S/O circing - anyone circ older boys and then NOT circ younger ones? or visa versa

[burnsis]

Originally Posted by bluedaisyma when you know better, you do better. It makes more sense to admit you changed your mind, made a mistake, got more education, etc, than to "punish" a future DS by circing if your only reason for circing him would be so you wouldn't have to "admit you made a mistake" with your others. Does that make sense? One of my friends who adopted her DD and chose not to do adoptive breastfeeding once told me if she got pregnant and had a baby, she didn't know if she would breastfeed only bc she didn't want her DD to be upset that she was doing something good for her sibling that she didn't get herself. Made no sense to me. For the record, I circed my 1st 2 boys (18 and 17 yrs ago) and didn't circ the next 3. Had pit and an epi with the 1st, all natural and some homebirths with the others, vaxed the 1st for 2 yrs, the 2nd for a yr and the next 3 not at all. Parenting is a journey and we need to be able to admit to our children that we make mistakes and they need to see us learn from our mistakes. I talked to the older 2 about my regret with circing them and asked for their forgiveness. I have done that with other things I have messed up on as a parent. Even after 18 yrs and 5 kids, I am still learning and adapting my parenting style as I go along.

[CherryPie]

I circd my eldest and I don't have a problem admitting what I did was wrong. My younger two boys are intact.

[momof3boys1girl]

Originally Posted by CherryPie I circd my eldest and I don't have a problem admitting what I did was wrong. My younger two boys are intact.

NAK

[Rainfall]

Thank you mamas! I appreciate the insight. I'm leaning towards NOT circing, but I brought it up to DH yesterday and he prefers to circ. It'll be a lot of talking, but we have months yet to go.

Originally Posted by wordmama Maybe your own words can shine a light on your doubt. Sounds like you were against circing for #2, but your DH convinced you otherwise. I can tell you as the mum of an uncirced boy that keeping it clean has never been as issue. I'd say it's probably easier than a circed penis as you're not caring for an open wound and exposed urethra. That's what a foreskin is for! Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

Thank you mama. Truly, until I started doing more research this week I was still under the impression there was more cleaning and work needed with an intact penis. I looked up a little more info and see that you don't actually retract anything until they're older. I was envisioning having to do that after each diaper/baths/etc.

Originally Posted by bluedaisyma when you know better, you do better. It makes more sense to admit you changed your mind, made a mistake, got more education, etc, than to "punish" a future DS by circing if your only reason for circing him would be so you wouldn't have to "admit you made a mistake" with your others. Does that make sense? One of my friends who adopted her DD and chose not to do adoptive breastfeeding once told me if she got pregnant and had a baby, she didn't know if she would breastfeed only bc she didn't want her DD to be upset that she was doing something good for her sibling that she didn't get herself. Made no sense to me. For the record, I circed my 1st 2 boys (18 and 17 yrs ago) and didn't circ the next 3. Had pit and an epi with the 1st, all natural and some homebirths with the others, vaxed the 1st for 2 yrs, the 2nd for a yr and the next 3 not at all. Parenting is a journey and we need to be able to admit to our children that we make mistakes and they need to see us learn from our mistakes. I talked to the older 2 about my regret with circing them and asked for their forgiveness. I have done that with other things I have messed up on as a parent. Even after 18 yrs and 5 kids, I am still learning and adapting my parenting style as I go along.

See that's just it though. I don't feel like I made a mistake by circing. I feel badly that they went through that as babies for sure. I was sick to my stomach the entire time my babes were taken for the procedure and every single second until their circs healed. But today right now, I don't feel like it was a mistake. It was another parenting decision we made and I'm at peace with it. So maybe that's why I'm so baffled as to why I'm so torn on doing it again. I researched it some with DS2 but ultimately after talking with DH, decided to circ him. I felt terrible about it then, but I've never regretted it. I don't have experience with anyone intact I could ask to get their opinion on it, so all I've known is circ and never thought of it as a negative thing.

I'm doing a little more research now and if the cleaning thing is true, my biggest reason for agreeing to circ DS2 is a moot point. I do still worry about infections though. My brother did have a couple of them when he was younger and my mom told me it was from not cleaning properly. So there's still that little worry. My brother is 16 now, and asking him what he thinks about his penis isn't something I really want to do.

Lots to think about. Thank you mamas.

[bluedaisyma]

my 3 who aren't circ'd have never had an issue, yet my oldest, who was, used to have a problem- he would sleep on his stomach and the pressure of getting an erection and rubbing against his diaper= he would wake up with a blister on the tip of his penis, preventing him from peeing. If he had his foreskin, his pee hole wouldn't have been exposed. I didn't even teach my boys to retract when they got older to clean it, I think it was just common sense. (the 2 older who aren't are 15 and 13).

Maybe if you look at it as it is your DS choice, not yours? It affects his sex life, etc he can choose to get it done later in life if he wants. And if it was a girl, would you get a cliterectomy (or whatever it's called) if that was what was common in your area? (not to say circing is common anymore. It was when my kids were babies, but I don't know anyone around here who does it anymore)