Can't have a homebirth- what would you do?

[canadianbakers]

Originally Posted by bluedaisyma I kinda hinted to my family practice NP cuz she is pretty crunchy and they stopped doing births when the practice got too big. so idk if she is even allowed to do prenatal. I will bring it up again, bc I don't mind going that route at all! I did like the OB who delivered my last, but the drive, as I said and I only saw him once so I didn't have to deal with all the tests. I know I need to get prenatal care soon. I am 19 wks and want to get on the books somewhere soon. DH just started a job bus driving and I have to take him all diff places in addition to the kids, so going somewhere not close to home is going to be even more challenging.

First off, Jul to H on the bus driving job!

Second - I'm serious lady. GET into the junebugs NOW.


Third - Definitely check with the office and see if they can at least do the prenatals for now. My fam Dr (actually, NO fam drs that I know of up here) doesn't do deliveries, only OBs and MWs can (insurance issues), but I see him for my prenatals. He'll refer me to the OB probably at my next appt (will be 22 or 23wks) and then I'll see them whenever they get me in to start.
With Levi that wasn't until 35-36wks, so I'm not expecting to get in right away. I don't mind - my fam Dr office is open on Saturdays, to see the OB I have to find a way to make it during the week. Which I can't. Well, not without pulling Isaac out of school for the day.

Fourth - If your bp isn't playing nice, it's definitely important for you to be getting checked out. Hopefully the NP will agree to do that for now
If it wasn't acting up I wouldn't worry about doing anything for a good while. But if it is... I just worry about you, Hun.

[crunchymom2b]

Unfortunately mama, unless you do no prenatal care/your own and birth unassisted at home, you just need to get yourself into the mindset to have a great hospital birth.

IMO you just need to getall the negative thoughts out of your mind. If you try an OB and don't like them you can switch- you're not stuck with them! If I were you, I would make a list of all the things you *want* in a birth (including the prenatal aspects you want to refuseand things like that). Then go through that list while asking yourself "If I don't get my way on _______ what's the worst that will happen?" Try to eliminate all the things you can find a way to live with and try to focus on some of the positives things. Like, if they use a doppler every so often what's the worst that will happen? If you have to stay an extra few hours/a day in the hospital will it really upset things? Not saying that those aren't important things, they may be huge to you, but I think you should ask yourself thosekind of questions as you go down the list.

Could you maybe see a counselor a few times to try to come to terms about not getting your perfect birth? They may have some suggestions too! It can't hurt.

In the end i hope you have a great birth mama.It's no fun when our medicalized and money hungry society rule things :-/

[*KaiMom*]

Originally Posted by bluedaisyma I wish . DH is Hawaiian/Samoan but we have to live here bc of joint custody of my teens. I used birthcare with my 3rd and they have gotten a lot more medical minded over the years, but anywho, they don't take medicaid. I am on a homebirth loop for Northern VA and no one had any suggestions, and I have talked to many MWs. I wish there were some who delivered in the hospital that I am planning to go to.

Oh, I wish we could have met when I lived in VA. I was a member of the birth circle and LOVED it. Have you looked into the OB who supposrts the mw at Birthcare? I've heard really nice things about her (no personal experience).

You're right, birthcare has gotten very medical and it's really sad. They have to to keep their insurance though.

Have you thought about a doula? The birth assistant that I used it sooooooo awesome and she doulas also. PM me if you want her name.

[sh0rtchica]

Originally Posted by bluedaisyma Please feel free to message me! I have lived here my whole life and know a lot or of a lot of MWs here (I have met several over the years), but none that I have talked to seem able to help with the whole "medicaid" and OOP expenses that the MWs themselves charge. I was even dropped by a MW whom I LOVED last time (19 mo ago) bc "medicaid hasn't paid me for my last few births, so I am not going to do anymore medicaid births". She called me on the phone, the night before my 35 (or 36) week appt (knowing I go 2 wks early, typically), so that I "wouldn't show up and her have to tell me she was dropping me as a patient". Nice. And now that my BP is up (even though I am working on controlling it), I dunno if any will take me out of hospital anyway. I know I need to get prenatal care soon. I am 19 wks and want to get on the books somewhere soon. DH just started a job bus driving and I have to take him all diff places in addition to the kids, so going somewhere not close to home is going to be even more challenging.

so, i hear that the next best thing to homebirth is a hospital birth with the midwives at GW Hospital. i know it's really, really hard to get into, but you might be able to if they've had people drop, or something like that. it's worth reaching out. every person that i know who's been with them (mostly VBACs since i'm active in ICAN) has had an awesome, awesome experience. they do waterbirths there, too. i know it can be a hike, and getting into DC is a PITA, but it might be worth it, especially if they take medicare. i've been burned personally by Pysicians & Midwives, but that's also a possibility (last time i was there they took Medicare). Apparently there's been some turn-over in the last 2-3 years that has led to positive changes. Might be worth looking into. I just spoke with a woman yesterday who had a great, natural hospital birth with them 5 weeks ago. she was thrilled with her experience. best of luck!!!

[bluedaisyma]

thanks! my only problem is Medicaid (I have that, not medicare) is it is state-specific, so they won't accept VA medicaid.
I had a great experience at Fauquier Hospital 19 mo ago, honestly. They didn't even bat an eye when I told them I was keeping the placenta (they gave me a bowl with a lid and did everything for me), no anything for the baby except measuring and hearing, (no eye drops, shots, bath, disposable diaps, etc). We left the same day and so on. I had come in with a massive bleed so some things I didn't want like monitoring were done (once they knew the baby was ok and it wasn't previa, they backed off). I was trying to see if MWs delivered there, but I think it is just 3 OBs.