england and is so very accepting of supporting mamas. Getting mamas off their backs and laboring however they feel best! I pray for you and hope that you are able to find your perfect birthing experience
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