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Old 01-10-2012, 06:32 AM   #11
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Re: Starting to regret nursing

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Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
I have said before that I think a baby who STTN is like a yeti--I've heard they exist, but I've never seen one. Maybe somehow you got two "yetis", and then your third baby is an actual normal human baby (ok, a little on the high-needs side--but those kids can be the most delightful as they grow up).

Dr. Sears says, "If you resent it, change it." So why not change something and see if it makes a difference.

You will never know what he would have been like had you done a nighttime bottle at 4 weeks. You can't go back and see, so there is no point in agonizing over the decision you made. Try to move past that and go forward--what's done is done, and cannot be undone.
So true about the "yeti". So true about what Dr. Sears says. So true about not being able to go back and see. Very wise Mama, that VeganCupcake!

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Old 01-10-2012, 09:28 AM   #12
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Thanks for the encouragements mamas. I think I was having a weak and stressed moment. After my first two didn't nurse as long as I wanted I did start doing more research on extended bf and set out to nurse this one to at least 2 years. I didn't realize how hard that would be, even when things have gone really well, other than the lack of sleep!

When DH kept asking to do a bottle, arguing that is the reason the other two slept so great, I argued back that I didn't think it had anything to do with it. And I listed friends whose babies were ff and didn't sttn until 3 yrs old and babies who were ebf and sttn at 8 weeks old.

I guess I just started to question it. Thanks for pulling me back around because I would regret weaning on a sour note more than I would regret nursing him and not sleeping.

I really don't have support from family for bf, especially extended bf so it gets hard at times.
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Old 01-10-2012, 11:38 AM   #13
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Re: Starting to regret nursing

So glad to hear you are feeling better about things. Sometimes sleep deprivation can muck up our thought process so much .

My DS1 was EBF, and was the worst sleeper on the planet. There was a period of time where he would wake up every 45 minutes to an hour all night long. Lasted at least a couple of months. It was awful, and I am sure I cried a lot during that time.

DS2 is not a great sleeper, but he is soooooo much better. I have done nothing different with him, other than bring him into our bed at an earlier age (pretty much right from the beginning with him). He is just a different kiddo.

And DS1 and DS2 are total opposites in one way. DS1 is a total night owl and hates getting up in the morning. He is grumpy and miserable to be with in the morning (like his mama ). DS2 wakes up at the crack of dawn talking and giggling and happy, and is an absolute bear in the evenings and needs to go to bed early. We have parented both as close to the same as possible, just goes to show how different each kiddo can be.
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Old 01-10-2012, 04:06 PM   #14
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Re: Starting to regret nursing

My 9mo does NOT sttn...not even close...and he's been ff since birth. I cannot bf due to a surgery. My other 3 babes all were sttn by now but this little guy just won't. He eats once or twice and then is up many times just for grins it appears. The only thing I did different with him was co-sleep for the first 7months whereas I never co-sleep with my others past 8 or 10'ish weeks. But even moving him into his own crib (still in my room though) has not changed his waking habits. He is simply an awful sleeper. I thought I had him sttn a few weeks ago but that lasted about 8 nights (it was heaven ) and now we are back to waking up. So, I think it really isn't a bf vs. ff thing. Just your baby isn't the sleeper that your first two were.
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Old 01-10-2012, 07:34 PM   #15
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I thought BFing was why my DD1 was an awful sleeper but more and more I heard of FF kids not STTN and BF kids STTN (my DH's cousin's BF kid just STTN at 5 weeks while mine who is the same age is up every hour). Anyway, she's just a bad sleeper all around. It's who she is. She has been weaned for 6 months and is still a poor sleeper most nights. I will say, cosleeping was not the right choice with her but I continued to do it. Looking back she did not bedshare well. If we put her down in her crib at first we'd get a good stretch then once she came in bed she woke up multiple times an hour (until around 13 months when I stopped bringing her in bed). I was just too tired to stay awake and take her back to her room so we just got stuck in that bad cycle. Anyway maybe cosleeping is hindering your LO from sleeping like it did my DD1. (And I'm not anti cosleeping. DD2 bedshares now and is capabale of 3-4 hour stretches right next to me...DD1 never did that)

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Old 01-11-2012, 04:24 AM   #16
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DD1 was ff. Never slept except in my arms. She is now 3. DD2 is ebf and sleeps like a champ. Both cosleeped until they were a month. DD2 now sleeps 7 hours roughly a night and DS1 still wakes me up in the middle of the night. Good luck hun. Maybe try a pack n play in your room so their close yet in there "own" bed.
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Old 01-11-2012, 05:44 AM   #17
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Re: Starting to regret nursing

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Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
I have said before that I think a baby who STTN is like a yeti--I've heard they exist, but I've never seen one. Maybe somehow you got two "yetis", and then your third baby is an actual normal human baby (ok, a little on the high-needs side--but those kids can be the most delightful as they grow up).
Oh my goodness, you made me burst out laughing! I have to confess, my DD is 19mo and does sleep well through the night (about 12-13 hours!!) BUT she has never, ever, ever, ever, ever slept ANYWHERE but in her bed, in a dark room, with no noise. (Well, I think she did her first month, but not after that.) She screamed in her car seat. We tried everything. I still look with undisguised envy and disbelief at babies I see sleeping in their strollers at the mall. We're about to go on a 2 day journey (2 long flights and a long layover) and I'm just going on the assumption she won't sleep at all. We've made it so that we get in to our 2 destinations at her "normal" sleep time, but I have no idea what to expect and am more than a bit nervous. Plus, I think she has a UTI, but the test isn't back yet and we leave tomorrow. AH!

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Right!!! I used to stand over her and BEG her to wake up so I could play with her! We even had some tests done to make sure something wasn't wrong. Let me tell you, she started that at 4 WEEKS old and never turned back. After my dd1 who literally never slept, I panicked so hard that first week. Made dh check on her every morning because I was CERTAIN I would be going in to a blue baby :/. That was the other thing...she didn't WANT to be in our room. She practically demanded a dark quiet room, door shut, put her to bed wide awake, don't bother me till I squeak at you in the morning. Weird kid. It was a dream after the sleep deprivation horrors with dd1. Dd2 is 6 now and we have experienced one downside to her genius ability to sleep and that is she still wets at night pretty consistantly. Honestly, I'm glad to take the trade
Oh my goodness, that is an absolute dream baby.
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Old 01-12-2012, 08:36 PM   #18
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Re: Starting to regret nursing

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where do I sign up for one of those? my DD2 is a much better sleeper than DD1 and I did the same things with both, but I've never had one pull that kind of nap schedule! You could get so much done!
I want one too!

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Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
I have said before that I think a baby who STTN is like a yeti--I've heard they exist, but I've never seen one. Maybe somehow you got two "yetis", and then your third baby is an actual normal human baby (ok, a little on the high-needs side--but those kids can be the most delightful as they grow up).

Dr. Sears says, "If you resent it, change it." So why not change something and see if it makes a difference.

You will never know what he would have been like had you done a nighttime bottle at 4 weeks. You can't go back and see, so there is no point in agonizing over the decision you made. Try to move past that and go forward--what's done is done, and cannot be undone.
I agree. You can't change the past, and you never will know if he would have been the same, or if he would have slept like your other two. I think every family has one needy baby though, and I think he's yours.

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Originally Posted by carolineb View Post
Thanks for the encouragements mamas. I think I was having a weak and stressed moment. After my first two didn't nurse as long as I wanted I did start doing more research on extended bf and set out to nurse this one to at least 2 years. I didn't realize how hard that would be, even when things have gone really well, other than the lack of sleep!

When DH kept asking to do a bottle, arguing that is the reason the other two slept so great, I argued back that I didn't think it had anything to do with it. And I listed friends whose babies were ff and didn't sttn until 3 yrs old and babies who were ebf and sttn at 8 weeks old.

I guess I just started to question it. Thanks for pulling me back around because I would regret weaning on a sour note more than I would regret nursing him and not sleeping.

I really don't have support from family for bf, especially extended bf so it gets hard at times.
I think you will regret it if you stop, especially so close to a year. You're doing great and as frustrating as the no sleep is, it probably won't change if you switch to formula and you will be kicking yourself that you didn't at least hold out a little longer. You know all of us March Mommies are in the same spot, and he's not the only one not sleeping, tell your DH that he's normal for his age and he's not the only one doing it. I know in the thick of things it's hard to see around the high needs baby and you're just trying to live day to day and just want sleep, but it will get better and when he's a teenager... go in his room and wake him up every hour at night, tell him it's payback.
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Old 01-13-2012, 04:19 AM   #19
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Re: Starting to regret nursing

Hang in there, mama! You can do it!
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Old 01-13-2012, 10:04 AM   #20
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Re: Starting to regret nursing

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I think you will regret it if you stop, especially so close to a year. You're doing great and as frustrating as the no sleep is, it probably won't change if you switch to formula and you will be kicking yourself that you didn't at least hold out a little longer. You know all of us March Mommies are in the same spot, and he's not the only one not sleeping, tell your DH that he's normal for his age and he's not the only one doing it. I know in the thick of things it's hard to see around the high needs baby and you're just trying to live day to day and just want sleep, but it will get better and when he's a teenager... go in his room and wake him up every hour at night, tell him it's payback.
Yes, send your DH over here for a visit to see how things are going at night with us! Aaaaarg, I was about to tear my hair out yesterday and last night. My March boy didn't nap in the afternoon and then woke up about every 45 minutes after I put him to bed for the night.

Oh, and then once he was more settled, my 3 year old got up at 3:32 a.m. and brought me some books to read to her. Uh, I don't think so. Mama was not happy. So it was a rough night at the VeganCupcake household too. Hopefully we will all survive this.
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