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Old 03-09-2012, 04:21 AM   #21
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Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified

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So, do you not have a choice in the matter? Can't you refuse? Inductions for a VBAC do increase the chance for uterine abruption, so that does not seem very safe to me. (Although I was induced with pit during my first vbac and I was fine). That just doesn't make sense to me. I'd rather take my chances at home!
I am not sure, I was told I had to give birthi n a clinic, I am not sure if midwives are not allowed to do home births. I have not asked because the whole idea of birth terrorizes me.

I did call 2 midwives in the area in interview as they handle the prenatal and postnatal in home care.

Some do say they do birthing assistance so I can ask for more info if that expands outside of home births.

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Old 03-09-2012, 04:32 AM   #22
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Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified

If it were me, I think I would try to labor at home as much as possible and roll up in full blown active labor so they don't have nearly as much control. I recognize this might just be an empty suggestion, though, because I deliver pretty quickly and laboring at home for to long might quickly turn into a home birth, accidentally!

Again, I have no idea how this works with a VBAC so if I'm saying something that doesn't work, ignore me. I think you are doing everything right, so far, and the fact that you are brand newly pregnant and already so active in trying to get things worked out is really going to go a long way in making this delivery different than your last. I really pray that it does, anyway. I hate to make a super general statement but first pregnancies are really difficult anyway because you just don't know what to expect and the drs are like, NO YOU HAVE TO... and you are like, oh but the dr said! So, it might be easier now, also because you have experience that you didn't have. Hard to say because there are a lot of variables. I really hope this works out for you. You might consider yoga and meditation to help "right" yourself and reduce your level of fear now so that your stress level doesn't negatively affect your pregnancy.
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Old 03-11-2012, 07:47 AM   #23
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Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified

You need to read positive birth stories and educate yourself. It sounds like you can't trust the system to help you have a healthy birth based on your last experience. Isn't it in Germany that they built an MRI for a woman to give birth in (on her back) to figure out why "so many women" need c-sections? LOL. As if a cold piece of machinery was going to tell them anything...
It sounds to me like your baby wasn't in a good position an all of the stuff that they put you through made it even worse. Educated yourself on the risks of c-section vs. VBAC. Think positively. Ask other moms who have had to make the same decision. Research shows that watchful waiting after Prelabor rupture of membranes has better outcomes with less intervention than induction. prelabor rupture of membranes can be a sign of a posterior baby, which is why contractions may not start until the baby gets in a better position or the cervix gets more ready for labor. You may have a bad reaction to some of the drugs that were administered, which would be a good reason to avoid them if at all possible this time.

I remember reading your birth story, and it was really scary just to read it! I can't imagine how you must feel right now. But information is your friend and will help you to feel more empowered even if you can't choose your care provider. Going in to my first birth, I felt no connection or trust in the doctors at the huge group practice I was in. I refused cervical checks so that they wouldn't do anything I didn't want them to do, labored at home until the last minute, and arrived just in time for the on-call doc to catch. I was fortunate in that my water didn't break before contractions started and my labor was rather quick, but I think that keeping everyone out of the picture until the last minute was one thing that made it that way.
If you attempt a VBAC, I wouldn't wait until the last minute to go in, because I think that some monitoring is safer. But, empower yourself and know that you CAN DO IT and that they don't have to tell you what to do and how to give birth.
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Old 03-11-2012, 09:47 AM   #24
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Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified

ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) doesn't have a group in Germany, but they do have online information and support. A lot of women have been helped and encouraged by their information and support.

I think you need to work out some of your fears before you give birth. Birth is very much an emotional experience. Ideally, an in-person support group like ICAN would be best, but there are some things like HypnoBabies and the book Birthing From Within that deal with emotions, fears, and thoughts during pregnancy and in birth. I have had two great births with HypnoBabies and they have a home study program. HypnoBabies is so good at helping you stay in a positive frame of mind throughout pregnancy.

Also, in your situation, a doula really is going to be vital, IMO. Even if she's not a trained doula, any woman with some experience with birth, understands what birth is like and how labor progresses, and who knows a bit about comfort measures and can help you stay calm will be so, so helpful. That could be your mom, a sister, or a female friend (someone who can stay calm and won't get upset seeing you in pain is better). Women are better suited to this than men. Of course we want our partners to be present at the birth of their children, but we also need consistent emotional support from other women. I would find a clinic/hospital that allows more than one person to be present at the birth--is that an option anywhere? Can you shop around until you find one?

My very brief googling of homebirth in Germany makes me think that the health service pays for homebirths, as long as the midwife is qualified to deliver at home. If this is true, then I think it's an option you should seriously consider.
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Old 03-11-2012, 09:53 AM   #25
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Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified

I think homebirths are covered all but a 300 euro deposit. But I think with vbac they do not allow the midwives to do homebirths because of the additional risks. But i have not asked yet.

I did contact 2 midwives near me and am waiting to hear back and interview them. I can get support starting now throught the pregnancvy as well as lactation support since I still nurse my son. So I am very hopeful I find a midwife who I really click well with. I am starting early because I know exactly what I want and what I do not want after my last midwife and I want to leave time to get to know and if need be seek out other midwives.

Everything is paid for by insurance, outsdie of extra courses like baby care or the 300 euro deposit if you want to secure the miidwife for your birth. But if I can get one, the 300 euro is minimal to me and totally wort6h it, so that is a non issue once I talk to my obgyn and go over the surgical reports to see is she thinks vbac is a viable option for me.

I am hoping that understanding what went wrong last time may eleviate some of my anxiety.

I bought hypobirthing. I plan to buy hypnobabies and I will check out birthing from within as well.

I am just debating buying new verus buying fsot since you do not get the extra downloads, but I think I can buy the downloads directly is that right?
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Old 03-11-2012, 10:02 AM   #26
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Ok, from someone who just lost a baby (as in, four days ago), please find a way to be happy about your pregnancy, God forbid you go through the emotional/physical pain of a miscarriage.

I am actually devastated I won't be able to birth in Germany again. I know we live in different areas and you had a horrid experience the last time. In my experience, you can refuse interventions.

Might I suggest a book by Ina May Gaskin called Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. She is one of the leading midwife's in the world, she knows about birthing babies. (She talks about the phenomenon "the rule of the sphincter" which sounds like what happened to you when your cervix closed shut, it is actually a natural defense mechanism) Also, The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth.
And as a way to possibly avoid another panic attack/ post traumatic birth experience attack have you ever looked into childbirth hypnosis? Hypnobabies has a home study course which may help.

Also, I do not know how far you are from Ramstein Air Force Base, but I know there are some American Doulas in that area, you can google Ramstein Yard Sales and search "Doula" maybe someone would be willing to travel? Or know of a network of Doulas nearer you.

Good Luck, I wish you peace in your pregnancy and birth.
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Old 03-11-2012, 10:09 AM   #27
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Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified

Great I will check out those titles thank you.

I am about 5 to 6 hours away from Rammstein unfortunately. I am down by Freiberg. I think the closest base to me is Stuttgart but that is about 3 hours.

And I am very sorry for your loss mama. I wish that I did not feel this way. It breaks my heart and was the very reason I did not want to spend my next pregnancy afraid. I want to be able to enjoy it and savor it. Not spend my days in tears and anxiety.

Thank you for responding
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Old 03-11-2012, 10:35 AM   #28
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Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified

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ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) doesn't have a group in Germany, but they do have online information and support. A lot of women have been helped and encouraged by their information and support.

I think you need to work out some of your fears before you give birth. Birth is very much an emotional experience. Ideally, an in-person support group like ICAN would be best, but there are some things like HypnoBabies and the book Birthing From Within that deal with emotions, fears, and thoughts during pregnancy and in birth. I have had two great births with HypnoBabies and they have a home study program. HypnoBabies is so good at helping you stay in a positive frame of mind throughout pregnancy.
This. I suggest HypnoBabies. I did Hypnobirthing but I hear Hypnobabies is better. Do the positive affirmations starting now. Train yourself to quickly go into a relaxed state. The sooner you start the better and you need to do it every day. It's all about practice practice practice. Read only positive birth stories. If you can't get a doula is there a woman who would be a birthing partner for you? Someone who will work with you on the hypnobabies so they know all the things to say and who will massage you and stuff? Your husband would be great but it may help to have another woman there too.
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Old 03-11-2012, 10:40 AM   #29
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Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified

My first birth was very traumatic too. Compared to it my second birth was euphoric.
I try not to think of all the trouble it took to bring my little girl into this world. Instead I think about how much I love her and how I lo ve having her in my life.
It's still very early when you start worrying about the birth of this next little baby stop and take deep breaths. Think about how much you love your little guy. Think about how much you already love that little bean inside of you and how it's another sign of of the love between you and your husband. Think about the first time you get to hold baby.
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Old 03-11-2012, 10:52 AM   #30
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Re: I did not want to spend my next pregnancy terrified

Hypnobabies include the tapping techniques? I relied heavily on tapping with my hypnobirthing, even during labor. It has been my tool for me to manage my anxiety. If you aren't familiar with it, for me I can feel the anxiety leave my body as I tap on the various points. It doesn't work for everyone but it's something that might help.
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