Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-05-2012, 02:35 AM   #1
pickeljuice
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: sunshine coast BC
Posts: 102
11 years older than DP

so here it is. I am 36 years old my fiance is 25. we have one child together, a dd 1 year old. he lives with his mom still. I live with my ds 8 and dd 1. I also have a dd 14 and a ds 17 that do not live with me full time. I have been with dp for over 2 years.
Sometimes the age difference is really too much, he doesn't get jokes or doesn't know what I am taking about but in the beginning it didn't matter. and as time goes on it still doesn't. except........... he is really immature, I guess I had a lot of growing up to do when we met. I have come a long way. He has really helped me thru so much. We both stopped drinking together. We just have this connection, I cant explain it. but he has a bad temper and sometimes he hurts my feeling really bad and I have trust issues. so i am finding that I don't trust him very much any more with my deep personal stuff. he used to be my friend too. I guess I am just feeling alone in my relationship and that sucks

Advertisement

__________________
Just a mom living in ds 17 dd 14 , ds 8 and dd 1 and
pickeljuice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2012, 05:28 AM   #2
ecbcmomma's Avatar
ecbcmomma
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,180
Re: 11 years older than DP


Last edited by ecbcmomma; 01-26-2013 at 07:16 AM.
ecbcmomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2012, 01:42 AM   #3
pickeljuice
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: sunshine coast BC
Posts: 102
Re: 11 years older than DP

Quote:
Originally Posted by ecbcmomma View Post
7I am 5 years older than dh. I think he is very immature too although he has grown a lot. We have been together for almost 8 years. Everything was fine at first here but then he became angry a lot too. I think it is due to our age difference like he feels he has something to prove. At least he is not living with you. If you don't like how he is acting now I wouldn't let that happen just yet. 8 years ago I felt as if we could read eachothers thoughts now I'm not so sure about all that. Just know there is always a choice and the choice is yours. Sit back for a few and think.
thank you. I have so much going on right now. I would love to just spill on line but... i could not handle the bad posts from others who wouldn"t understand.......
__________________
Just a mom living in ds 17 dd 14 , ds 8 and dd 1 and
pickeljuice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2012, 07:45 AM   #4
butterflygirl71
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 208
Re: 11 years older than DP

Hi mama!
I know this is an older thread but if you are still here, I will listen. I have not done my intro yet. But I am 16 years older then my DH I am 41 and he is 24. We have a 8mo old and I also have 4 other kids. I know all about the trials of this type of relationship. I am here if you want to chat. No judgement here mama!

Renee
__________________
Renee- Army wife to Tony SAHM to Tim 23, Michaela 18, Jacob 15, Briana 9 Gabriel 1 and William 1/31/13
butterflygirl71 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2012, 06:04 PM   #5
pickeljuice
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: sunshine coast BC
Posts: 102
Re: 11 years older than DP

thank you! its been really tough these last few weeks. I have been staying at my house a lot. I just don't know what to do. I do care about him. He is just so ugg!
I need to just walk away but how can i? I used to think he understood me. but lately he says things and I am asking myself if maybe he has deep physiological problems. because he doesn't know **** about me. he is always thinking I ma thinking bad stuff about him....... I dont. I think he needs some help. its hard to talk about, and I know he has a long road ahead of him. Just like I did when I was his age. I guess the question is am I willing to wait? what 10 years until he is where I am now? I want to get married. I want to live with my partner. I wan tto own a home.
__________________
Just a mom living in ds 17 dd 14 , ds 8 and dd 1 and
pickeljuice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-2012, 07:55 PM   #6
LaughingPeaMama
Registered Users
Formerly: RedShoes
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,589
Re: 11 years older than DP

That's a tough one mama. Have you thought of couples counseling. It might help him see he needs help beyond the normal everyday stuff but since you are with him it might seem less threatening. I will say it is extremely hard to admit you have a problem and need help. I fought post partum depression for over a year before I finally realized what I was feeling wasn't normal and for guys it is worse. If you are serious about sticking with it then you have a tough road ahead. I hope it all works out in your best interest whatever that may be
__________________
Wife to my soulmate since 7/12/03 mom to dd 2/9/09 and ds 1/5/12 and angel baby 10/07. Infertility survivor!ISO(willing to trade my FSOT items for) snapped unpaper towels EEEEUC or NEW heavy/long mama cloth
FSOT NOTE: SMOKE FREE DOG FRIENDLY HOME. EVERYTHING IS LINT BRUSHED BUT STRAY HAIRS WILL BE FOUND. IF THIS BOTHERS YOU DON'T FSOT WITH ME PLEASE
LaughingPeaMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-23-2012, 02:46 PM   #7
SugarAndSpiceX3's Avatar
SugarAndSpiceX3
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Swamp Country
Posts: 460
My Mood:
Re: 11 years older than DP

If you want to talk, I'm here. I'm the opposite (DP is 20 years older than me. He is 43, Im almost 23). I do sometimes feel like I have something to prove. I feel inadequate when he has to "teach" or explain something to me. It's a personal confidence issue, but in my head, I'm like "what if he gets sick of having to do this?" or "he wouldn't have to do/teach/explain x if he was with someone older." Then I have to remind myself that he is with me for a reason, he is my best friend even after knowing all about my bad past, he supported me through a cancer diagnosis/treatment, and if he was going to get tired of teaching/explaining/ect things to me, he would've a long time ago. I really do credit my sanity to him, and I don't feel like I'll ever really be worthy of him, but I'm sure blessed, and I tell him how much I appreciate his help and guidence every chance I get. Maybe he is just feeling a little insecure? Sometimes DP has to remind me that he packed me and 3 kids up and moved us across the country because he loved and wanted us, not because he had to. I'm sorry that you're dealing with so much, and I know this is old, but I just wrote a post like this, just in the opposite person. I just wanted to offer you the thoughts of someone from the other shoes. I hope things work out for the best for you both!
__________________
Brittany Partner in crimefighting to my hero Shawn and mama to B, B, M, J, L, and E. Busy enjoying our perfectly blended family and a little bit that I don't have anyone to buy fluff for anymore.
SugarAndSpiceX3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-07-2012, 12:55 AM   #8
pickeljuice
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: sunshine coast BC
Posts: 102
Re: 11 years older than DP

just an update.....
I dont get on here much! we all had the norwalk virus. I had to take care of the kids by myself. He is seeing a psychiatrist and on meds. but he is getting worst, not better. I am making it so I can leave him. I can not be with him anymore.
I am sad. so sad..... But I don't love him. on my god that is the first time I have said it! I don't know when it happened but I just don't
I am holding on to something, Iam not sure what it is? I hardly see him anymore and when we try to spend time together we just argue.
__________________
Just a mom living in ds 17 dd 14 , ds 8 and dd 1 and
pickeljuice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-07-2012, 10:02 PM   #9
SugarAndSpiceX3's Avatar
SugarAndSpiceX3
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Swamp Country
Posts: 460
My Mood:
Re: 11 years older than DP

Quote:
Originally Posted by pickeljuice View Post
just an update.....
I dont get on here much! we all had the norwalk virus. I had to take care of the kids by myself. He is seeing a psychiatrist and on meds. but he is getting worst, not better. I am making it so I can leave him. I can not be with him anymore.
I am sad. so sad..... But I don't love him. on my god that is the first time I have said it! I don't know when it happened but I just don't
I am holding on to something, Iam not sure what it is? I hardly see him anymore and when we try to spend time together we just argue.
It may be hard, but be proud. You have said it. When I left my ex it was terribly hard for me, too. Especially when I realized I'd always love him as a person, but I wasn't in love with him and didn't want to be. We also had a very rocky relationship, but in leaving him, I found the person that I really believe is my soulmate. Good luck to you and ! You are strong and you can do it!
__________________
Brittany Partner in crimefighting to my hero Shawn and mama to B, B, M, J, L, and E. Busy enjoying our perfectly blended family and a little bit that I don't have anyone to buy fluff for anymore.
SugarAndSpiceX3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2012, 11:36 AM   #10
Almacham
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Slytherin House
Posts: 15,946
My Mood:
Re: 11 years older than DP

Quote:
Originally Posted by pickeljuice View Post
just an update.....
I dont get on here much! we all had the norwalk virus. I had to take care of the kids by myself. He is seeing a psychiatrist and on meds. but he is getting worst, not better. I am making it so I can leave him. I can not be with him anymore.
I am sad. so sad..... But I don't love him. on my god that is the first time I have said it! I don't know when it happened but I just don't
I am holding on to something, Iam not sure what it is? I hardly see him anymore and when we try to spend time together we just argue.
I'm sorry.

Sometimes with mental disorders you do get worse before you get better, but hopefully eventually as long as he is taking the correct meds and keeps seeing his psychiatrist he WILL get better.

Just don't burden yourself with worry for him. Take care of yourself and your kiddos and do what you need to do for you & them. Stay strong, mama.
__________________
Sarah, mom of many
Almacham is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.