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Old 03-09-2012, 09:16 AM   #1
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If you did HB, what did you do w/ sibling?

DH is still on the fence about home birth, and one of his concerns is what to do with DD (2-3 if we ttc soon) while I'm delivering. My labor with her was over 35 hours, so it's not likely we'd have short notice issues.
What did you do with your toddler?
Anyone keep their LO around during delivery?
He thinks she wouldn't understand why Mommy was hurting, but she's very calm and intelligent, I think we could explain in the 9 months prior?

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Old 03-09-2012, 09:22 AM   #2
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Re: If you did HB, what did you do w/ sibling?

It's worked out differently every time with us. With my first home birth my older baby was only 16 months but I labored at night and she was sleeping the whole time. The second time she was 3 and my baby was 2 and I labored during the middle of the day so they stayed at a friends house. With my third hb my kids were 6, 5 and 3 and they all stayed home, I had my sister and her 4 kids here as well and they all played outside, what little they did see of me laboring didn't bother them at all. With my last they were older and just went about their normal day and went to bed about an hour before the baby was born. My room is right next to theirs and it didn't even wake them up.
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Old 03-09-2012, 09:44 AM   #3
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Re: If you did HB, what did you do w/ sibling?

ds1 was with his Noni. We were going to have him be there, but ds2 didn't come until almost 2 am.
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Old 03-09-2012, 09:53 AM   #4
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Re: If you did HB, what did you do w/ sibling?

If it is at night and we aren't bugging her she is going to stay here - I may call a friend over to either stay with her here or to take her depending on how things are going. During the day if it is during the week the same friend will either take her or play here with her son. If its on a weekend then she will have to take her as she has 3 other kids home on the weekend and they are all 8-10.
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Old 03-09-2012, 10:04 AM   #5
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Re: If you did HB, what did you do w/ sibling?

had 2 homebirths and the 1st one I had a 20 mo old and an almost 3 yr old. The 2nd time, the 3 were 24 months, 3 1/2 and 4 1/2. They were with us the whole time. I loved it.

1st birth:
I have a picture of my 20 mo old pouring water on my belly as I lay in the tub and feeding me goldfish crackers as I labored on the couch.
When DS was born, he opened his eyes after crowning and looked right at my almost 3 yr old (who was at my feet watching). He also cut the cord.

2nd birth:
my 23 mo old woke in the middle of the night while I labored and sat with me and waved at the camera a lot. The boys again, hung out with me and (X)H off and on. By the time (later in the morning) I gave birth, the boys had gotten bored (would come hang out and then go snack or watch tv, play, etc) and the toddler fell asleep on my friend's shoulder and they heard me birth (it was sudden, on the toilet, or I would have had them up to see it) and she came upstairs with him and the other 2. The oldest cut the cord once again.

I am not quiet in labor, but if they looked concerned I was able to stop long enough to tell them I was ok and the baby was coming out, etc.

When my 2nd was born, my oldest was 14 mo. He was going to come to the hospital with us for the birth. It was the middle of the night and he and my sis were gonna come as soon as they woke up. DS2 was born before they got there.

6th birth: prob hospital, but we will be having the turning-2 yr old with us.
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Old 03-09-2012, 11:17 AM   #6
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Re: If you did HB, what did you do w/ sibling?

With my first home birth we sent our then 18 month old to a friend's house during active labor, which ended up being about 6 hours.

With our second home birth we didn't have any care arrangements set up for our 3.5 and 2 year old daughters. Luckily they slept through active labor and the birth. This was unwise and I wouldn't try to wing it again.

Third home birth, we sent the kids to a good friend's house for labor, which ended up being a whole day basically, and they were home for about 30 minutes before the birth and were able to watch. It was ideal and perfect for them at 4, 8, 10, and 11.

So my ideal choice for a home birth is to have a friend who is flexible enough to be able to take them elsewhere and/or watch them in the home out of the way of the labor.
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Old 03-09-2012, 11:35 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedaisyma
had 2 homebirths and the 1st one I had a 20 mo old and an almost 3 yr old. The 2nd time, the 3 were 24 months, 3 1/2 and 4 1/2. They were with us the whole time. I loved it.

1st birth:
I have a picture of my 20 mo old pouring water on my belly as I lay in the tub and feeding me goldfish crackers as I labored on the couch.
When DS was born, he opened his eyes after crowning and looked right at my almost 3 yr old (who was at my feet watching). He also cut the cord. (snip)
I am soooo hoping my HB turns out like this. My DD (2) & DS (4) have been very interested in all the books, videos, conversations, role play, etc we have provided to prepare them. DS wants to announce the sex & cut the cord. Most people I talk to think the kids will be freaked out. I guess we have a month to find out!

Thanks for sharing your sweet stories!
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Old 03-09-2012, 11:37 AM   #8
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Re: If you did HB, what did you do w/ sibling?

#1 slept for #2's birth but was going to be there if she would have woken up... for #3's birth 1 & 2 were there... they were 3 & 8 at the time... I explained I would be in pain, but it would be pain that was for a purpose... they did very well... & it was a VERY long, drawn out labor. For #4, it is planned for them all to be there... they will have the freedom to come & go as they please from where I am, unless I am being checked, etc. & then they will have to wait... they also have their own support person the whole time to tend to their needs. Oh, & we get them small gifts from the baby that keep them entertained for a while (dress-up magnet sets, stickers, coloring books, etc... small stuff, but things they like & can bring with them if we need a transfer).
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Old 03-09-2012, 11:47 AM   #9
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Re: If you did HB, what did you do w/ sibling?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TPLmommy View Post
I am soooo hoping my HB turns out like this. My DD (2) & DS (4) have been very interested in all the books, videos, conversations, role play, etc we have provided to prepare them. DS wants to announce the sex & cut the cord. Most people I talk to think the kids will be freaked out. I guess we have a month to find out!

Thanks for sharing your sweet stories!
I honestly have found those I have encountered who think my kids would be freaked out, they themselves have a negative attitude (for lack of a better term) towards childbirth, etc.

I am an extremely private person, but ask DH.. when I have a baby, it's a party! LOL Our DDs have seen birth videos & TV shows, they know what periods are, they know how babies come out, yet they don't know exactly how they are made... & won't until I MUST tell them! LOL They still have an innocence about them, while still having an amazing appreciation & respect for unborn human life, pregnancy, childbirth, & postpartum.

I have told everybody who comments about my kids getting freaked out that I am probably the ONLY way for MY kids to see NATURAL childbirth, & how beautiful it truly is... yes, it hurts... yes, there are bodily fluids & private parts... but who cares... THAT is life... funny that those same people will let their little kids watch R rated movies though ...& call their sons' penises weenies & girls' v's yoo-hoo's, etc...sexuality & human bodily functions make them uncomfortable, I guess .

If YOU have a great attitude about it, your DS will too! He may get worried about mama, but I'd just explain you may yell, cry, moan, etc.... he will be fine! Have a tube of lip balm he can offer you, ice chips, a cool cloth for your forehead, etc. & tell him by offering you those things, he can help you as best as possible.
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Old 03-09-2012, 11:52 AM   #10
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Re: If you did HB, what did you do w/ sibling?

My dd attended the birth of DS1 when she was 4, and both DD and DS1 attended the birth of DS2 (ages 6.5 and 2.5 respectively). They were not scared or worried in the least. I explained it to them and allowed them to watch the videos of their own births in preparation. They were both fascinated to witness such a miracle.


ETA: my mom, sis, MIL, & FIL were all in the house at the time to entertain the kiddos when they were bored, or just in case they chose not to be a part of it.
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