Typical 7 year old behavior? Arguing about EVERYTHING???

[MamaWillow]

Yep. My ODD is almost 9 and still does it. A year or so ago I got kinda mad and told her that she had to stop arguing with me. It was mostly when I asked her to do something, and it drove me nuts. I told her that if she argued with me I wasn't going to listen anyway and would walk away. It sort of worked, now when I ask her to do something she just does it.

But the know-it-all thing is making me crazy! I was actually going to start a thread about it the other day. She can be SO annoying. The other day it was a little snowy and icy on the road. She was giving me crap for driving slowly. Like totally backseat driving. OMG I almost lost it. Seriously she thinks she knows more about driving than I do???!!!

[mcpforever]

The thing about this personality (and my oldest is like this) is to refuse to engage them in the argument. Refuse. Don't point out that, "Yes. The sidewalk is dry. The grass is wet." Don't say, "That's not pasta sauce. That's salsa." Just say, "You are arguing. We don't argue." Then move on.

For the longest time, I thought that I should listen to my son no matter what. Then I realized that I was TEACHING him that it is appropriate to pick arguments with others. I was teaching him to say anything just so he could be "right" and "win." It doesn't help that his father does it as an adult and will literally refuse to ever concede anything. Ever. I kid you not. The wall could be blue. Several decorators will tell him it is blue. He will still insist that it is green.

My son has gotten so much better at not attempting to engage in arguments. He has caught himself starting and stopped. He has learned to say, "I'm not trying to argue, but I think this is the case." He has learned how to tactfully disagree. He has learned how to just let people think want they want to instead of having to correct them.

It was really rough on him when we first implemented the no arguing policy. It really, really frustrated him. Now I often don't even need to say anything when he starts. He catches himself. He's not perfect, but it's so.much.better.

[MCR]

Ugh my 7 year old does it too. I have stopped arguing with her. If she did the shoes thing, I just tell her, "well, either put shoes on or you have to stay inside, your choice" and walk away. I have found saying my piece and walking away stops her from trying another argument.
When all else fails I have been known to say, "don't make me yell at you" she usually huffs and walks away at that point.

[Jessi621]

Originally Posted by mcpforever The thing about this personality (and my oldest is like this) is to refuse to engage them in the argument. Refuse. Don't point out that, "Yes. The sidewalk is dry. The grass is wet." Don't say, "That's not pasta sauce. That's salsa." Just say, "You are arguing. We don't argue." Then move on. For the longest time, I thought that I should listen to my son no matter what. Then I realized that I was TEACHING him that it is appropriate to pick arguments with others. I was teaching him to say anything just so he could be "right" and "win." It doesn't help that his father does it as an adult and will literally refuse to ever concede anything. Ever. I kid you not. The wall could be blue. Several decorators will tell him it is blue. He will still insist that it is green. My son has gotten so much better at not attempting to engage in arguments. He has caught himself starting and stopped. He has learned to say, "I'm not trying to argue, but I think this is the case." He has learned how to tactfully disagree. He has learned how to just let people think want they want to instead of having to correct them. It was really rough on him when we first implemented the no arguing policy. It really, really frustrated him. Now I often don't even need to say anything when he starts. He catches himself. He's not perfect, but it's so.much.better.

I never thought of it like that.
My dd is the same way, always has to argue with everything and always knows more then everyone. Drives me crazy! I'll have to try your method and be sure to stick with it. I know that a few times I've cut her off and told her to stop arguing and the little booger started to argue that she wasn't arguing.

[my2sweets]

Originally Posted by Jessi621 I never thought of it like that. My dd is the same way, always has to argue with everything and always knows more then everyone. Drives me crazy! I'll have to try your method and be sure to stick with it. I know that a few times I've cut her off and told her to stop arguing and the little booger started to argue that she wasn't arguing.

Yep, dd1 does that too! And if I try to walk away she will either follow me or will increase her volume the further away I get It seriously makes me want to pop her in the mouth sometimes(dont worry I never would).

[MamaNae]

Originally Posted by Jessi621 I never thought of it like that. My dd is the same way, always has to argue with everything and always knows more then everyone. Drives me crazy! I'll have to try your method and be sure to stick with it. I know that a few times I've cut her off and told her to stop arguing and the little booger started to argue that she wasn't arguing.

LOL! Sounds like something mine would do!! "I'm not arguing, I just said the wheel looks perfectly fine to me."

Originally Posted by mcpforever The thing about this personality (and my oldest is like this) is to refuse to engage them in the argument. Refuse. Don't point out that, "Yes. The sidewalk is dry. The grass is wet." Don't say, "That's not pasta sauce. That's salsa." Just say, "You are arguing. We don't argue." Then move on. For the longest time, I thought that I should listen to my son no matter what. Then I realized that I was TEACHING him that it is appropriate to pick arguments with others. I was teaching him to say anything just so he could be "right" and "win." It doesn't help that his father does it as an adult and will literally refuse to ever concede anything. Ever. I kid you not. The wall could be blue. Several decorators will tell him it is blue. He will still insist that it is green. My son has gotten so much better at not attempting to engage in arguments. He has caught himself starting and stopped. He has learned to say, "I'm not trying to argue, but I think this is the case." He has learned how to tactfully disagree. He has learned how to just let people think want they want to instead of having to correct them. It was really rough on him when we first implemented the no arguing policy. It really, really frustrated him. Now I often don't even need to say anything when he starts. He catches himself. He's not perfect, but it's so.much.better.

I may have to try this...I'll just keep repeating it when he does the above and argues with me that he's not arguing...



I've had to pull that with him and his sister...she'll say something off the wall just being silly, and he has to correct her and she gets ticked off because he's ruining her 'game' and then he gets mad because she's arguing with him and I just want to scream. I keep telling him to just LEAVE.IT.ALONE...if DD wants to say the sky is purple and there are cows zooming down the road on pink and green skate boards to just say "Okay..." and leave her alone.

[Jessi621]

Originally Posted by MamaNae LOL! Sounds like something mine would do!! "I'm not arguing, I just said the wheel looks perfectly fine to me." I may have to try this...I'll just keep repeating it when he does the above and argues with me that he's not arguing... I've had to pull that with him and his sister...she'll say something off the wall just being silly, and he has to correct her and she gets ticked off because he's ruining her 'game' and then he gets mad because she's arguing with him and I just want to scream. I keep telling him to just LEAVE.IT.ALONE...if DD wants to say the sky is purple and there are cows zooming down the road on pink and green skate boards to just say "Okay..." and leave her alone.

Oh my goodness mine do that too!!
DS-My shoes have rockets in them so I can fly!
DD- No they don't, people can't fly! Mami! Jaime's lying!
DS- No I'm not! Mami! Jesenia's being mean!
Me-

[jessicap]

I am dealing with this too with my 7 year old. I think that part of it is personality and part of it is a phase, because while he has always had an "opinion" it has never been this argumentative.

It irritates me to NO END! But I needed to see this thread because I needed the reminder of nipping it asap as far as no arguing goes. There is a certain amount of battles being chosen in our home, but this is a battle that I am willing to fight so to speak because it is a disrespectful attitude that comes along with it.

[babylovinmama]

Originally Posted by Derby_Mama Yes..I agree with this. Most of the time we ignore and let it slide, even though it's hard sometimes it is just not worth it. I am a control freak and that is the hardest part of being a parent, letting the small stuff go. I honestly think half of it happens to see what kind of response/attention he can get. I learn something EVERY DAY from these kids

I know just what you mean! For me, at times, it comes down to I'm the mother do what I said, even if you don't like it. If I said put the other shoes on just do it!

My older kids are 13, 11 and 10 and I have to say, from experience, that I think some of it most certainly is the age. My 13yo was like this from the time she was about 8-11ish. She did outgrow it, but those few years were trying to say the least. I know have 2 in that age range and...oh boy.....

[luvinmommy]

EXACTLY!!! This is the only thing that works with my 8 yr old. He knows everything just ask him For a while it got so bad that I started tuning him out than instead of arguing with him I just laid down the rule that it is not okay to argue with adults and remind him when he slips. Now he will say "I'm not trying to argue mom, but can I point out/ask one thing".

Originally Posted by mcpforever The thing about this personality (and my oldest is like this) is to refuse to engage them in the argument. Refuse. Don't point out that, "Yes. The sidewalk is dry. The grass is wet." Don't say, "That's not pasta sauce. That's salsa." Just say, "You are arguing. We don't argue." Then move on. For the longest time, I thought that I should listen to my son no matter what. Then I realized that I was TEACHING him that it is appropriate to pick arguments with others. I was teaching him to say anything just so he could be "right" and "win." It doesn't help that his father does it as an adult and will literally refuse to ever concede anything. Ever. I kid you not. The wall could be blue. Several decorators will tell him it is blue. He will still insist that it is green. My son has gotten so much better at not attempting to engage in arguments. He has caught himself starting and stopped. He has learned to say, "I'm not trying to argue, but I think this is the case." He has learned how to tactfully disagree. He has learned how to just let people think want they want to instead of having to correct them. It was really rough on him when we first implemented the no arguing policy. It really, really frustrated him. Now I often don't even need to say anything when he starts. He catches himself. He's not perfect, but it's so.much.better.