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Old 04-24-2007, 11:22 AM   #1
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Unhappy Updated 4/25***Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

My DD who is 6 months old is having serious allergie issues. She has had to be on breathing treatments, singular, and zyrtec. . Well this past weekend we went to my parents house (who BTW have a three yr old). We spent friday night saterday night and then came home sunday. Well by saterday afternoon DD was coughing a lot again and was needing her breathing treatments. She was doing so much better b4 we went there and was not needing the treatments at all. I took her to the dr today to talk about smoke allergies. Obviously the somke will irratate the allergies, but I was a bit concerned that maybe shes flat out allergic to the somke. DH smokes, but only out side.

I just don't know how to tell my parents that they can't smke around her anymore. I tried to go out side or to the back room when ever they were smking, but they smoke like a damn chimney so it was hard. I don't feel I should have to even ask, but you know how that goes. If they can't smoke out side while my DD is there then we wont be going over there any more.

The Dr said that they will want to do allergie testing when shes closer to a yr old. Because they think that shes allergic to more then pollen. Maybe smoke, foods, etc.. This is all so upsetting. Anyone with advise??

Nikki


YAY, I called the parents and told them . I said that I had to take DD to the dr. today bc her allergies have gotten worse since being at there house. I told them exactly what the dr told me. My parents were very nice about it and said sure we will smoke outside. NP !!! I was so releived. They both said that they would do anything for there grandkids. And that they had been thinking about taking it outside anyways. Mostly bc of my baby brother who is three Also they are hoping it will help them to not smoke as much..

I was a child hood asthma suffer my self. I do know how it feels to struggle to breath. And to have to make ER visits all the time, and not be able to play sports. It's hard on a child. When we go to my parents house this weekend for my brothers birthday I'm going to talk more with them about quiting. Thank you ladies for all of your support!!

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Last edited by Nikkis_Little_Ladies; 04-25-2007 at 06:15 AM.
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Old 04-24-2007, 11:40 AM   #2
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

You really can't tell your parents that they can't smoke in their own home. You can explain about your child's allergies, tell them that the smoking makes them worse, and you can ask them if it would be possible for them to smoke outside when you visit. In a very calm, non-confrontational, non-judgmental way. Hopefully, they will be accomodating.

Ultimately, though, it is their house, and if they choose to continue smoking indoors when your DD is there, you may have not choice but to tell them that is the reason you are unable to bring their grandchild to visit them.

This kind of situation can be really tough to deal with, some smokers are very defensive and hostile whenever they feel their habit is being attacked. Others, like my dad, are very considerate, and the subject never has to be brought up. I really hope this works out for you.
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Old 04-24-2007, 11:43 AM   #3
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

it is hard but your babe's health and safety come first. My dad smokes and I didn't have to say anything about not doing it around DS but I do ask my dad to wash his hands before holding him. He gets a little offended but I am doing lots of things to make sure DS gets a good start and that is just one of them!
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Old 04-24-2007, 11:44 AM   #4
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

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Old 04-24-2007, 11:45 AM   #5
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

For me, this would be simple (and it has been). Just tell them flat out - You understand that it's their house and they can do what they want but can you please smoke outside when you're over. It's not good for your dd (or anyone else for the matter!) to be around it and now it's seriously starting to effect her health!

If they can't stop then I would not bring my kids over there. Period. I went to visit my dh's grandma for the 1st time and asked prior to our going if she could please smoke outside while we were there and she did so, without any hesitation. I would except any other person to do the same considering it's a well known fact that smoke is harmful, especially to babes.
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Old 04-24-2007, 12:10 PM   #6
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

I would just tell them, the DR has recommended that my child be kept away from cigarette smoke due to her allergies. I noticed a big difference during the time that we were visiting. Do you think we could have the cigarette smoke outside while we are visiting? If they don't want to do that, I would just let them know that your child will not be able to visit at their home while there is smoke present. I have left situations such as that, to keep my kids away from cigarette smoke.
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Old 04-24-2007, 12:52 PM   #7
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

My mother and her boyfriend are both heavy indoor smokers. She asks why I never visit and I flat out told her it was because she smokes in her house and had already previously told me that she wouldn't smoke outside while we would be there. I'm not subjecting my son to that kind of environment. She also throws a fit each time she visits here and I send her outside to smoke. She just doesn't get it.
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Old 04-24-2007, 01:01 PM   #8
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

i agree with the poster thatb suggested asking fi they can smoke outside when your over, they should know second hand smoke is fatal too and should want to keep their grandkids safe and healthy. my dad smokes alot but will not smoke in my home when he comes over and will go outside when we go to his home, we never had to ask, he just offerred which made it easier for us, goodluck mama
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Old 04-24-2007, 01:06 PM   #9
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

You just have to tell them that as much as you hate to do it, they need to make the choice between seeing their grandchild or smoking. If they need to limit their visits to 1 hour spans to avoid smoking around her than so be it. Maybe it will move them to STOP SMOKING completely! My mom just did after 35yrs and my dad is still going strong after that long but has tried in the past. They both were respectful enough to not smoke around my babies or me, while I was pregnant especially. My dad smokes outside and always has, in CA it's just kinda custom now. LOL Anyway, good luck!!
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Old 04-24-2007, 01:13 PM   #10
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

you can also limit the visiting to them coming to your house. Most smokers won't even hesitate to go outside while visiting a non-smokers home. And even if they did go outside their own home to smoke, their house still has it in the walls and air vents which will still cause allergies.

My MIL goes outside to smoke now when we visit. I think it's because her 93 yr old mother is living with her now but when we'd visit before, she'd go into another room and hang out by the door. She's a more considerate smoker.

good luck mama. this is a touchy subject for some people and I hope it works out well for you and your DD.
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