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Old 01-06-2012, 05:56 PM   #11
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Re: January 2012 Chat Thread

Thanks for the updates everyone! Jen, so glad you could take the girls again!

Nothing new here. Our licensing worker is coming to renew our license on Monday. Already been almost a year. We're still debating attempting a private domestic or international adoption. I'm just not feeling sure about anything right now.

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Old 01-06-2012, 06:58 PM   #12
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Re: January 2012 Chat Thread

I can understand that. The wounds are still pretty fresh. What country(ies) are you considering? I think if dh and i had a little more disposible income we would go for domestic infant adoption, it *seems* the safest, but we all know nothing is certain in adoption. I would dang near sell my soul to the devil to fund a private adoption if one of those miracles happened to us and a baby got plopped in our lap.

For instance...follow me now...my cousin's wife's neice just turned 18 and is due any day and very unstable. Cousins wife has some sort of guardianship over neice (she was taken in by them when she was a preteen, not sure if it was officially adoption or long term foster or what?) due to mental health issues and she has decided to adopt the baby. I dont know anything about the rights or desires of the neice. If this girl came to me i would be throwing elbows to fight for this baby AND the neice. It really breaks my heart that cousin and his wife are taking the baby. I love this girl like family and i guess im just selfish and want him for myself.
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Old 01-06-2012, 07:14 PM   #13
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Re: January 2012 Chat Thread

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I can understand that. The wounds are still pretty fresh. What country(ies) are you considering? I think if dh and i had a little more disposible income we would go for domestic infant adoption, it *seems* the safest, but we all know nothing is certain in adoption. I would dang near sell my soul to the devil to fund a private adoption if one of those miracles happened to us and a baby got plopped in our lap.

For instance...follow me now...my cousin's wife's neice just turned 18 and is due any day and very unstable. Cousins wife has some sort of guardianship over neice (she was taken in by them when she was a preteen, not sure if it was officially adoption or long term foster or what?) due to mental health issues and she has decided to adopt the baby. I dont know anything about the rights or desires of the neice. If this girl came to me i would be throwing elbows to fight for this baby AND the neice. It really breaks my heart that cousin and his wife are taking the baby. I love this girl like family and i guess im just selfish and want him for myself.
I did basically sell my soul - it was called tufting out my old job to basically hand over most of my salary to adoption stuff. And, it was so worth it. But, for child #2, I am not willing to do it what I did again as I didn't realize how bad it was till I was out of there. We'd go for a reasonable adoption but that's it (our adoption was very reasonable but it was the search so there are reasonable birthparents out there). Plus, its something for you to consider when you have one special needs child and are open to another one - in that case, I wouldn't try anything like what we did financially as that money as you really need it for a rainy day, especially if what ever you need isn't covered under medical insurance.

Depending on your religion, there are agency's who do reasonably priced adoptions. It was out for us as we were ruled out for many of those thanks to me, but its a great option for many families. Some have sliding fees.
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Old 01-06-2012, 07:38 PM   #14
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Re: January 2012 Chat Thread

We had some good news yesterday! After DFS's mom just kept making herself look stupider and stupider in court, and her a$$ handed to her by DCS's attorney, and then drug tested that night at her visit, she had her attorney call DCS and ask to negotiate an adoption agreement with us! She was acting weird at court, so I wonder if it is going to come back positive.

Bio dad, who had the failed trial home visit last spring/early summer, has really checked out and couldn't care less about him now. But bio mom had another baby, and since it was a different county, she got to keep him at home, and they are closing her case on the new baby (which is a whole other drama filled story, but our judge in our county is incredulous that ANYONE would consider closing that case). However, if they TPR in my case, they can take the baby and she doesn't want to lose him.

So...our attorney is going to negotiate with hers. She has no bargaining power really, since TPR is Feb 29, and she hasn't had a steady job, and is on 2 one-hour supervised visits a month, so I'm not quite sure what she wants to negotiate. We offered 2 two-hour visits a year supervised by us and letters/pictures twice a year. We did stipulate that these are closed visits, and only siblings are allowed to attend, unless she asks in advance and we allow it. There are some other technicalities in there as well, but nothing we are willing to budge on (visits must be within 20 miles of our residence at a public place, cannot occur on his birthday or other major holiday, and she must either text or email to set them up).

So...after 33 months, we are getting seriously close to FINALLY adopting DFS!!!
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Old 01-06-2012, 07:44 PM   #15
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Re: January 2012 Chat Thread

Kristen - That is absolutely wonderful! Glad you got some good news.
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Old 01-06-2012, 07:49 PM   #16
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Re: January 2012 Chat Thread

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Old 01-06-2012, 08:00 PM   #17
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Re: January 2012 Chat Thread

YESSS. We are so done. Our license is up at the end of April. We will probably renew one year just in case her other baby comes into the system to keep the siblings together. But no other new placements.
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Old 01-06-2012, 08:19 PM   #18
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That's awesome Kristen!

We are officially active with our agencies. We are potentially being shown to a birthmom next week already! Exciting!
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Old 01-06-2012, 08:29 PM   #19
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Re: January 2012 Chat Thread

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YESSS. We are so done. Our license is up at the end of April. We will probably renew one year just in case her other baby comes into the system to keep the siblings together. But no other new placements.
thats a great idea! i'm so happy for you!
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Old 01-06-2012, 08:31 PM   #20
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Re: January 2012 Chat Thread

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I did basically sell my soul - it was called tufting out my old job to basically hand over most of my salary to adoption stuff. And, it was so worth it. But, for child #2, I am not willing to do it what I did again as I didn't realize how bad it was till I was out of there. We'd go for a reasonable adoption but that's it (our adoption was very reasonable but it was the search so there are reasonable birthparents out there). Plus, its something for you to consider when you have one special needs child and are open to another one - in that case, I wouldn't try anything like what we did financially as that money as you really need it for a rainy day, especially if what ever you need isn't covered under medical insurance.

Depending on your religion, there are agency's who do reasonably priced adoptions. It was out for us as we were ruled out for many of those thanks to me, but its a great option for many families. Some have sliding fees.
yeah i just wonder what it would like to be a little normal sometimes. whatever that is!
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