CIO does not mean leave your kid to scream for hours

[MotherMoonPads]

Forgive me for my ignorance, but what IS CIO if it isn't that?

[colin-mylilguy]

Originally Posted by MotherMoonPads Forgive me for my ignorance, but what IS CIO if it isn't that?

[jenn5388]

That's terrible.

I used to have a friend that let her kids just pass out where ever and whenever. They didn't have any kind of schedule, they'd fall asleep on the floor at midnight and that's where they would sleep.. It drove me crazy. I couldn't imagine not having a bedtime/naptime, if for anything but some quiet time without dealing with the kids! lol

My kids have carved out thier own schedule as infants, and I molded it, basically. but yes, Miranda CIO When she was a infant..She would scream if you were holding her or not, so I figured she might as well do it where I don't have to go deaf and would check on her every so often. She was a tough baby. (nothing wrong with her, she was just a very cranky baby, which has turned into a very cranky child)TBH, she didn't even really like to be held, feeding her was always a nightmare.. I bottlefed her after unsucessfully trying to breastfeed her, and she would wiggle so much while she ate that you couldn't hold her. I almost dropped her once! I did just the opposite with Levi and Jake. (also very different as infants than miranda) and so far, 2 out of the 3 have night terrors. I think it's the luck of the draw on that one. I've become less judgemental as a parent over the last few years, because I know, we all just do the best we can...even if it's not what I'd do. I try to remember that.

I'd like to think he's questioning the methods after speaking to your husband, but I doubt it. It sounds like taking care of the kids is the wife's job and he probably has no real clue on how much the child is sleeping/not sleeping.

[smashncakes]

We had a friend (no longer friends) that did the same thing with letting her little one CIO...I babysat for her for a long time, but one of the last straws came when we watched her LO overnight and she insisted I lock her in the room at 7pm and make her CIO until she fell asleep, even if it took a few hours...because "she'll usually go for at least 3 or 4 hours with me". I was totally shocked & disgusted by the idea, but decided to just ignore her "advice", then as she's walking out the door, she adds "oh yeah, if she pukes because she won't stop crying, just make her sit/sleep in it, otherwise she'll never learn that its not okay to cry like that until she makes herself sick" My sister stayed friends with her for a short time after that and told me that when they did timeouts with the same LO, they didn't do a minute for each year of age, they did an HOUR. So their 2 year old was getting TWO HOUR TIMEOUTS for very minor age-appropriate things that could have been solved with simple redirection, like overly rough play. Yeah...we all pretty much promptly cut off friendship with her and called DCFS.

[Anniee19]

When I think of using CIO, I assume that the baby is being checked in on at intervals, and spacing them out as time goes on. We don't do it, because my DS is very high needs and it just doesn't work for us.

Over Christmas, my brother and his GF were talking about how they usually just put their son (6 months old) in his crib at night and he usually cries for 2 HOURS before falling asleep. They've been doing this for at least a month and obviously (I would think but apparantly not) it isn't working for him. The thing that gets me is that their baby is SO easy going and will fall right asleep if you rock him for a few minutes or give him a bottle- he does every time! I don't understand why they feel the need to let him cry for 2 hours each night!

[Tati&Malika's Mom]

Originally Posted by smashncakes We had a friend (no longer friends) that did the same thing with letting her little one CIO...I babysat for her for a long time, but one of the last straws came when we watched her LO overnight and she insisted I lock her in the room at 7pm and make her CIO until she fell asleep, even if it took a few hours...because "she'll usually go for at least 3 or 4 hours with me". I was totally shocked & disgusted by the idea, but decided to just ignore her "advice", then as she's walking out the door, she adds "oh yeah, if she pukes because she won't stop crying, just make her sit/sleep in it, otherwise she'll never learn that its not okay to cry like that until she makes herself sick" My sister stayed friends with her for a short time after that and told me that when they did timeouts with the same LO, they didn't do a minute for each year of age, they did an HOUR. So their 2 year old was getting TWO HOUR TIMEOUTS for very minor age-appropriate things that could have been solved with simple redirection, like overly rough play. Yeah...we all pretty much promptly cut off friendship with her and called DCFS.

This made me nauseous! I'm glad to see you called child services on her!

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

[*Peanut*]

I also wonder if the type of personality that causes LO's to have a harder time self soothing also makes them more prone to night terrors (whether you let them CIO or not).

[Sarawithouth]

Originally Posted by *Peanut* I also wonder if the type of personality that causes LO's to have a harder time self soothing also makes them more prone to night terrors (whether you let them CIO or not).

Hmmm I'd like to see some statistics on that. That's an interesting theory.

I had night terrors but my parents didn't CIO. My coworker's DD had night terrors too and I know she didn't practice CIO either. Self-soothing issues, yes.

We don't CIO with LO - sometimes she'll briefly wake up then fuss right back to sleep. If she's crying, it's because she's awake and needs something, which includes cuddles. She's in a sleep regression now and is having a hard time getting to sleep - thrashing, headbanging, squirming away from me, but she'll finally suck her thump and rest her head on my chest. That's the best way for me to get her to sleep.

[*Peanut*]

Oh my goodness, DS doesn't CIO and still sleeps in our bed at 2 years old. He still needs soothing in the middle of the night too. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to let him CIO. He can't even sleep through a nap by himself.

[Crankenstein'sMama0709]

Originally Posted by jenn5388 That's terrible. I used to have a friend that let her kids just pass out where ever and whenever. They didn't have any kind of schedule, they'd fall asleep on the floor at midnight and that's where they would sleep.. It drove me crazy. I couldn't imagine not having a bedtime/naptime, if for anything but some quiet time without dealing with the kids! lol My kids have carved out thier own schedule as infants, and I molded it, basically. but yes, Miranda CIO When she was a infant..She would scream if you were holding her or not, so I figured she might as well do it where I don't have to go deaf and would check on her every so often. She was a tough baby. (nothing wrong with her, she was just a very cranky baby, which has turned into a very cranky child)TBH, she didn't even really like to be held, feeding her was always a nightmare.. I bottlefed her after unsucessfully trying to breastfeed her, and she would wiggle so much while she ate that you couldn't hold her. I almost dropped her once! I did just the opposite with Levi and Jake. (also very different as infants than miranda) and so far, 2 out of the 3 have night terrors. I think it's the luck of the draw on that one. I've become less judgemental as a parent over the last few years, because I know, we all just do the best we can...even if it's not what I'd do. I try to remember that. I'd like to think he's questioning the methods after speaking to your husband, but I doubt it. It sounds like taking care of the kids is the wife's job and he probably has no real clue on how much the child is sleeping/not sleeping.

I met a little baby like that, she did not like to be held while she had her bottle. I tried holding her once when babysitting and she wouldn't have it. I just wanted to see because her mom would leave her screaming bloody murder in poopy diapers for hours along with her older sisters pee diapers would sag horribly.