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Old 03-04-2012, 04:28 PM   #1
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Family Reactions

I was wondering what kinds of reactions you've gotten from your families. We just told our first set of people, DH's mom and stepdad. It was over Skype b/c they live half the country away from us. It was....weird. They didn't really react. We thought for sure it'd be positive, but...nothing. Its wasn't that they said anything negative, but... we got off and were just like WHAT? What just happened?

Anyway, what kinds of reactions, good or bad have all of you had?

BTW, this is our second, if interested.

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Old 03-04-2012, 04:48 PM   #2
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Re: Family Reactions

Hmm... it's our first and the first grandbaby so most everyone has been ecstatic. But today I got a serious cold shoulder from dh's step sisters today. I committed the crime of getting married on one of their birthdays last year and this year... we announced that we were expecting right before her birthday. I'd forgotten. If I had remembered, I would have waited since she was so upset last year but I honestly just forgot. She's 35. You' think her birthday wouldn't be the most important event ever every year but apparently it is and I'm stealing her spotlight. They barely looked at me and didn't say hi... there were only about 10 people so it was kinda awkward getting that much hate from 1/5 of the group.
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Old 03-04-2012, 04:55 PM   #3
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Re: Family Reactions

My mom was really really excited. I was kind of not expecting it because I just had a baby lol. MIL didn't seem to really go either way....I was a little disappointed that she didn't get really excited.
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Old 03-04-2012, 05:19 PM   #4
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Re: Family Reactions

We just texted my MIL and turns out she's just worried. She's worried about the expense and difficulty of having two kids, plus we still haven't finished all our house repairs we started 3 years ago. We told her we're much more prepared this time (definitely more than with DD, we had NOTHING prepared, and had just moved into our first house 6 mo after being married, and had NO savings and LOTS of debt). We've already saved $3000 for the birth and are now starting so save for maternity leave (I work freelance so I *need* to save so that we can pay bills).
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My DD: ever-moving, always-stubborn, my sweet pea, born 8/09.
Coming in November: A new baby!!
ISO: NB covers/fitteds, flats, wool, 'big sister' stuff for a 4YO girl.
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Old 03-04-2012, 07:25 PM   #5
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Re: Family Reactions

Well, these are our 6th and 7th. So, we got mixed reviews.

My parents are thrilled, but they have always been thrilled for us. I expected nothing less.

My husband's parents are a different story. They knew we were doing an IVF cycle and helped with our older kids since they were living with us at the time. They were living with us still when I got the results back and acted happy for us. But, when I called to tell them it was a 3rd set of twins my MIL said, "Really, Oh no!" Then, when I told her it was ID's (2 embryos, only 1 survived and split), she said, "Thank God they didn't both survive and you ended up with triplets." Honestly, we consider all our embryos to be our babies and she knows that. We are thrilled with twins, but were really wanting both of our embryos to survive. I would have been happier with triplets than with losing one of our embryos. It was totally insensitive for her to be happy one of them didn't make it.

My BIL told my husband today, "don't take this the wrong way, but I'd shoot myself." Nice.

Everyone else we've told has been happy for us though.
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Old 03-04-2012, 07:37 PM   #6
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Well this is #6 and we have not told anyone. Both sides of our families are not supportive of us having more. They live in a different state, so we will tell them when I am in the 2nd trimester! I think it is so sad that my own mom will be negative towards another baby..,. But as with the other 5, she always comes around after the initial shock!
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Old 03-04-2012, 08:18 PM   #7
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Re: Family Reactions

I haven't told anyone about our #3 yet. I'm very nervous about telling my family. I know they will not be thrilled as they think we should stick to 2 because of finances and housing issues. It's sad when to know your family won't be excited about this little life. So, I'm not sure how long I'll wait to spill the beans...
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Old 03-04-2012, 09:50 PM   #8
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Re: Family Reactions

It's our first, so pretty much everyone is thrilled. When I told my mom, she was just like, "What? I thought you planned to wait at least a few more years. Were you lying about that?". Well yes, we did plan to wait a few years but God had other plans. Now she's super excited and wants to tell the whole world! I keep getting that response though, since everyone knew we werent trying, the first thing everyone says is "Was this planned?" Who cares??? We are obviously thrilled and there's no reason why it wouldn't be great for us to have a baby now, so please just act a little bit happy for us! Unplanned in no way means unwanted, we wanted this baby from the minute we got that bfp!
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Old 03-04-2012, 10:13 PM   #9
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Re: Family Reactions

THis is the MOST stressful aspect for us, especially for me.

All DH's family is in Mexico and I don't know any of them, so that's not really anything for me.

But for my family it's so stressful. DH and I are not legally married (it's a long story) and my extended family is very conservative, very traditional (both things I really respect) but unfortunately also a teeny bit racist. So they were very, I'll use the word "disappointed" when I got pregnant with DS when we weren't married- and with a mexican baby at that. Although we've been together for 6+ years, and are committed and raising a child together already, and DH is a great father and life partner to me, I know they will see another child as just adding insult to injury since they do not approve.

My mom is excited, my Dad is ALWAYS stressed about the financial aspect of kids and thus is never excited (if it had been up to him, my parents would have had no kids). My housemates (we live in intentional community, so they're like family) are excited. So that's what matters most.

But I am sad that we can't do a big positive facebook announce or anything because my extended family just will see it as an extension of our "sinful" lives.
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Old 03-04-2012, 10:18 PM   #10
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Re: Family Reactions

I guess I am in the same boat as you, Jessie. We planned on having a child, just not so soon. We just got engaged in November and the wedding date was set for 10/13. Luckily we only had the venue and minister booked, and both were fine with indefinitely postponing.

We worried about telling SO's very conservative Catholic parents. He told them alone, so I did not hear their initial reaction, but they both sent me congratulatory texts. My mom is over the moon. My brother died in May, so she is happy to have something joyful. I haven't told my dad and stepmom, even though we are very close and live in the same town. I want to tell in person and they keep cancelling plans to get together! They are both very busy with work and probably wouldn't mind a phone call, but I would like to tell in person.

I've told 3 girlfriends and they are all supportive and excited. I also told the two mom's I work for, and they have been GREAT. It really surprises me who is supportive. The nurse at my primary doc was so excited and said it made her day!
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