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Old 03-13-2012, 10:47 AM   #11
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Re: Baby shower for second babe?

I'm probably in the minority here on DS, but I think baby showers are awesome... doesn't matter to me what baby is is, the gender, or how soon it is after the last baby. I love going to baby showers, and celebrating each, individual baby!

We had a shower for DS1 and DS2, but not DS3. We won't be having a shower for baby #4, either. I love attending baby showers, but don't like being the center of attention at mine .


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Old 03-13-2012, 12:35 PM   #12
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Re: Baby shower for second babe?

i would never ask for one, whether it was the 1st baby or the 5th, but i sort of feel like, if someone offers to throw you one, go ahead and let them! a friend of mine has offered to throw a "sprinkle" for me, and i've accepted because it was really nice of her to offer and i love the opportunity to sit around with my fav people and talk about my baby! i didn't really feel like i needed one for this baby though, ds is only 2.5, we really have everything. even though this one is a girl, i never really got the whole "buy everything blue for a boy and pink for a girl" thing. if we know we want more kids, why set ourselves up to buy duplicates of everything, just in different colors? so everything we have from ds is gender neutral and will work just fine with this baby. i'm going to do a registry for a few odds and ends that we need, but i don't know that i'll let anyone know about it. i just want the discount when i go through and clear it out right before my due date

the only time i've been to a 2nd baby shower and felt it was tacky was when a friend of mine had her 2nd little girl, her first girl was 17 months, and all the same people had been invited to a massive shower for her too. even then, if someone had offered, ok fine, but she threw a massive fit that no one had offered, and cried to another friend of ours that no one cared about her, so that friend threw her one. puhlease. it was a total gift grab. she threw out some of her old stuff and got new, just because. i think i'm also somewhat jaded because she was 3 months pregnant with her oldest when she got married. again, all the same people involved. many of us were in the wedding. and she was the most horrible, demanding, bridezilla ever. and also threw a fit that she didn't like the shower we'd thrown for her THAT time. so, in the space of about 2 years, i'd paid for a bachelorette party, wedding shower + gift, wedding stuff + gift, and attended 2 baby showers for 2 babies that were the same sex. and she's still mad that we didnt' throw her a "trousseau party" for her wedding. wth? we don't talk much anymore.....but anyways, unless it's THAT blatant that you just want a bunch of new stuff, then i don't think someone else offering to throw you a shower for a 2nd baby is a big deal.

Last edited by Liadan23; 03-13-2012 at 12:36 PM.
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Old 03-13-2012, 01:02 PM   #13
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Re: Baby shower for second babe?

I think every baby/pregnancy should be celebrated. But like others have said, I don't think there should be a big emphasis put on gifts. Getting together and playing all the silly games wouldn't at all be tacky.
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Old 03-13-2012, 01:17 PM   #14
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Well my mother is the queen of old time etiquette and showers are for the first baby in my family. I only attend one shower per friend/family member. I do give a small thought gift when i see the new baby though. Just the opinion i grew up with.
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Old 03-13-2012, 03:08 PM   #15
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Re: Baby shower for second babe?

Yeah, it's definitely the gift grab part that I find tacky. If you can de-emphasize that somehow the tackyness goes away. Honestly I find all "shower" parties kinda tacky, but at least with first babies or first marriages there's some justification for a gift grab. Oddly I didn't feel that way until I had mine, and it just seemed so contrived.

Yes all babies should be celebrated, but gifts don't need to be a part of it. I really don't need anything for my new baby that's coming. Getting together with friends and family would be awesome, but I wouldn't want them to feel they have to get me or the baby anything.
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Old 03-13-2012, 03:23 PM   #16
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Re: Baby shower for second babe?

Originally Posted by aumismommy View Post
What's your opinion? Tacky or not?
IF friends and family WANT to throw you a shower, I think it is far more tacky to refuse based on the idea that second showers are "tacky".

I didn't get a shower with my first DS. My boss and coworkers threw me a shower (just us girls) for this baby, and when baby #2 arrives my sister is throwing me a baby shower/meet the baby party.

I think asking for a shower, any time, even for a first, is tacky, though. Been there, and it stinks when no ones offers to throw one.
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Old 03-13-2012, 03:50 PM   #17
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Re: Baby shower for second babe?

I'm with the ones that say if they offered id be happy, and if not I wouldn't be devastated or hurt or sad. I have no idea what the rules are regarding baby showers. I thought it was one per person,but then there are people in my family that have had one per babies sex...?
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Old 03-13-2012, 05:43 PM   #18
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Re: Baby shower for second babe?

I got two showers for the second baby, lol! We are having a boy and people wanted to give us things. Fortunately my best friend threw one at a restaurant and told everyone to bring gift cards instead of presents, which worked out great because we don't need a lot of stuff, but we are very tight on finances. I got a bunch of Whole Foods gift cards!

Also, most of my friends and family don't celebrate many holidays, so anniversaries, weddings, and babies are some of our main celebrations. Second babies as much as first
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Old 03-13-2012, 07:23 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Jessi621
I think every baby/pregnancy should be celebrated. But like others have said, I don't think there should be a big emphasis put on gifts.

I love celebrating every little blessing with friends and family. It makes the mother feel loved and allows you a chance to welcome a new life.

That said, with this pregnancy I've told everyone to please not organize a traditional shower. We truly don't need anything. I'd much rather host a little backyard gathering of family and friends where we share our stories and enjoy each other's company. More of a casual blessingway!

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Old 03-13-2012, 07:45 PM   #20
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We are expecting our first boy. We had a shower for DD1 who is now 7.5 but not when we were expecting DD2. A friend from church insisted on throwing us a shower this time. So she and another friend are doing it for us. I do not like being the center of attention or on the receiving end of gifts and felt really uncomfortable inviting people to buy us stuff. DH suggested an "in lieu of gifts, a donation may be made to a local charity that helps families" line for the invitation. Made me feel a thousand times better about just having a get together to celebrate family and the upcoming arrival of our new little one. We are lucky enough to be able to buy the boy clothes we will need and already have all the gear. There are people that cant afford to feed their kids and I thought it would be a great thing to help those people. I talked to one friend and she thought it was a great idea. The other friend sent me an email telling me how harsh it was to tell people they couldn't get a gift and that i was robbing people of the gift giving and that I had to let them reword the invitation. Ugh. I'd rather not have a shower than deal with drama.

I'm typing on my iPhone, sorry.
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