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Old 04-24-2007, 02:00 PM   #11
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

Most of my family smokes. But they do not doit around my babies. even at their houses. My grandma has MS and walks with a walker and will still go into her bedroom or wait til we leave from our visit.

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Old 04-24-2007, 02:49 PM   #12
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

If you really think he's allergic to smoke then asking them to not smoke when you visit won't be enough most likely. My ILs both smoke and know I didn't want dd around it. So they never smoke when we come to visit - but will smoke up until we get there. I always have to change my clothes and dd clothes because we stink when we leave. That smell stays in the air for a long time. But I figure at least they are thinking about dd when we're there and that is better than nothing.

As for how to tell them. Probably the best thing to do is tell them your dd is having a lot of allergy issues and the smoke is making it worse when you visit. Tell them they'll have to come visit you from now on unless they can stop smoking inside while you visit.
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Old 04-24-2007, 02:59 PM   #13
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

I have had asthma since I was a year old. I have to take an inhaler sometimes just from being near a smoker who is not smoking. I would not want my child to have that feeling. When it comes to protecting my children, feelings come in second. I hate to be harsh, but if you ever knew what it felt like to not be able to breath and then have to take treatments and feel like you are going to jump out of your skin from the way it speeds up your heart rate, you would not allow them near her at all until they quit! I am NOT kidding. I would not say this if she did not already have respiratory trouble at a small age. I know how it can be to want to spare other's feelings. My parents have cats and I am extremely allergic. In order to go to their house, I have to take Claritin a day before, the day I am there, and the day after. They thought i was kidding. One time, I ended up in the ER with breathing treatments and prednisone when I was pregnant because I did not take it the day before I went just took it on my way over. I did not go over until I after I gave birth because I did not want to chance harming my baby. Would it really be so bad for them if they had to quit for their grandchild?
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Old 04-24-2007, 03:01 PM   #14
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

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Originally Posted by Rhianna'sMommy View Post
If you really think he's allergic to smoke then asking them to not smoke when you visit won't be enough most likely. My ILs both smoke and know I didn't want dd around it. So they never smoke when we come to visit - but will smoke up until we get there. I always have to change my clothes and dd clothes because we stink when we leave. That smell stays in the air for a long time. But I figure at least they are thinking about dd when we're there and that is better than nothing.

As for how to tell them. Probably the best thing to do is tell them your dd is having a lot of allergy issues and the smoke is making it worse when you visit. Tell them they'll have to come visit you from now on unless they can stop smoking inside while you visit.


Both my ODS and I are horribly allergic to cig smoke. My father's wife is a smoke stack and insists on smoking in their house. We have told both of them that we can not be around the smoke. She doesn't smoke when we are there and she doesn't even smoke in the house the days that we go over but it still affects us. We have resolved the issue by not going over. If they are going to visit, they come here or we meet someplace. It's nice that they won't do it when they know that we'll be over but once it's in the furniture and carpet, it's going to be there for a long time.

ETA: Having her around cig smoke is only going to make her worse and it's only going to make her asthma and allergies worse. I would suggest that you not take her there even if they quit smoking in the house today. My children's health is WAY more important than being PC with my parents, sorry!!!!
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Old 04-24-2007, 03:03 PM   #15
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

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I would just tell them, the DR has recommended that my child be kept away from cigarette smoke due to her allergies. I noticed a big difference during the time that we were visiting. Do you think we could have the cigarette smoke outside while we are visiting? If they don't want to do that, I would just let them know that your child will not be able to visit at their home while there is smoke present. I have left situations such as that, to keep my kids away from cigarette smoke.
Actually that is a GREAT idea. Blame it on the Dr. Tell them the Dr. said that because of all the respiratory trouble your baby has had, she should not be near smoke or those who have been around smoke and have it on them.
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Old 04-24-2007, 03:03 PM   #16
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

"For me, this would be simple (and it has been). Just tell them flat out - You understand that it's their house and they can do what they want but can you please smoke outside when you're over. It's not good for your dd (or anyone else for the matter!) to be around it and now it's seriously starting to effect her health!

If they can't stop then I would not bring my kids over there. Period. "




EVERYONE in my family smokes except me and my DH, so we told - do not smoke around the kids...the first time they lit up in the house and wouldn't go outside, we left. Noone is allowed to smoke around my children or in my house and that's my choice, if they can't respect that, then its obviously more important than seeing their grandchildren/nephews, etc.
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Old 04-24-2007, 03:16 PM   #17
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

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My mother and her boyfriend are both heavy indoor smokers. She asks why I never visit and I flat out told her it was because she smokes in her house and had already previously told me that she wouldn't smoke outside while we would be there. I'm not subjecting my son to that kind of environment. She also throws a fit each time she visits here and I send her outside to smoke. She just doesn't get it.

My In-laws are the same way...the each smoke 2 packs a day.........that's 4 packs of cigarettes in that house...200 cigarettes. There's a constant smog in their house. We only take the kids down when the weather's nice and they can be outside. Otherwise, if there's something special taking place there that the kids should be at, they only go if the house has been opened up ALLL day and nobody has smoked in the house in at least a couple of hours.............needless to say...my kids have only been to a couple of these.

I asked my FIL to leave on Christmas Eve b/c he lit a cigarette in my house. My MIL always says that she smoked around her kids, and they're fine....the kicker?? She's a nurse!!
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Old 04-24-2007, 06:48 PM   #18
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

Ok! My DS has the same problem! I have told friends that because of this serious allergy, my doctor tells me to have them come to my non smoking house. I told them that if my Ds is around smoke, he could very possibly end up in the ER. When all else fails, BLAME THE PEDIATRICIAN!!! That way it isn't you making the choice! Even if yours didn't say that, it works and no one gets hurt!
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Old 04-24-2007, 07:36 PM   #19
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

I'm glad your parents are so devoted to their grandbabies that they're going to move the smoking to outside. I had a hard time getting my SIL and her family (DH and 14yo son) to smoke outside, NOT in the garage. Also getting them to not do it by open doors or windows. It was hard, and still sometimes, they seem to ignore my wishes. When DS was on a nebulizer for a week, they got the message.
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Old 04-24-2007, 09:19 PM   #20
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Re: Help me tell my parents they can NOT smoke around my DD *sigh*

I'm glad that they are going to stop smoking around her. But the bad news is that even if they (and your husband) are smoking outside and coming inside, they are still causing just as much of a problem. Smoke is in their clothes, hair, skin, etc. If any of the hold her, she's inhaling the smoke and it will cause her issues.
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