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Old 07-25-2015, 12:41 PM   #1
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Deciding to WOHM

I'm only 9 weeks along, but I'm already so conflicted about WOHM vs. SAHM. I have an amazing job and I love it, but I just got it two months ago and it's teaching preschool. I would love to just stay home for the first year and then go back to work, but I don't think I'd be able to get my position back. It's one thing to have someone work the summer for me and the last few months, it's another thing for a whole school year. I'm due at the end of February, so I'd be gone until the following August/September of the new school year. I don't think there's any way I could miss that school year and get my job back the following year.
I've always planned on being an SAHM for the first 5 years since I've got a degree in early childhood. Right now, I'm the only one with an income and while we're living with family, I don't know if/when it's likely for my husband to get a job. The whole situation is causing me a lot of conflict because I've always thought I'd stay home and now that it's here it looks like I might not be able to do so.

In short, I'm just looking for someone who's been through this before and could make me feel better about the choice I'm going to have to make. Or just pros and cons from someone who's had to work and teach at the same time.


Nicole, Preschool Teacher, Wife to DH since 6/2013, expecting our first 2/27/2016
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Old 07-25-2015, 01:53 PM   #2
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Re: Deciding to WOHM

Okay if you're like most FTMs you want everything to go perfectly and that can be very stressful. I went back to work after 10 weeks with #1 because I couldn't hold my position any longer (I also work in a school) and I had to work. It was very emotional and tough, but we made it through. With #2, I timed it so I would have 5 months off and we have sacrificed so I can work part time. I wish I could stay home but we worked out a schedule so we don't need child care. It sounds like your husband can watch LO while you are working. It will be sad to go back but you get back into the routine and it becomes okay. If you have to work for financial reasons, maybe you can do it just until your husband finds a job. If your family is comfortable supporting you or you have savings or whatever, you can either try it out or stay home and find a new job eventually.
Mama to DD 12/2012 and DS 03/2015 two & through!
EBF, co-sleep, & CD. Getting crunchier every day.
PT School Psychologist working with special needs
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Old 07-26-2015, 04:53 PM   #3
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Re: Deciding to WOHM

FTM, and as our LO isn't due until November, I don't have experience yet with the transition. But we had to make the same decision. I had always planned on being a SAHM but we decided that I would go back to work. I work PT in a school and my check, meager though it is, is significantly more than the inexpensive DC option we found. (I'm lucky though that we found a great DC option that I'm really comfortable with.) I know I will be really upset when I have to take LO to DC but we would be cutting it excruciatingly close and wouldn't be able to save at all without my paycheck, which would be another source of stress. I also probably wouldn't get my job back, and I need to keep my proverbial foot in the door because I will be looking for a different position in the future.

A positive for you is that you'll get to have several months with LO. I'm going to have to go back after 6-8 weeks and I'm sad that it will be so soon! But working in a school, I know there will be random Mondays off, Spring Break, and then Summer will be here so I'm trying to focus on all that - lots of moms don't have that!
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Old 07-31-2015, 10:48 AM   #4
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Re: Deciding to WOHM

IT's a hard choice to have to make. I didn't want to go back, but I didn't have any choice. You have plenty of time to come to terms with it or explore your options. Once #1 was about 2, she needed A LOT more stimulation than I could provide. She is now 4 and I would go crazy if I had to stay home with her. It's hard at first, but it does get easier.
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Old 09-17-2015, 04:34 PM   #5
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Re: Deciding to WOHM

I had to go back at 8 weeks, and I thought I would hate it, but I ended up being relieved. I figured I could always opt to SAHM later if I wanted, but my job wouldn't stick around forever.
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Old 09-18-2015, 05:20 PM   #6
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Re: Deciding to WOHM

First and foremost, are you financially able to stay at home? You say your husband is not working, so who would make money if you stay at home?
If you are the main source of income, then you probably have no choice but to work.
If you have money, then I see no reason why you shouldn't stay home with your baby. You can always find another job. But your baby isn't always going to be a baby.
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