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Old 03-16-2012, 10:08 PM   #1
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How do you deal with the teasing?

My 6 year is going through this phase, and it's pissing me off, to put it bluntly. He can't be in a room with another person without doing something to irritate them. He's made my 3 year old scared of the dark, and now he's constantly jumping out at him to make him scream. He plays the copy game where he repeats everything. Or he's just grabbing their stuff and running away, just to tick them off. It's ALL. THE. TIME. I know my other kids over react to him (which just eggs him on) and I do encourage them to ignore him. They get in trouble for screaming. But at the same time, it's not unreasonable to expect a 6 year old to be able to walk into a room without intentionally pissing someone off.

I don't know what to do. Nothing I've tried has long-term results, so I'd love to hear some ideas.


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Old 03-16-2012, 10:26 PM   #2
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Re: How do you deal with the teasing?

a place to start is figuring out where he is learning this from. A tv show? at school? I would try to sit him down and have a heart to heart conversation with him and ask him why he feels like he needs to be doing this and explain to him how his action are effecting everyone. Telling him to stop and the kids just feeding into it is just making it worse.
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Old 03-17-2012, 09:55 AM   #3
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Re: How do you deal with the teasing?

DD1 started doing that at about 5.5. We had some talks about why she was doing it(b/c sissy would make her mad so she wanted 'to make her upset too'). We'd talk about how to not let sissy bug us but how we can use our words and walk away even telling sissy she's not allowed in her room if need be. SOmetimes it worked, sometmes it didnt. When it didnt I told her if she cant be nice to ppl then she cant be around ppl and then gets sent to her room for x amount of time. She just turned 7 and I havent had to send her to her room for teasing for about 3mos or so. The main thing for me is I try to remain calm, I put my mean face on and drop my voice but if I go further then that it just makes the situtaion worse.
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Old 03-17-2012, 04:06 PM   #4
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Re: How do you deal with the teasing?

1 2 3 Magic is my go to fail safe discipline. He will literally spend the first few days in his room but will eventually sort himself out It's not a punishment, it's more of a "If you're going to be a pain, go do it alone" type situation. Definitely check out the book if you haven't already.
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Old 03-17-2012, 04:16 PM   #5
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Re: How do you deal with the teasing?

Our rule is "it is not fun unless everyone is having fun". If they can't find an activity that everyone thinks is fun, then they get to play separately. I have some preschoolers with my kids and daycare kids that are pretty bad about this but trust me, separation is way boring for that age. It is not a timeout. Then can get back together and get going with an activity whenever they chose to change the behavior. I dont think that a kid has to understand everything about why they are doing something or about how it makes others feel, in order to stop the behavior. We do talk about being kind to others but even if they dont get why they cant do something, they still have to follow the rule
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Old 03-18-2012, 12:09 PM   #6
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Re: How do you deal with the teasing?

Six year old boys are at an interesting point in their lives, it's kind of like a mini puberty. In my experience they start being really annoying because they are very aware of how powerless they actually are, and so they seek out ways to feel powerful like picking on little siblings and annoying adults. They literally have hormones surging though them and they don't know what to do with themselves. It will pass with time, but one of the things I've seen be very helpful is finding time to do really boyish things (sorry if this is a sterotype) like hiking, chopping wood, building forts, exploring outdoors, whittling, boating, and using a punching bag. Let the outdoors absorb all that energy. Working with animal is great because they provide an opportunity for six year old boys to practice being tender and gentle, but also in charge of another living thing. Lot's of dad time is helpful to if that is an option. And like the other posts said, don't let him get away with it. They don't usually want to be bad kids, they just don't know what to do with themselves. Hope this helps!!
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Old 03-18-2012, 12:18 PM   #7
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This sounds more like a carbon copy of my daughter as opposed to my son.

She is almost 9 and I think we are finally coming out of it.
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