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Old 01-12-2012, 01:41 PM   #1
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Growing my family....

DH was very upfront about wanting a big family...me not so much. Starting out our marriage wanting zero little ones and now having 3 little ones 5 YO and younger....I love it. I really love my kids.

My problem is my side of the family is so negative when DH and I talk about having more. Now I have high risk preganancies, but the outcome is a beautiful baby that I find more love for than I've known.
I tend to shrug off their negative attitude, but it makes me question whether or not they will love the 4th, 5th, 6th, etc...child as much as the others. Why are they so negative anyway?

All I can think of is that I parent so different than they did and they don't see eye to eye with my ways...(extended BF, co-sleeping, CDing, etc....). I dislike when I have to break out my, "well you got to parent your kids your way and I get to be the parent now, my way!"

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Old 01-12-2012, 01:46 PM   #2
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families can be so annoying. lol of course they will love any and all kids you have. they will probably just think you are crazy I'm the mean time. lol
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Old 01-13-2012, 01:27 AM   #3
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Re: Growing my family....

They are probably negative because it wouldn't be something they would do, so they do not believe you should do it either. It is an idea that they have to grow on to. Remember, a lot of people still believe the perfect family has 2.2 kids and a white picket fence.
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Old 01-13-2012, 10:28 AM   #4
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Re: Growing my family....

I would stop mentioning your plans regarding family size around your folks.It's not their business and if they have and sense they will love your kids, regardless of how many you have.

My mom seems to feel that no sane person would plan to have more than two children and that smart folks stop at one.....She has three kids, two planned and one accident. I hate to think of how it make my younger sister feel to hear how having more kids is terrible and to be avoided at all cost.
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Old 01-13-2012, 10:58 AM   #5
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Re: Growing my family....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pyrodjm View Post
I would stop mentioning your plans regarding family size around your folks.It's not their business and if they have and sense they will love your kids, regardless of how many you have.

My mom seems to feel that no sane person would plan to have more than two children and that smart folks stop at one.....She has three kids, two planned and one accident. I hate to think of how it make my younger sister feel to hear how having more kids is terrible and to be avoided at all cost.
I agree with this. Just don't mention it to them.

I deal with this kind of attitude a lot from my own family. We have 4!
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Old 01-13-2012, 11:03 AM   #6
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Re: Growing my family....

Perhaps in your case it is concern for your health? I have 4 and have some health issues(mostly mobility/pain related). I try to just nod and smile when my mom brings it up several times a month. Can you say beat a dead horse? Interesting because my sister is expecting again and my mom has been watching my nephew at no cost for 4 years because my sister and her DH can't afford childcare?? As long as you are taking care of your children they really have no place to say anything. We have similar parenting views to yours and have a small house 1200sq ft. The small house REALLY seems to get peoples goat.
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Old 01-13-2012, 10:24 PM   #7
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Re: Growing my family....

I also had the thought that perhaps they are just worried about you if you have high risk pregnancy issues. This might be true even if they claim to have other reasons, you know-- underlying emotions and all. If that is the issue, I would think that once the baby arrives they would love it just the same.

Otherwise, I might recommend a book I read recently called "Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids" (The "selfish" part of the title is kinda tongue-in-cheek) Maybe the ideas in this book would give you fuel for the conversation.
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Old 01-14-2012, 12:14 PM   #8
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Re: Growing my family....

Thanks guys. I'm at 3 now and would really love 4 at least (DH wants more). I do think its a combo of my high risk and my different parenting ways/views. It weighted on my mind a lot lately. I usually try to shrug it off, but its always at the back of my mind. We're happy and that's all that should really matter!
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