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Old 01-13-2012, 11:46 AM   #1
fulloflove2
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depressed

I had my twins at 27 weeks and they stayed in the nicu for 12 weeks. I was worried the whole time they were there. I kept thinking if I could just get them home. Well they came home the end of November and now I feel so stressed and depressed. I couldnt make enough milk to continue breastfeeding. So I stopped that. My son's ears were messed up from NICU. The rims looked pinched and pointed. So I decided the end of December to start using cloth tape to shape them back in place. I asked dr and she said that it would probably help since his ears were still soft. So I have been doing that for 3 weeks and it does seem to look better. I hate seeing the tape on his ears though but they are helping and I want to do what I need to do to help now while I can. We dont go anywhere anyways except for the doctor. I was told to keep the babies in during flu and RSV season. I do feel embarrassed when people come to visit and they see tape on his ears. I dont know how long I will have to do it for. So that makes me so depressed. I honestly wished I would have done it for my first child. My first son's ears stuck out so bad and I had several older people tell me that in the old days they use to tape their childs ears back. Well I didnt and then he got picked on so bad that I ended up having them pinned back for him. So why does it make me sad and depressed about taping my baby's ears back?

I also have had a cold that I just cant seem to get over. Ive had it for around 2 weeks now. Im worried they might get it. I had a friend stop by the other day and then the next day she had a stomach virus so then that had me worried they had caught that. I feel like I just worry so much.

I stay home every day and my husband is back at work Monday thru Saturday. I feel like when he comes home at night thats when Im cooking supper, getting bottles ready for the whole night, my husband helps me with their baths, help my oldest son with homework, giving them their acid reflux medicine and then trying to keep them awake until 9:00 last feeding before putting them down. Then we hit the sack right after they do. My husband has to get up at 3:30 in the mornings to go to work. So I get up with them all night and then I try to sleep during the day some but then I wake up and feel like my whole day has gone by and then I just get really depressed.

I am just so depressed. I dont have any health insurance so I really dont have the money to go to the doctor. I did call my doctor and he prescribed me xanax but he wouldnt prescribe me zoloft unless I came to see him in 4 weeks after taking it. So I cant afford to go to dr right now. Is there other things I can do? Please tell me it gets better.

Sorry so long just needed to vent.

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Old 01-13-2012, 11:50 AM   #2
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Re: depressed

Do you have a pastor or other trusted person to talk to? Don't be afraid to ask for help!
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Old 01-13-2012, 11:53 AM   #3
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Re: depressed

Mama that sounds so rough It will get better, sometimes just not as fast as we would like. Is there no friends or family to lend a hand. If only you were our neighbor
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Old 01-13-2012, 11:56 AM   #4
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huge hugs
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Old 01-13-2012, 11:59 AM   #5
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Re: depressed

I have had 3 of my neighbors spend the night and 1 of my friends too. That did help to give me a good nights rest but thats it. My parents work and my MIL only comes once a week and she will come at like 7:00 at night. That gets on my nerves because she doesnt help but holds them and then they fall asleep. That makes it harder for me to get them to go to bed at 9:00. She works 3 days a week. All my friends and neighbors work all week. I dont want my pastor to think Im nuts or something. We havent been back to church because im suppose to keep them in right now. The doctor said she wouldnt take them out until April or May. I did pack them up one day and wne to my moms but then when I got there I was so worn out trying to hall twins around that I came back home.
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Old 01-13-2012, 12:03 PM   #6
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Hugs! I have 8 week old twins and a 23 month old. I have needed so much help and it makes it better. I was able to connect with a local church who had so many ladies (mainly retired or stay at home moms with school aged children). A group of 6 of them have a schedule to come and stay with me for a few hours so I can clean, make bottles, sleep. shower etc...). They are always bringing food too which is a huge help. Even if you're not religious people want to help and love holding babies. Another rersource you might try is calling your town and asking for their seniors group number. So many of the ladies have told me what a treat it is for them to hold a baby.
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Old 01-13-2012, 04:49 PM   #7
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Old 01-13-2012, 05:09 PM   #8
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just wanted to offer hugs.
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Old 01-13-2012, 05:20 PM   #9
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Re: depressed

Is there a reason they need to stay up until 9? (not judging, my kids go to bed at 9 most of the time too. They used to not even have a bedtime)

Putting them to bed earlier could mean an extra hour or two you can have for yourself, or to spend with your husband, or get things done around the house.

I don't really understand why, but it seems the earlier my kids go to bed, the longer they sleep. I read that in The No Cry Sleep Solution and it turns out to be true.
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Old 01-13-2012, 05:51 PM   #10
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Re: depressed

If you are already involved in a church (or have been) then contact them and ask for help. The pastor is not going to think you're crazy and there are probably lots of women who would love to help you out during the day. I know a few years ago a lady in our church had triplets and there was a rotation of women that came in and helped her every day. Because there were like 10 of us on the list then none of us felt overwhelmed with helping her, it was like once a week or two weeks, and she felt like she had so much help. There were a couple of older ladies that loved babies that stopped in almost every day and helped with diapers and bottles and holding. A good friend of mine had the same kind of help when she had her twins, some ladies would stop by (on a scheduled rotation) and just help her out and a lot of times they would help with dinner or bring a meal. Definitely reach out to the church and see if you can get some help. Blessings to you and good luck :-)
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