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Old 04-24-2007, 09:39 AM   #1
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5.5 year old still not pooping on the potty always

I'm so frustrated with this situation and I don't know how to change it. I thin I really need to do something before the next school year, because I don't know if the school will take a first grader doing this. Ds has been wearing underwear for almost 3 years, but he still has tons of accidents, and doesn't mind walking around wet and/or smelly. He goes through phases where he does fine for a long time, and phases where he can have 4+ accidents a day. He has problems with constipation which contributes too it. I have tried making him clean it up, sending him to his room until he makes on the toilet (the pediatrician's recommendation), ignoring the accidents, putting him back in diapers, etc. For a while I used to drive around with a half dozen changes of clothes for him in the car just in case. He also almost had to leave school last year and the year before because he had so many accidents there. He was doing better for a while, and even stopped wetting at night, but now all of the problems are back. He also runs away from us whenever we notice that he is wet or dirty so I have to chase him around in order to clean him up.

Last week one day he pooped in his pants at school a little, and was wet when he got off the school bus. I changed him into a bathing suit for swimming lessons, which he pooped a little in before we left so I had to change him again. Then he wet his pants again after we got home. Yesterday he came off the school bus with poopy pants in backpack and poop in the underwear he was wearing. He seems to go in little drips and drabs until he has a large poop finally, and he wets his pants more frequently when he is constipated.

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Old 04-24-2007, 09:42 AM   #2
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Re: 5.5 year old still not pooping on the potty always

I have no idea and no suggestions, but wanted to offer because I know the feeling of frustration and hopelessness (like you've tried everything and are at a loss).

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Old 04-24-2007, 09:43 AM   #3
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Re: 5.5 year old still not pooping on the potty always

I would take him to a specialist for this. He might have issues such as Iritable bowel movements or somehting like that where he cant hold it or control it?? Does he have problems in any other part of life?? Also is there anything that is different such as a new move or dvorce?? because it sounds like he is regressing?? IDK?? I would def take him to a specialist to help.
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Old 04-24-2007, 09:50 AM   #4
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Re: 5.5 year old still not pooping on the potty always

He may not feel the urge. I know a little boy who doesn't have fully developed nerves in that area and just doesn't know that he needs to go until it is too late. He is on a schedule and just sits on the potty the same time every day- and that works fine for him. Are there dietary changes you can make to help him become more regular? I can see how this could be frustrating for everyone involved.
Also- a chiropractic adjustment can help him feel the urges better. Tell the chiropractor what your issues are. This made a world of difference when DS #1 started wetting his pants after we had a car accident.
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Old 04-24-2007, 09:52 AM   #5
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Re: 5.5 year old still not pooping on the potty always

Maybe if you get the constipation issue worked out, the rest will just fall into place? Have you tried a new diet, something to keep his bowels going normally?

Maybe a doctor could help guide you?
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Old 04-24-2007, 09:57 AM   #6
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Re: 5.5 year old still not pooping on the potty always

Quote:
Originally Posted by mistylaureena View Post
I would take him to a specialist for this. He might have issues such as Iritable bowel movements or somehting like that where he cant hold it or control it?? Does he have problems in any other part of life?? Also is there anything that is different such as a new move or dvorce?? because it sounds like he is regressing?? IDK?? I would def take him to a specialist to help.
I was going to say this. I really think a specialist might be helpful in this situation. especially if its happening at sschool, I teach 1st grade adn even the kids who have accidents are slighly embarassed. I dont think he is doing it on purpose, but I really think its somehtinng he cant help. anyhow for you and him.. I hope this gets resolved for you two.
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Old 04-24-2007, 10:11 AM   #7
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Re: 5.5 year old still not pooping on the potty always

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cristina View Post
He may not feel the urge. I know a little boy who doesn't have fully developed nerves in that area and just doesn't know that he needs to go until it is too late. He is on a schedule and just sits on the potty the same time every day- and that works fine for him. Are there dietary changes you can make to help him become more regular? I can see how this could be frustrating for everyone involved.
Also- a chiropractic adjustment can help him feel the urges better. Tell the chiropractor what your issues are. This made a world of difference when DS #1 started wetting his pants after we had a car accident.

I was having similar problems with my DS, which lasted until well after 10. I thought it was because his sense of what the urge was was all contorted because my sister was watching him during potty training and she would put a pullup on him and leave him in it for long periods of time, whether dirty or not.

What I discovered later was a) he didn't comprehend what the "urge" was and b) when he did feel the urge, it was often too late anyway, so he would hide behind chairs and do it in his pants. I don't know if the second part was a shame thing or not.

I eventually actually had to teach him the mechanics of it and empower him over the process. He simply was not picking up on the sensory side of it, so he had NO idea what I was talking about. I eventually learned that he has other sensory issues, where it would seem he is ignoring his body's cues all together. He is because he doesn't process what those bodily cues are.

My suggestions:
1. Take him to a specialist with as much information as you can of the details of when/where it is happening and why.
2. Talk to him about the process. Make it just matter-of-fact. If he has a mess, just "take care of the business"' of cleaning it up. (When I didn't understand the why behind it, I would get so frustrated and would actually yell; when I realized it was beyond his control, I was much more patient).
3. With my son, we talked about what foods cause us to go more, or less. Was there a certain time of the day? Any weather changes that influence it? Any social situations? Get him thinking about the process rather than the "I'm in trouble" side of it.

I think they just need to be taught the mechanics. For some, it is instinct. For others, they literally need it scripted out for them.
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Old 04-24-2007, 10:24 AM   #8
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Re: 5.5 year old still not pooping on the potty always

my nephew was going through something similar at one time last year, he's 8, he had an impaction that landed him in the ER and he was afraid to poop after that so he'd hold it and started having issues. My brother and sister in law tried everything, more fiber in his diet, more water, exercise, then they took him to a gastro and he/she put him on Miralax once a day (I think you can get this OTC now, cause I have seen it in the stores, but not sure if it's the same for kids vs adults) and it pretty much solved his problem. Obviously talk to the doc first, but it may help. Good luck mama.
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Old 04-24-2007, 10:55 AM   #9
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Re: 5.5 year old still not pooping on the potty always

Oh my gosh - you HAVE to read what I just went through with my almost 5 year old!!!!!!!!!

HERE IS THE INITAL POST OF MINE

An now on to H2

We are having major potty issues. He has never been the "perfect" no accident kid, and at times, I thought I would pull my hair out...

Then -
things would go fine - and I would think we are on track - and back and forth and back and forth

After reading everything under the sun about how normal this is - there were a few key things to look for - and I never wanted to find them - but here we are...

A change in pattern:
He is regressing to the point of having accidents at school - something he has never done before. He has been at that school since sept of 05 - so this is a definite change.

My thoughts are running to the more serious stuff - we just had an incident at my MIL daycare where another 5 yo boy asked a 6 yo to play games with his penis and said he would break his toys if he told.....

HERE IS THE INFO YOU NEED TO READ!!!

So we go in….
Talking with her – she thinks he’s constipated… huh… what? She palpitates his stomach...


Your child is constipated if one or more of the following are true:
He or she has fewer than 3 bowel movements a week. NO
The stools are hard, dry and unusually large. NO
The stools are difficult to pass. NO
Stools that are large in diameter NO
Stools that are very hard NO
Small amounts of bright red blood on the toilet tissue after your child has a bowel movement NO
Stomach pain and bloating NO
Loss of appetite NO
Crying or screaming during bowel movements NO
Avoiding the toilet or resisting toilet training (doesn’t apply per sea)

If your child is having soft bowel movements, then he likely isn't constipated, even if he doesn't have one every day. OK…………


Hunter has…
· AT LEAST 2 bowel movements day
· They are soft and small if anything…
· They are not hard to pass
· He loves fiber filled foods, loves beans, eats a lot of raisin bran, kashi, fresh fruit and veggies… drinks a ton of liquids….


But… Ok I am going along with the Xray… I trust her – she is very much wait and see – (which is also why the fact that she finally referred Holly meant something to me) We talked about his accidents at his 3 ½ and 4 year appointments…. she comes back…
Looking at the XRay
Dr. Brandt - “See all these white spots?”
“Yes…”
“Those are all stool”
“Really? But there are a bunch up into his rib cage”
“Exactly”
“Wow…. Oh wow… I didn’t even think your digestive tract could back up that far… wow…. “


The best and hardest part of the appointment - She got down at his level – she already is but really took him in her arms and looked him right in the eye and said - ”Hunter, this is not your fault. You don’t know when this is happening. It is going to be OK. We are going to help you.”
He literally leaped across the room and into my arms. And we just hugged.

HE WAS SOO HAPPY TO HEAR THIS! His face looked like the biggest burden had been lifted off him. I almost cried. I have not been as understanding as I should have been. I was at my wits end with 4-5 DAILY accidents, which seemingly had no pattern. He was like – "see mom you can still love me and not be mad at me. " Ugh – my heart still hurts thinking of this. He didn’t say it – but I just felt it. I mean I tried to be calm through this – but he knew how disappointed and how frustrated we were. The whole concept that they do this because they are too busy to stop playing - and we were trying to tell him over and over to listen to his body…


She drew out a picture for Hunter of the whole digestive tract…. She explained that stools were filling it up and that when he eats, where his food gets digested and where it the waste tries to go to dry out (he got this all – thanks to the Magic School Bus) that part of him is full past capacity and has continued to keep backing up further and further. Then, the liquid that does push past in the small areas is just expelled out. His body doesn’t even recognize it, because the nerves have been pressed on so much from the still that they don’t have the same sensation.

LIGHT BULB – when you would ask him if he was wet, he would grab his pants to check, he really didn’t know. I noted that in my original thoughts that it was weird, like there was no sensation…


Apparently some children with severe chronic constipation develop a blockage, past which liquid stool sometimes leak, causing your child to have accidents. This condition is caused encopresis. He doesn’t leak poop – but he has had a few “skid marks” occasionally – which was also a tell tale sign…. I look back to him a year ago with all the poop accidents…. They were all runny – geez – could I have caught this a year ago??????
Where we go from here.


She has prescribed Miralax for 4-6 months It is a prescription strength stool softener that is odorless and tasteless and well tolerated by most children. The diet is interesting because we do mostly this already… so it looks like the biggest changes will be severely decreasing milk/ cheese and bananas…. but the basic info was
· Increasing fluids
· Increasing fiber
· Increasing
· Decreasing constipating foods: Limit milk, cheese, etc.


We may (most likely will) have more accidents as his body clears out. Some of it may come at such a force, we may have poop accidents, because of this, we need to set a timer and have him go every 30 minutes. She explained that to him that he should have a SMALL reward for this. 1 M& M for every time he listens to the timer and gets up and tries – or a sticker chart for his skateboard, something that means something to him. He has to retrain his body to feel again. After a few weeks, he should be good to go just listening to his body.


Never would have gone there….. he has none of the regular signs


________________

it has been almost 2 months - Within that time we have had 3 accidents!!!! THREE that is it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 04-24-2007, 10:56 AM   #10
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Re: 5.5 year old still not pooping on the potty always

I have first hand experience with this also. It's called encopresis, google it. Really your son has no control over it. Please take him to a specialist.

My DD has had so much anxiety over her problem that I think it's made the entire situation worse than it actually is.

Please, please see a specialist. This can be very psychologically traumatizing/embarrassing for a child.

from a Mommy who knows.

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