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Old 01-09-2012, 11:26 AM   #21
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Re: How to tell midwife I want UAC?

Just be upfront with her.
I wouldn't do a UC, but my 3rd got stuck and the 4th had her hand by her face. Both time MW was able to move the babies to an optimal position w/no tearing or damage to baby.

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Old 01-09-2012, 12:20 PM   #22
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Re: How to tell midwife I want UAC?

I did not read all the posts just some, but my very good friend wanted UC with her second her first she had in hospital (and it went very well) anyhow with her second she went and did all her prenatal care with her OB who she really likes and that was covered through her ins and then when the birth came she stayed home, baby girl was born no issues and then the next morning she went to her pediatrician who did a baby check and then she said I had the baby at home last night "she just came so fast there was no time" ;-) Well she was prepared though and she herself is a doula and she did call one girlfriend of hers to come midway through the birth and her DH was there (son was sleeping) She was prepared if anything did go wrong to go to hospital and that would have been a 500 deductible for them (no biggie) and her prenatal care was about 1200 in co-pays total she told me. Anyway she would have taken herself strait away to hospital if something had gone wrong but all was fine she did not disclose to the OB that she planned to UC as a matter of fact she did not even tell her friends/family etc until after and even then she said something like I wanted to have the baby unassisted at home well she came so fast I guess it worked out that way ;-)

I think its sad that woman can't choose to birth how they want to birth, how ever that may be, epi/no-epi/cs, at home, at hossy, UC, in a tub of warm water under the moon without the back lash of blame "if" something were to go wrong. (we have friends who had their baby on there outside porch in the early am in the summer in a birth tub w/midwife) I think some prenatal care is good just so that you know how your pregnancy is going and if there is a major issue before hand like total previa or something but once informed you should be able to make that decision without backlash JMO.
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Old 01-09-2012, 12:22 PM   #23
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Re: How to tell midwife I want UAC?

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Originally Posted by 4boys1girlforme View Post
It sounds like you prefer to be up front and honest with your MW- if she refuses prenatals after- do you have any other choice in MW's?
I know of a few other midwives. I probably would have shopped around more before "committing" to this midwife if I hadn't had a previous satisfactory experience with her. Honestly, if she refuses prenatals I will explore other midwives and possibly OB/GYNs.
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Old 01-09-2012, 12:26 PM   #24
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Re: How to tell midwife I want UAC?

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I would really encourage you to somehow gain the courage to stand up for your wishes. I am a chicken and will often ask hubby if he can help me express my wants. You might be surprised how accommodating your caregivers will be. Our current OB agreed that I don't need an IV if I don't want one even though it will be a hospital birth, and wouldn't ask me to get one unless we ran into complications. (that he said he doesn't anticipate, I've had uncomplicated births in the past with the exception of an epidural gone horribly wrong). My husband asked if he could catch the baby. And our OB had no hesitation in answering YES!! He has agreed to be very hands off, and just be there to "supervise" if you will. He completely trusts my instincts and just says to call if I need him.
They do have a liability to consider, and I would fully understand if he felt the need to step in. But as much trust as he puts in me, I know he has the best interest of my health and the health of my baby at heart and will let me know when I need to reevaluate our birth plan.
Sounds like you have an amazing OB/GYN and your husband is really supportive and will stand up for you. My husband is supportive of whatever I want but in situations like this I can't see him standing up to medical authority. It is really hard to get past all of the conditioning we've had our whole lives, and I am probably more likely to argue my wants than he is
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Old 01-09-2012, 12:33 PM   #25
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Re: How to tell midwife I want UAC?

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I did not read all the posts just some, but my very good friend wanted UC with her second her first she had in hospital (and it went very well) anyhow with her second she went and did all her prenatal care with her OB who she really likes and that was covered through her ins and then when the birth came she stayed home, baby girl was born no issues and then the next morning she went to her pediatrician who did a baby check and then she said I had the baby at home last night "she just came so fast there was no time" ;-) Well she was prepared though and she herself is a doula and she did call one girlfriend of hers to come midway through the birth and her DH was there (son was sleeping) She was prepared if anything did go wrong to go to hospital and that would have been a 500 deductible for them (no biggie) and her prenatal care was about 1200 in co-pays total she told me. Anyway she would have taken herself strait away to hospital if something had gone wrong but all was fine she did not disclose to the OB that she planned to UC as a matter of fact she did not even tell her friends/family etc until after and even then she said something like I wanted to have the baby unassisted at home well she came so fast I guess it worked out that way ;-)

I think its sad that woman can't choose to birth how they want to birth, how ever that may be, home hossy, UC, in a tub of warm water under the moon without the back lash of blame "if" something were to go wrong. (we have friends who had their baby on there outside porch in the early am in the summer in a birth tub w/midwife) I think some prenatal care is good just so that you know how your pregnancy is going and if there is a major issue before hand like total previa or something but once informed you should be able to make that decision without backlash JMO.
Wow, birthing on the porch sounds really peaceful, especially if you had a country house with a big porch What your friend did is ideal, I honestly considered doing that but I tend to answer questions directly when people ask them without thinking. It is hard for me to be covert about my plans when people are asking questions, specifically nurses, doctors, and midwives.
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Old 01-09-2012, 01:56 PM   #26
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Re: How to tell midwife I want UAC?

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Wow, birthing on the porch sounds really peaceful, especially if you had a country house with a big porch What your friend did is ideal, I honestly considered doing that but I tend to answer questions directly when people ask them without thinking. It is hard for me to be covert about my plans when people are asking questions, specifically nurses, doctors, and midwives.
yes! We are in Taos NM part year and my gf and her DH live in nearby Questa and have land. She had her midwife there the whole time and they posted pics of the birth the sun was coming up it really was lovely!
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Old 01-09-2012, 06:42 PM   #27
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Re: How to tell midwife I want UAC?

Feeling the same way mama. My midwife has the costs broken down in the contract. I believe it's $60-100 per visit, most of the fee going to the birth. She charges $4500, which is the lowest and the most common price in the area. I wouldn't pay that much for prenatal and postnatal care, that's incredibly expensive for such little work. At least I think so considering I'm meeting with her every 6 weeks, not the typical 4 weeks and I'm low risk.

She know that I will be UCing in the future and she's given me loads of information for that purpose but doesn't know that I'm considering it this time around. Honestly, we haven't decided one way or another. It depends on if we can find a place to birth close to her (we're currently 3 hours away due to a move) and money. We are doing a partial trade and I'm also thinking payment plan. From what I recall, the whole amount is due whether she makes it or not UNLESS for some reason she cannot make it. Unreachable/unavailable etc.

Very few MWs are willing to just do prenatal because in other words, they're supporting a uc. Is it possible to ask in a way that won't jeopardize your care? Example: We may be moving in April is it possible to pay for prenatal care that you've given me before the move and not the birth since I'll be needing to find someone else?
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Old 01-09-2012, 07:23 PM   #28
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Re: How to tell midwife I want UAC?

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Old 01-09-2012, 09:33 PM   #29
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Re: How to tell midwife I want UAC?

It doesn't matter that YOU don't intend to sue if something goes wrong, she has to look at the bigger picture. You may not sue, but the next Jane or Mary might. She can't agree to it for one person and not another. Its a sad thing, how fearful providers must be of malpractice suits, but society has brought it on ourselves unfortunately. Until people stop being sue-happy, you may not beable to be 100% honest about your birth plans. And plus, I don't know if this is totally possible, but if your pedi finds out what happened and disagrees he could cause a stink, and well, that info falling into the wrong hands could be terrible for your MW.

I hope you are able to get the birth you want mama. Please let us know how it goes!
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Old 01-10-2012, 10:22 AM   #30
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Re: How to tell midwife I want UAC?

i don't have a whole lot of advice about the whole "just using the the midwife for pre/post natal" thing, except that i think it makes a lot of sense that she would possibly be liable if you didn't call her and something went wrong. i agree that you should have the right to labor however you feel most comfortable, but she has to protect her business and her other patients.

i don't personally feel comfortable with UC (for ME, i understand why others would do it, but i like having the midwife there), so i can't give you a lot of info in that respect either. however, i did notice that you live in southeast texas. anywhere near houston by any chance? i delivered with a fantastic midwife, who is fairly prominent in that area. she runs a birth center which is where i delivered, but i have heard that she's also started doing homebirths. i felt she was very hands off and respectful of everything i wanted, i never felt like i couldn't tell her "um no i don't want to do that". with all due respect to my current midwife, if it were at all practical, i would prefer to fly back to houston and deliver with my previous one. she was just the best. although i liked having her there, i HATE being bothered during labor. everyone who even TRIED to touch me during labor got their head snapped off. including her. and she took it very well, and respectfully backed off and didn't bother me again until i told her i was pushing and the baby was on his way out. she would have let anyone i wanted "catch" the baby. but dh wasn't there, and my mom and sister who were my support people (but spent most of the time avoiding my wrath in the corner of the room chatting with the midwife ) were uninterested and i didn't really want them bothering me anyways. but anyways, if she IS your midwife, maybe i could answer some questions and put your mind at ease. and if she ISN'T and you decide you want to change, well then, i have a good recommendation for you
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