Diaper Swappers

firethorn · 06-14-2006, 11:12 AM

I have been watching this one to see where it went. After the poor dugger thread I was not sure. Someone mentioned in so many words that a disabled child not doing chores was not "a burden or a brat" answer to my post.

First we are I hope not speaking of a child with a disability. They are not a burden but a blessing as are all children.

BUT, all children accept those who can do nothing for them selves IE: infants, physically disabled: need to know how to get along in a family, then world situation. It is our gob as parents to teach them to do all things, anything, everything. So it turns out that as the children get older mom gets a little bit of a break. (sort of, we still have to go behind and do it our way or make them stay at it till it is done our way, and that takes just as much time if not more than doing it our selves. Of course this does not apply to all things, some you just have to learn to accept that someone else's way works even though it is not your way. IE: kids teaching mum a few things.

)

For us it is handed over when they show interest and capability.

DS 14y is the best house keeper and can cook to boot. He started at about 3 with chores. (picking up his things)
meals started at about 10y's. He wanted to help so I taught him to use the knife properly and he was short order cook. Then it was put a pot on to boil, etc etc. Cleans the bird cage, chore rotation. Anything I tell him gets done just as I would have done it.

DD 13y only realy started at 11y's almost 12y. With the cooking. But she wanted to help change a diaper when she was 7y. I still don't let her do a new born. It is around 3 or 4 months before I let her take over. Then she does it almost totally. Now that we are cloth I clean the poo out but that's about it. Does chore rotation, cleans the cat box, feeds/waters the birds.

DS 9y has been helping in the kitchen. He can bake cookies almost totally by himself. He is also responsible for 3 times a week cleaning dog pooh from the back yard. (we have 7 dogs.

) And he is responsible for watering them and feeding them. On the weekends DH does this for him.

DD 8y (just turned this week) has been given the chore of getting the clothes from the washer and hanging diapers and clothes go to the dryer. She also gets them out and folds them. She also has "kids" bathroom duty. Making sure it stays clean. (she does not do this wonderfully , I often have to remind her) She wants to go on the core rotation but I have not seen that she is ready for that responsibility.

DD6 helps put away clean clothes makes her bed with sister who is 5y and cleans her own room. A room she shares with 3 other sisters. She sets the table helps DD 3ys to the potty when she needs to go. Tells the dogs to stop barking( a constant chore

) and other little things.

DD5y helps with te bed the room and watches the babies and keeps them entertained. Puts her dishes away (they all do) and again any # of little things I can come up with.

DD3y picks up toys, keeps an eye on DD2y has washed dishes with how ever is assigned to the chore.

DD2y can make her own sandwich or get her own snack(we try not to let her do this) she keeps things fairly clean during the process. Takes off her own dirty diaper and brings it to the proper place, helps out where ever she can.

I wash the laundry, clean my own room and bathroom, pay the bills, do all the shopping, cook most meals, keep up with the garage, home school the kids, occasionally relieve the person on kitchen duty, make all the Dr apts, waste to much time on these forums

, and run a fairly tight ship.

DH feeds the family, puts a roof over our heads, can make a awesome meal from nothing and an even better one from all the right stuff, bathes the dogs, mows the yard, fixes stuff, vacuums the house, has not changed a diaper in years

, and takes the family to the park often 3 or 4 times a week.

Funny thing is, I still have to leave instructions when I leave. Like when I'm laid up in the hospital. The house literally falls apart when I am gone. Dad gets to lax. But he cleans the bathroom and bedroom maticulously so I can be relaxed with new baby. Got to love him.

Sorry so long.

kingwooten · 06-14-2006, 12:12 PM

My ds (6) and dd (7), pick up and put away toys, vacuum the play room and their own bedrooms, make their beds, dust and put dirty dishes and dirty clothes where they go, fold and put away laundry-only when it gets too piled up, wipe down bathroom with a damp rag-no cleaner.
DD (16 mo.) dust-she loves her feather duster and won't let anyone else even touch it, washes her hand prints off the walls with me, picks up toys and shoes, supervises vacuuming and tries to ride on the vacuum.
My dh keeps his recliner warm and mows grass
I do the laundry, dishes, my room, scrub bathrooms and vacuum the living room, try to keep out side tidy, and do all big chores.
We normally spend about 30 min. on all daily chores in the morning and just do maintaining work throughout the day

SandyG · 06-14-2006, 12:18 PM

well i gues im th eminority . david is 3 and he has no dialy chores just yet.
i do our bed. he will do some clean up but that is about it
he will get stuff out fo fridge. its not a daily thing that he does it.
he does like to help but i dont push him to do stuff just yet (as a daily thing)

BlueMango · 06-14-2006, 12:20 PM

My 6yr old currently is responsible for keeping her room and the family room tidy. She also puts her own dishes in the dishwasher. This summer she will be learning how to help with laundry and will be responsible for watering outside plants.

My younger DD just turned three. We will be working on her taking over the family room responsibility so that hopefully that will become her job in the fall so that the older one can move onto other task.

My youngest is just 5mos...so her responsiblities are pretty much just eat, sleep, and be merry!

myajdw · 06-14-2006, 04:39 PM

my ds's are 4 and almost 3 and they both pick up their toys correctly (as in they don't just get thrown into a corner they get organized into bins, but i have to specify to do it "correctly" or they get thrown lol) twice a day, pick up shoes and coats and hats off the floor and put them in their baskets, put their dirty clothes in the laundry room. when they finish eating they dispose of uneaten food, put dishes in sink and wipe up their eating spot. they also take the clothes out of the dryer for me as well. i have a very cute pic of my almost 3 year old "helping" with dishes, but i can't figure out how to get the pic from my cell phone to my computer or i'd share!

ZooCrew10 · 06-14-2006, 04:59 PM

*Firethorn* - Cynthia, your family sure does sound like mine! Mine are pretty proficient in the kitchen too with the exception of my 9 yo possible ADHD son...but I am relieved to know that if I can't feed them due to some event, that they can fend for themselves in the kitchen. Even the 4 yo DD likes to make her own PB&J and looovvves to help me cook (winds up being too many chefs in the kitchen most nights, kwim?) & do the laundry, her self appointed job is folding the towels and dipes, she loves it!

jls~Kain~Drake · 06-14-2006, 06:02 PM

I don't have my 2.5 yr old do anything yet...should I be? Reading this thread I feel like I'm slacking!

I wish my mom would've required more out of me. Mom was the type where everything has its place...and the house was embarassingly dirty if the newspaper was on the couch, ya know? But she didn't really make me do anything. I remember having to make my bed and clean my playroom (throwing everything haphazardly into toy boxes)...and on a rare occasion the dishes. Late elementary school I learned how to mow...and had to do that regularly...then my parents divorced (9th grade) and I lived with my dad...had to do EVERYTHING. Laundry, dishes, bathrooms, entire house except his room, mowing, weedeating, dog poo, you name it! I think at moms I just had to keep my room in some kind of decent shape. As for now..I'm 24yo..dh and I own our own home...I do everything. Laundry, dishes, 80% of the cooking, all the yard work except for trimming trees because he's a goob and likes to climb, work on cars...whether it be changing something I can change or making the appt and taking it wherever for whatever, *all* the house cleaning, everything regarding the children, everything regarding the dog...and I even have to make his dr appts AND take him. I even drove myself to the hospital in labor at 5am and him sleeping in the pssngr seat - but that's a whole other thread! Oh, and because he couldn't watch the 2yo & carry the rundown/in pieces picnic table to the brush pile...I mowed (walking, not a rider) with the 2yo on my shoulders or hip for 1/2 of our large yard. And to clarify in case it soundslike I was putting him in danger - he was safe & secure

But he *is* 35lbs or more...it was quite a chore. And I'm sure it was much easier for me than it would've been for dh to watch him while he moved the picnic table (straight line from pt A to pt B)

SO, what should I be teaching my 2yo and what should I expect him to understand? He's really smart but I find my self saying, well he's too young for that so I won't even try.

anne_josh · 06-14-2006, 07:03 PM

Jen--I wouldn't say you are slacking at all. But a 2.5 year old is capable of putting (non breakable) dishes away, helping sort laundry, etc. My 2 year old gets to put away the tupperware, and he "helps" me with the laundry (his "help" is often more work for me but I let him because it's a good habit to encourage). And he loves to push our carpet sweeper (non-motorized) around.

ZooCrew10 · 06-14-2006, 09:07 PM

Jen, this is the perfect age to get him started. Don't feel like you're a slacker at all! Have him help you as you do things around the house. This age is great because they love to help mom out. Give him a wet sponge or rag and have him wipe down the cupboards or something. Washcloths and dishtowels are a great size for them to learn to fold, etc. My 4 yo and 2 1/2 yo were helping me make a salad tonight by shredding the lettuce and picking apart the cauliflower into smaller pieces (clean hands are always a must...those little ones put their hands in scary places!) and they had a blast esp. the 4 yo who tossed the salad with her hands. They're too funny sometimes!

kkweight · 06-14-2006, 10:10 PM

Klaire will be 4 in August does the following:

Sets the table
Puts dishes in sink
Helps load dishwasher and unload
Helps put laundry in washer/dryer
Helps fold in her own little way.lol
Puts her own laundry away
Keeps her shoes in her room
Makes her bed
Cleans up her toys every night
Waters the plants inside and out
and helps in any way that we need her hands to help us.

06-14-2006, 11:12 AM	#11
firethorn Registered Users Join Date: May 2006 Location: Idaho Posts: 2,226 Ratings: 291 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Chores I have been watching this one to see where it went. After the poor dugger thread I was not sure. Someone mentioned in so many words that a disabled child not doing chores was not "a burden or a brat" answer to my post. First we are I hope not speaking of a child with a disability. They are not a burden but a blessing as are all children. BUT, all children accept those who can do nothing for them selves IE: infants, physically disabled: need to know how to get along in a family, then world situation. It is our gob as parents to teach them to do all things, anything, everything. So it turns out that as the children get older mom gets a little bit of a break. (sort of, we still have to go behind and do it our way or make them stay at it till it is done our way, and that takes just as much time if not more than doing it our selves. Of course this does not apply to all things, some you just have to learn to accept that someone else's way works even though it is not your way. IE: kids teaching mum a few things. ) For us it is handed over when they show interest and capability. DS 14y is the best house keeper and can cook to boot. He started at about 3 with chores. (picking up his things) meals started at about 10y's. He wanted to help so I taught him to use the knife properly and he was short order cook. Then it was put a pot on to boil, etc etc. Cleans the bird cage, chore rotation. Anything I tell him gets done just as I would have done it. DD 13y only realy started at 11y's almost 12y. With the cooking. But she wanted to help change a diaper when she was 7y. I still don't let her do a new born. It is around 3 or 4 months before I let her take over. Then she does it almost totally. Now that we are cloth I clean the poo out but that's about it. Does chore rotation, cleans the cat box, feeds/waters the birds. DS 9y has been helping in the kitchen. He can bake cookies almost totally by himself. He is also responsible for 3 times a week cleaning dog pooh from the back yard. (we have 7 dogs. ) And he is responsible for watering them and feeding them. On the weekends DH does this for him. DD 8y (just turned this week) has been given the chore of getting the clothes from the washer and hanging diapers and clothes go to the dryer. She also gets them out and folds them. She also has "kids" bathroom duty. Making sure it stays clean. (she does not do this wonderfully , I often have to remind her) She wants to go on the core rotation but I have not seen that she is ready for that responsibility. DD6 helps put away clean clothes makes her bed with sister who is 5y and cleans her own room. A room she shares with 3 other sisters. She sets the table helps DD 3ys to the potty when she needs to go. Tells the dogs to stop barking( a constant chore ) and other little things. DD5y helps with te bed the room and watches the babies and keeps them entertained. Puts her dishes away (they all do) and again any # of little things I can come up with. DD3y picks up toys, keeps an eye on DD2y has washed dishes with how ever is assigned to the chore. DD2y can make her own sandwich or get her own snack(we try not to let her do this) she keeps things fairly clean during the process. Takes off her own dirty diaper and brings it to the proper place, helps out where ever she can. I wash the laundry, clean my own room and bathroom, pay the bills, do all the shopping, cook most meals, keep up with the garage, home school the kids, occasionally relieve the person on kitchen duty, make all the Dr apts, waste to much time on these forums , and run a fairly tight ship. DH feeds the family, puts a roof over our heads, can make a awesome meal from nothing and an even better one from all the right stuff, bathes the dogs, mows the yard, fixes stuff, vacuums the house, has not changed a diaper in years , and takes the family to the park often 3 or 4 times a week. Funny thing is, I still have to leave instructions when I leave. Like when I'm laid up in the hospital. The house literally falls apart when I am gone. Dad gets to lax. But he cleans the bathroom and bedroom maticulously so I can be relaxed with new baby. Got to love him. Sorry so long.

06-14-2006, 12:12 PM	#12
kingwooten Registered Users Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 28	Re: Chores My ds (6) and dd (7), pick up and put away toys, vacuum the play room and their own bedrooms, make their beds, dust and put dirty dishes and dirty clothes where they go, fold and put away laundry-only when it gets too piled up, wipe down bathroom with a damp rag-no cleaner. DD (16 mo.) dust-she loves her feather duster and won't let anyone else even touch it, washes her hand prints off the walls with me, picks up toys and shoes, supervises vacuuming and tries to ride on the vacuum. My dh keeps his recliner warm and mows grass I do the laundry, dishes, my room, scrub bathrooms and vacuum the living room, try to keep out side tidy, and do all big chores. We normally spend about 30 min. on all daily chores in the morning and just do maintaining work throughout the day

06-14-2006, 12:18 PM	#13
SandyG Moderator at heart, but no longer moderator The best way I know of to win an argument is to start by being in the right Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Yuma AZ Posts: 13,777 Ratings: 49 Feedback: 100%	Re: Chores well i gues im th eminority . david is 3 and he has no dialy chores just yet. i do our bed. he will do some clean up but that is about it he will get stuff out fo fridge. its not a daily thing that he does it. he does like to help but i dont push him to do stuff just yet (as a daily thing) __________________ SAHM to David (5) ; wife to my sweetie. Praise the Lord sorry Im not around as I use to be Old DS Feedback DP Feedback www.americansolutions.com--take action NOW!!

06-14-2006, 12:20 PM	#14
BlueMango Registered Users Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 34 Ratings: 7 Feedback: 100%	Re: Chores My 6yr old currently is responsible for keeping her room and the family room tidy. She also puts her own dishes in the dishwasher. This summer she will be learning how to help with laundry and will be responsible for watering outside plants. My younger DD just turned three. We will be working on her taking over the family room responsibility so that hopefully that will become her job in the fall so that the older one can move onto other task. My youngest is just 5mos...so her responsiblities are pretty much just eat, sleep, and be merry!

06-14-2006, 04:39 PM	#15
myajdw why do you insist on grating my cheese...my kids already do that Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 10,887 Ratings: 268 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Chores my ds's are 4 and almost 3 and they both pick up their toys correctly (as in they don't just get thrown into a corner they get organized into bins, but i have to specify to do it "correctly" or they get thrown lol) twice a day, pick up shoes and coats and hats off the floor and put them in their baskets, put their dirty clothes in the laundry room. when they finish eating they dispose of uneaten food, put dishes in sink and wipe up their eating spot. they also take the clothes out of the dryer for me as well. i have a very cute pic of my almost 3 year old "helping" with dishes, but i can't figure out how to get the pic from my cell phone to my computer or i'd share!