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Old 01-04-2012, 12:02 PM   #21
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Re: CIO in toddlers...?

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Originally Posted by hpfgirl View Post

Plan A because heck, I'm super mom:
I grab his blanky and wrap him up tight in it. W also has a binky and a lovey. I sit with him in the chair in his room with the lights off and hold him tight. I do not talk, sing or offer any entertainment. I might say "shhhhh, time to stop wiggling" over and over. He struggles and screams at me, but I hold on. He needs to to teach him how to control his body. (He screams the heartbreaking, I'm dying cry. Woops, he's too hot. I strip off his clothes, wrap him back in the blanket and start again. Hey, I make a lot of mistakes!)
We use holding with one of our boys who has mild sensory processing - we were dying because he would.not.sleep. Turns out he needs to be completely tucked in at night - the moment even one corner of his blanket moves he wakes up screaming - our O/T recommended a weighted blanket to help keep him tucked in - I couldn't find one but ended up sewing a sleep sack with a zipper on the back out of some left over fleece (they sell toddler sized, but they have foot holes which just wouldn't do) et voila - he's been sleeping through the night ever since.

Guess I'm going long way around saying that there could be some external factor that is causing her to wake - and I would wonder what that is and see if you could fix that at the same time you are introducing the routine.

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Old 01-06-2012, 04:00 PM   #22
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Re: CIO in toddlers...?

If you remember I posted about a similar issue with my 2 year old. We were exausted and fed up so we decided to do gentle CIO (put her to bed and then come back every 2 mins, then 5 mins unless she is hysterical.). Well she was asleep or at least quiet within 2 minutes the last 2 nights. It helped that she hadn't napped since we just let her play quietly and didn't force a nap. We also made sure she was quiet and peaceful before we left and I sat with her in the dark for 5 minutes. That night DH and I both got hit with a horrible stomach bug so it was a blessing that DD was sleeping by herself!
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Old 01-13-2012, 09:41 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hpfgirl

Yes! Okay, here's an example of a worst-case for W.

We brush teeth, read story, lay him in his crib. He pops up and starts bouncing. I lay him back down, cover him up, tell him I love him and leave. Most nights he talks and plays quietly with his lovey until he falls asleep. Sometimes there's some crying or protesting, but not more than 30 seconds or so. But tonight, he cries the heartbreaking cry that lasts more than a couple of minutes, so I know he needs more.

I offer water. "No!"

I check his temperature. He's not sick.

I try one more time to lay him back down because taking him out of bed should be my LAST option. I pat his back or massage his scalp, but no, he's not having it. He's writhing and sobbing. Okay, I get the message.

Plan A because heck, I'm super mom:
I grab his blanky and wrap him up tight in it. W also has a binky and a lovey. I sit with him in the chair in his room with the lights off and hold him tight. I do not talk, sing or offer any entertainment. I might say "shhhhh, time to stop wiggling" over and over. He struggles and screams at me, but I hold on. He needs to to teach him how to control his body. (He screams the heartbreaking, I'm dying cry. Woops, he's too hot. I strip off his clothes, wrap him back in the blanket and start again. Hey, I make a lot of mistakes!)

Eventually (2-3 minutes), he stops moving and I hear his breathing is getting calmer. I loosen my hold on him, but keep him snuggled close. I tell him how good he's being and give him lots of kisses. He might even giggle a little, which is fine. I know he's secure, relaxed and comfortable.

I ask him, "Are you ready to lay in your bed?"

"No."

I lay my head to the side and close my eyes so he's discouraged from interacting with me. 5 more minutes, his eyes start to droop and maybe he starts moving around like he's trying to get more comfortable.

"I'm going to put you in your bed now." This is where I try to be firm. He can get to sleep himself from this point.

I lay him down, cover him up, say "I love you. Goodnight, call me if you need anything." And leave. He might still protest or whine, but that's fine if it doesn't escalate.

Plan B because I'm tired, I might kill a kitten if I have to deal with this tonight:

"DH, I can't do this tonight. Will you please help W go to sleep?"

Then, I leave and let DH go at it. DH doesn't do it exactly like I do, but we have the same general philosophy: make sure the boy feels safe, relaxed and comfortable, then let him put himself to sleep. Don't give him any other options.

Plan C because it's the middle of the night and neither one of us can deal with a big long ritual:

"DH, just bring him in here."

DH checks diaper, offers water, then brings the boy in and lays him down next to me. He usually is fine and drifts back to sleep quickly. I put him back in his bed and go back to my bed.

Plan D because I know this child is just testing me:

Offer water, check diaper, check temperature of room and body, check that clothing is comfortable, whatever.

Lay the boy down, kiss the boy, cover him up, say "It's time to go to sleep. Lay down and close your eyes. Goodnight, mommy loves you." Leave. {Repeat as many times as necessary.}

I guess there's a pattern here. There's lots of ways to do it depending on the situation, but you're sending the same message with each one? Mommy loves you and will take care of your needs, but you have to go to sleep now and I will show you how.

Another way DH can help you is to have a talk with him and agree on a philosophy together. Have him watch you with her and critique you. I've been suprised at how insightful DH can be in pointing out where I'm making mistakes and letting the boy work me (aka mommy is not being firm enough). It's tough to swallow all that mommy pride, but it works.

Also remember that backsliding is totally normal when there big changes, excitement or stress in the house. Examples: she's sick, there's a new baby, we're at grandma's house, Christmas was sooooo exciting, I learned how to do a somersault (sp?) today, I started a new school/daycare today...
Thank you so much! I forgot to respond but did read it
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