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Old 02-22-2012, 01:18 PM   #1
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For moms who never gave their first child a bottle

I nursed DD until she was 23 months and she self weaned due to my pregnancy and what I guess was a lack of milk. I never left her until she was over a year old and only then for a few hours, she never had a bottle and not due to refusal but because I never offered one or even owned one.

I am due in less than 2 weeks with my second baby. I am feeling really conflicted. I want to give this baby the same attention and attachment I was able to give to DD but am very scared I just won't have that much time/energy with a 2 year old to take care of too. I still haven't purchased any bottles or a pump because I know I will at least just breastfeed the first 2 months.

Was anyone able to never give younger siblings bottles after doing it with their first or is that just not realistic? Also, will I need to give bottles just to get that break? DD was SO ATTACHED!! She still is very close and still sleeps with us and loves snuggling but she is also friendly, independent, smart and a little ham around people so I don't think I did her any disservice by keeping her close as an infant. I just feel like I would be failing the next baby but not giving her the same great and attached start that DD got.

I guess that is my rambling for now and because I am nervous about adding another baby. My original plan was to have closer to a 3 year age gap so I would have more time to devote to the newborn but she is coming and DD will be just 27 months.

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Old 02-22-2012, 01:27 PM   #2
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Re: For moms who never gave their first child a bottle

Well, I can't answer your specific question regarding the BFing.

But I have to just say that it's simply impossible to give the second exactly the same time and attention you gave the first. This is something that every second time mom struggles with so you aren't alone in your worries. But sometimes, baby 2 HAS to cry for just a moment while you extract your 2 yr old from the table because she's flipped out because of the thunderstorm. It's just an unfortunate fact that when you have more than one, your attention is more divided. It doesn't mean you love your second any less, nor am I saying you automatically have to start plopping them in the playpen for hours, or that you can't BF exclusively with your new one or anything like that. It's just that you now have two people at the center of your world instead of one and just like the yin and yang, sometimes one gets a bit more than the other, and then it changes again.
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:14 PM   #3
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Re: For moms who never gave their first child a bottle

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Originally Posted by umphreysmommy View Post
I nursed DD until she was 23 months and she self weaned due to my pregnancy and what I guess was a lack of milk. I never left her until she was over a year old and only then for a few hours, she never had a bottle and not due to refusal but because I never offered one or even owned one.

I am due in less than 2 weeks with my second baby. I am feeling really conflicted. I want to give this baby the same attention and attachment I was able to give to DD but am very scared I just won't have that much time/energy with a 2 year old to take care of too. I still haven't purchased any bottles or a pump because I know I will at least just breastfeed the first 2 months.

Was anyone able to never give younger siblings bottles after doing it with their first or is that just not realistic? Also, will I need to give bottles just to get that break? DD was SO ATTACHED!! She still is very close and still sleeps with us and loves snuggling but she is also friendly, independent, smart and a little ham around people so I don't think I did her any disservice by keeping her close as an infant. I just feel like I would be failing the next baby but not giving her the same great and attached start that DD got.

I guess that is my rambling for now and because I am nervous about adding another baby. My original plan was to have closer to a 3 year age gap so I would have more time to devote to the newborn but she is coming and DD will be just 27 months.

I have only breastfeed each of my babies (no bottles). The first 2 are 19 months apart. You learn tricks. With a 27 month old you can totally do it! Be prepared for the things she will ask for when you sit down to nurse. Have a basket of snacks prepared ahead of time and put where she can reach it and when she wants something to snack on while you are nursing tell her to go get a snack and a book and come and cuddle with you while you nurse baby.

There is a lot you can do with an older one while nursing.... I played dolls, read books, watched a short movie, sang songs, had my hair brushed (when she got a little older). My daughter would "nurse" Rosie, her baby doll, in the chair while I sat on the couch nursing little brother.

Have a box of toys that are only for her to play with while you are nursing. Sort of like some WAHM have "phone boxes" (as in toys kiddo get so to play with while mommy makes calls back...)

And don't be afraid to tell her she will have to wait till you are done with one side! LOL. She will learn to be patient. slowly....
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Old 02-22-2012, 03:12 PM   #4
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Re: For moms who never gave their first child a bottle

DD1 was FF, DD2 is still BFing. I never gave her bottles except while I was at work. But I had lots of family support nearby.
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Old 02-22-2012, 03:17 PM   #5
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Re: For moms who never gave their first child a bottle

My first took maybe 2 bottles ever...my second never took a single bottle. With #2 it is "old hat".
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Old 02-22-2012, 03:22 PM   #6
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Neither my 5 year old or 6 month old have ever had a bottle. The 5 year old is relatively self sufficient, but in any case, pumping would be way too much work for me. (I hate to pump, and I just won't try this time around.) To me, the time and effort to pump would never be worth it, but I know a lot of people have better luck pumping than I did.
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Old 02-22-2012, 03:23 PM   #7
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Re: For moms who never gave their first child a bottle

None of my kids had bottles. My first dd refused them. I did try with her but she wouldn't take one. My ds I maybe tried once or twice but he also refused. I didn't even bother trying with my youngest. I don't think it matters either way if you do a bottle or not. Every baby is sooo different. I found it harder to make time to pump and then have to regularly offer bottles then it was to just nurse. I did leave my babies just not for long periods of time when they were little. My dh would put them in a baby carrier if they got fussy. Once they were on solids it wasn't a big deal at all. If you do give your second baby a bottle I would not feel guilty at all. It won't hurt your attachment. You don't have to give a bottle. I never really felt like I needed to but if you do that is fine too.

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Old 02-22-2012, 04:05 PM   #8
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Good to hear so many moms didn't need to with the second. I really am not interested in pumping or bottle feeding at all just seems like everyone is saying I will "need to" because of time and so DD can feed the baby and DH.
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Old 02-22-2012, 04:34 PM   #9
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I am nursing #4. He is 5 months and has had two bottles of BM when sil kept him. You can do it. With my first I gave him bottles when we were out because I didn't nip until he turned 4 months and refused them. I don't remember #2 getting bottles, but she may have had a few when dh and I went out. #3 got bottles when I started working, she was 6 months and had one bottle a night while I was gone. You can do it!
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Old 02-22-2012, 04:39 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by umphreysmommy
Good to hear so many moms didn't need to with the second. I really am not interested in pumping or bottle feeding at all just seems like everyone is saying I will "need to" because of time and so DD can feed the baby and DH.
It bugs me when people say stuff like that. Didn't you say dd is two? I know when I had a two year old and newborn she liked the baby, but never asked to feed it. She knew baby eats "nummies". As far as dh goes, mine loves that I bf. it gets him off baby duty, lol. If ds starts crying he plays the hungry card.
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