Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-21-2012, 10:33 AM   #1
ulawolf's Avatar
ulawolf
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: michigan
Posts: 3,499
Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

I ask moms of teens because what i thought my rules were going to be when they were young changed over time. I had to come up with a set of rules when my youngest was about 13 or so. Until then it was "when you feel you want to have a b/f then we will discuss it. That time came about the time my oldest was 13. Of course this was an "in school " b/f which i found out soon is different than a 'real" boyfriend. My rule as a child was 15 i could date if my parents approved of the boy.

My rules are three steps: and apply to both our older dds and our ds. At 14 they may group date with at least 4 peers and one approved adult attends (this usually has to be one of our family members like mom/dad/gma/gpa unless i know another parent of the other kids really well). At 15 they are allowed to single date but again must have an approved adult chaparone. An exception to this is if they are invited to a school dance then we will will drive and pick up. Once they have their drivers license (which is usually about 16.5) we allow one on one dates without chaparone as long as we have met the person and feel comfortable with their reaponsibleness.

Funny thing is these rules have been in place now for over 3 years and my oldest dd who os 17.5 is going on her first first date unchaperoned just now. I was surprised it took this long but she has never found a boy worth her interest and said she knew she could but why date just for the sake of dating.

My middle dd who is 15.5 has been on two group functions with grandparents in tow but also doesn't seem too interested in dating. Which dont get me wrong im all for them taking their time. They both just dont seem to have time for boys. My 13 year old ds is biting at the bit for group dates but we will see once he actually gets to 14. They all seemed eager until they actually reached the age.

So what are your rules?

Advertisement

ulawolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2012, 11:24 AM   #2
ktmelody
No Longer Here
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 20,304
My Mood:
At this time we dont allow dates at all. My girls are almost 14 and 15.

We will evaluate when they are 16 or so. But being in Las Vegas dating rules are a bit different. We wont allow alone dating until they are 17.
ktmelody is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2012, 12:00 PM   #3
solarbabies's Avatar
solarbabies
Registered Users
Formerly: ja***nes
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: beautiful New Mexico
Posts: 6,845
My Mood:
Re: Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

These are the things I am scared of....wish mine would just stay little forever. Good for you for setting rules! I had no rules,...I could do as I please and I am blessed I got through my teen yrs.
__________________
[CENTER]~Shannon~Mama to Addisyn 6.6.10 and Ryan 1.22.12
solarbabies is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2012, 12:15 PM   #4
ulawolf's Avatar
ulawolf
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: michigan
Posts: 3,499
Quote:
Originally Posted by ktmelody
At this time we dont allow dates at all. My girls are almost 14 and 15.

We will evaluate when they are 16 or so. But being in Las Vegas dating rules are a bit different. We wont allow alone dating until they are 17.
I didn't think about different places bit that makes sense. Here is a battle because most of my los friends start dating/hanging out as early as 12/13 and o had to really consider the "rules". My first instinct was 16 but i knew that because most kids around here group date much earlier that i wanted to give my kids an opportunity to still hang out but not as soon as the norm here.

Im pleased with our rules maybe only because of the freedom my teens feel and yet two of them have only utilized their privileges a hand full of times.
ulawolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2012, 12:46 PM   #5
ktmelody
No Longer Here
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 20,304
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by ulawolf

I didn't think about different places bit that makes sense. Here is a battle because most of my los friends start dating/hanging out as early as 12/13 and o had to really consider the "rules". My first instinct was 16 but i knew that because most kids around here group date much earlier that i wanted to give my kids an opportunity to still hang out but not as soon as the norm here.

Im pleased with our rules maybe only because of the freedom my teens feel and yet two of them have only utilized their privileges a hand full of times.
Its crazy here.

Now my 13 year old had a boy she liked and she did see him at her church every week until he moved. We were not there because we are not xtian and dont attend that church, but she does. They would go to service and see each other at the xtian music night they have every sunday. It is heavily chaperoned though so I wasnt concerned. Neither have even kissed a boy or been alone with one ever.

Now she is in love with a boy in chicago (she visits her grandparents in the summer) the boy is her cousins best friend. They text, and write to each other. And I get the comfort of knowing that he is 2000 miles away and can keep his hands off my daughter. Lmao!


My other teen has nooo interest in boys at all. She has some social phobias and could care less. She probably wont date until after highschool.
ktmelody is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2012, 12:58 PM   #6
kattayanna_mom's Avatar
kattayanna_mom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Jacksonville North Carolina
Posts: 5,925
My Mood:
Re: Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

13-14 group dates,15 double dates and 16 single dating/car dating..
10pm weekend curfew,11pm weekend curfew,12am weekend curfew and 10pm weekday curfew.
kattayanna_mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2012, 01:23 PM   #7
ulawolf's Avatar
ulawolf
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: michigan
Posts: 3,499
Quote:
Originally Posted by kattayanna_mom
13-14 group dates,15 double dates and 16 single dating/car dating..
10pm weekend curfew,11pm weekend curfew,12am weekend curfew and 10pm weekday curfew.
We have mandated 10pm curfew (no driving ) for teen drivers under 18 (or a year after license) so we keep curfews to 10pm no matter the night. We had four teens die in a car accident a year ago so curfews are being policed heavily.
ulawolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2012, 01:30 PM   #8
kattayanna_mom's Avatar
kattayanna_mom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Jacksonville North Carolina
Posts: 5,925
My Mood:
Re: Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

My oldest is almost 17 but still has her permit in NC you have to add them to your insurance before they can get their DL and we want to get her a cheap used car so we are waiting a bit to just do that and insure it. Kaitlyn likes to either bring her boyfriend here or go to his house so us parents usually get them home by midnight.
__________________
Sharon,mom 2 Kaitlyn 19,Tayler 17,Anna 9,wife 2 James 4 yr old lead Teacher at a childcare center.
kattayanna_mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2012, 02:51 PM   #9
ulawolf's Avatar
ulawolf
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: michigan
Posts: 3,499
Quote:
Originally Posted by kattayanna_mom
My oldest is almost 17 but still has her permit in NC you have to add them to your insurance before they can get their DL and we want to get her a cheap used car so we are waiting a bit to just do that and insure it. Kaitlyn likes to either bring her boyfriend here or go to his house so us parents usually get them home by midnight.
Yeah. Our insurance went up about $400 a year. My kids must have their drivers licenses before dating without chaparones because i want them to be able to drive in an emeegency
ulawolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2012, 08:35 PM   #10
TwinKristi's Avatar
TwinKristi
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Petaluma, CA
Posts: 14,304
My Mood:
My boys are 14 and I don't think they should be allowed to "date" at this point. Maybe when they're 16 we can address it. Considering they were born when I was 16, they know my reservations.
I would prefer even longer, 17-18, but I know that's a little unrealistic and setting myself up for danger.
__________________
Kristi, Mommy to Josh & Nick (identical twins 6-97) Nathen (3-02), Joey (2-04), Jacob (11-05) & Aaron (12-11) I sell Tupperware!
"A person's a person, no matter how small..." Dr Seuss
TwinKristi is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.