Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-27-2012, 12:44 AM   #11
Annie477
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: California
Posts: 53
My Mood:
Re: My ex has stopped paying CS...again

Agreed! Can't believe I forgot to mention the most important part
After the divorce, I was all business when I had to deal with x. My preference was via email so that I had documentation. It's hard not to let your emotions take over, especially soon after a divorce or breakup. Child comes first. Period. They never get it though - do they? Mine (x) never did......12 years later and he still randomly whines about paying cs.....but I don't care and you shouldn't either and let's not forget.....you don't owe him an explanation.....regarding how you choose to spend the cs (notice I said "the" and not "his").

Advertisement

Annie477 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-27-2012, 06:33 AM   #12
Beaners_Mom's Avatar
Beaners_Mom
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 2,448
My Mood:
It was being directly taken out of his unemployment..so either that ran out or he didn't file his claim for this week. I tried discussing his plan for what happens after unemployment runs out and he bad nothing. I told him it was unfair of him to lay the entire responsibility of her care on me (especially when I gave him the option to bow out...I told him it was all or nothing and he decided, after almost a year, that he wanted to be around). I would have dropped child support and everything if he wanted nothing to do with her & just walked away. When we sat down and talked he said he wanted to be a part of her life and accepted that meant paying child support. I pay for everything out of that & what I contribute. I pay for her schooling, anything medical that comes up, her clothes (even the ones I send to his house), I send food over there, I sent a bed over there...and so on. He *very rarely* has to buy anything for her while she's at his house (including soaps & toothpaste) because he just won't. His logic is "I pay child support, I shouldn't have to buy anything for her". I'd rather buy it & send it to his house over her not having milk or clothes over there.
__________________
Jessica
Partner to my S Mama to my Gabby and Duncan
Beaners_Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-27-2012, 06:38 AM   #13
Beaners_Mom's Avatar
Beaners_Mom
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 2,448
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie477
let's not forget.....you don't owe him an explanation.....regarding how you choose to spend the cs (notice I said "the" and not "his").
He knows where it goes though. I would have no trouble saying "hey I spent it on her school & she needed new boots and mittens this week" or whatever. But all he heard was "Disney World" and automatically assumes I don't need it. Or because, when I can, I put a little into a savings account for when she goes to college..I don't need it.

He thinks because his ex-wife only pays him $12 a week for 3 kids (he has 3 from his first marriage) that's all he should be paying too. (in her defense she does do more for the kids than he does).
__________________
Jessica
Partner to my S Mama to my Gabby and Duncan
Beaners_Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-27-2012, 07:36 AM   #14
3rockstars
Registered Users
Formerly: FaeryGnomeHome
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 16,529
Re: My ex has stopped paying CS...again

that's so sad. I've followed your struggles with him for years and this doesn't surprise me in the slightest.
__________________
3rockstars is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-27-2012, 08:03 PM   #15
Beaners_Mom's Avatar
Beaners_Mom
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 2,448
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3rockstars
that's so sad. I've followed your struggles with him for years and this doesn't surprise me in the slightest.
Thanks. It's nice to have a place to vent where people get it. If I say anything to my friends they don't understand it or they say "be glad you get something, I only get $25 a week" or something like that. They don't understand that it's not the amount I'm complaining about it's him not paying it. I'd say the same thing if he was paying $25 a week.
__________________
Jessica
Partner to my S Mama to my Gabby and Duncan
Beaners_Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2012, 11:37 PM   #16
Housefullofgirls's Avatar
Housefullofgirls
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,140
My Mood:
Re: My ex has stopped paying CS...again

Quote:
Originally Posted by KrystleO_1027 View Post
I may be wrong but if you went through court they should be able to collect CS from his unemployment right?
Absolutely you can. My 1DD's dad is a jerk. His CS is garnished thru his SS#. So when he's on unemployment or better yet since he also "hurt his arm" aka doesn't want to work either I also get CS on workmanscomp and disablilty. My state is very strict and don;t put up with this crap. 4 years ago he had a warrent out for not paying CS- working under the table and went to jail for it and had to cough up $1800 before he could be released. Can you go to the social services unit child support and have it garnshed. It was very easy for me to do!
__________________
SAHM Momma to 5 girls: 17: 7:
5: 3 & 8 months
Housefullofgirls is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2012, 12:19 AM   #17
*Kate*
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 136
Re: My ex has stopped paying CS...again

I' be upset if I was expecting it and then all of a sudden didn't get it either. Sorry, mama. I know it won't make you feel any better, but my ex stopped working on the books so that his wages wouldn't get garnished. That was about 8 years ago and I haven't seen a dime since then. He's now around 150k in arrears. Money I know the kids and I will never ever see.
__________________
Happily married to my US Navy Submariner SCPO
FT WAHM in Social Media Moderation
Busy mama of 3 with another on the way Feb/12, plus 2 bonus kids!
*Kate* is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2012, 12:50 AM   #18
MinkaK's Avatar
MinkaK
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Vegas :)
Posts: 11,439
My Mood:
Re: My ex has stopped paying CS...again

How difficult. My father has not ever paid child support ( divorced when youngest child was 16, she is 18 now). He left his job so he didn't have to pay ( awesome, right ) and does not mind going to jail bc they provide clothes, food,shelter plus he keeps filing that he needs he more time and then doesn't showup.
__________________
Alana
Mama to my sweet babies 2007, 2009, 2011 and someone new in 2014
MinkaK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2012, 03:05 PM   #19
ccserrano's Avatar
ccserrano
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Nyack, NY
Posts: 815
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyLil'Mountaineers

I agree with everything except the part where you say it only hurts himself by not paying. He's actually hurting his child be not fulfilling his parental obligation.

Also, I've learned that you have to take the emotions out of dealing with an ex. As soon as I did (and I do fall back to letting my emotions get the best of me) my ex knew I was being serious. You don't owe him an explanation. It's just another way he's controling the situation. Don't give him the opportunity.
How do you not let your emotions get the better of you? I'm in the same situation and I'm going crazy....
ccserrano is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2012, 09:46 AM   #20
LoveLikeWinter
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 23
My Mood:
Re: My ex has stopped paying CS...again

I'm right in the middle of this process (just found an attorney to hire to do the custody arrangements/file for CS) and he's already threatening all kinds of lovely things, like quitting his job so he doesn't have to pay, taking him and moving him out of country, etc. It sucks :/ I can only imagine how much it is going to suck years from now when I'm still dealing with this.
LoveLikeWinter is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.