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Old 03-21-2012, 09:37 PM   #11
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Re: Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

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My boys are 14 and I don't think they should be allowed to "date" at this point. Maybe when they're 16 we can address it. Considering they were born when I was 16, they know my reservations.
I would prefer even longer, 17-18, but I know that's a little unrealistic and setting myself up for danger.
You are not too far from me...maybe your boys can date my girls and we can be all up in their business because we were both teen moms and we reserve the right to be waaaayyyyy overprotective.

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Old 03-21-2012, 09:58 PM   #12
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Re: Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

I would greatly prefer my daughter not date until college. I mean like serious dating....unchaperoned, going where they please and when they please. I just don't think that high school boyfriends are at all necessary.

I was interested in boys but had high standards and was very into cheerleading and schoolwork and friends so it wasn't as hard for me to say no. Most the boys I met were not cute enough (lol!), smart enough, or interested in me anyway. High standards kept the losers away and since I wasn't easy to get like some girls, most of the rest were not interested. I did have a few boyfriends but never went on regular, unchaperoned dates. In fact, my high school boyfriend and I never went anywhere just the 2 of us.

I know others may think I am crazy but all my boyfriend memories are mainly with my husband. I like it that way. I hope my daughter waits and finds someone as great as her daddy.
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Old 03-21-2012, 10:34 PM   #13
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Re: Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

I'm VERY strict But I also got pregnant from the first time I ever had sex at 16 so this is why. My oldest is 15 and our rules are as follows. She cannot date in any way till she is 16. At 16 she is allowed on group dates of 2 or more couples. The other couples I must have met the parents/talk with them on the phone about the date and so forth and also have met all the kids. Maybe at 17yrs ( but I much prefer 18 lol )I'll allow my daughter to date alone but I'm going duggar style and a younger sibling will go along with. There will be no grandchildren early on my watch! My daughter does have a boyfriend whom she is allowed to chat with on the phone but that is it. She is totally okay with this. She has never asked for me to make any exceptions or even once said she wished otherwise. I think she understands that waiting takes away all the awkard and tricky situations that could arise.
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Old 03-21-2012, 10:58 PM   #14
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Re: Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

I don't really know...I thought we'd have hit this issue by now (she's 14) but we haven't. I would allow her to have a "boyfriend" but no one-on-one dating/alone time. I think that's a great rule (and one I hadn't thought of) to make sure she knows how to drive before one-on-one dating in case of an emergency. I might allow group dating at her age, it depends on who was in the group, where they were going, etc. I would allow a boy to come hang out with her in our house, but I would be hesitant to let her at a boy's house.
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Old 03-21-2012, 11:03 PM   #15
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Re: Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

I have a 14 year old boy and a 16 year old girl. NO DATING! I'm scared.
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Old 03-22-2012, 07:18 AM   #16
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Re: Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

I didn't have any super strict rules but I also had a dysfunctional family life growing up. I had an "in school bf" in 5th grade but it was just a title and the "cool" thing to do. My first "real" boyfriend was in 6th grade (so 12?13?) and we could talk on the phonea nd e-mail. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere alone, not even with friends. We got around that by asking to go to the library and then meeting up without our parents knowing. That's where I got my first kiss

As a freshman (possible 8th grade) I was able to go to my boyfriend's house and vice versa. I went out with friends so we just forgot to mention the boys would be there too, or would lie and say we were meeting, say, Kelly, but we'd really meet our bf. Once I got my license I was going on alone dates. My family hardly ever knew where I really was. I also lost my virginity at 15 and wound up in detox at 19 so rules weren't their specialty to say the least.

We haven't discussed specific rules but they'll be allowed to date. I think that boys/girls can come to our home and vice versa, and group dates can be allowed around 13-15 as long as we know the other person and their parents. Single dates around 16. I do like the rule about having to be able to drive before single dates, that's smart.

DF is very sexist in this topic. The boys can have girls over, in their room, dates, whatever at like 12. Girls on the other hand? They'll probably have a chastity belt until they're 30. Nice huh? That'll all change once the kids are old enough lol

I am personally happy with not waiting until marriage, getting their first kiss in highschool etc. I'm a firm believer in living together before marriage to ensure compatibility. I would prefer they wait until late highschool/college to have serious boyfriends, get their first kisses, etc but I'm realistic in my expectations. And then part of me would love for our little guy to find that one special someone and save himself for them. But we'll see!
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Old 03-22-2012, 07:19 AM   #17
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Re: Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

We believe dating is for the purpose of finding someone to court, who you are likely going to marry. So no dating until you are old/mature enough to be looking for a marriage mate. Group dates/activities first to find someone you are interested in, then chaperoned dates. Our oldest has done some group activities and has found someone she is interested in. They will be allowed to court soon. They are almost 18 and 19.
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Old 03-22-2012, 11:00 AM   #18
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Re: Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

My oldest is going on 12 and just getting interested in girls and my rules is and always will be no dating. Period. And no driver's liscense til 18. Based on the experiences of my husband and I, friends experiences and my 8 siblings this is the rule and my husband is more gung ho about it than I am. I prefer to teach my kids to get to know each other as friends before deciding to court and marry but no dating. My husband and I had bad previous relationships multiple times (my last one resulting in my oldest son who's biofather doesn't know he was even born because he didn't give a crap). My husband and I were friends for 3 years then one night we were talking and the conversation took an unusal turn that turned out to be really good, we "dated" for a few weeks and then got engaged and married. It was all of 4 months from "what would you think" to "I Do" and we've been married for 10 years. That is what I want my children to do and NOT the misery I went through before doing things that way.
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Old 03-22-2012, 11:20 AM   #19
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Re: Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

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Originally Posted by Psychomom View Post
I don't really know...I thought we'd have hit this issue by now (she's 14) but we haven't. I would allow her to have a "boyfriend" but no one-on-one dating/alone time. I think that's a great rule (and one I hadn't thought of) to make sure she knows how to drive before one-on-one dating in case of an emergency. I might allow group dating at her age, it depends on who was in the group, where they were going, etc. I would allow a boy to come hang out with her in our house, but I would be hesitant to let her at a boy's house.
When K was 15 almost 16 getting close to the single/car dating age I'd let her go to her date/boyfriend's house but I'd also talk to his parent/s and make sure they would be there and that the teens would be supervised.
At almost 17 when K has her boyfriend over she is allowed in her room with her door shut her room is next to the living room,my recliner next to her wall. I trust my daughter to trust in herself,to make choices right for her,so far she is not sexually active but is on BC she also knows BC is not enough. Right now she has no interest in having sex and has no problem saying so to any of the few boys she has dated.
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Old 03-22-2012, 11:55 AM   #20
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Re: Moms of teens: what are your dating rules?

my older boys are:

18, 17 15 and 13. The 18 and 17 yr old haven't expressed any desire to date, although there are many girls they like. The 15 (almost 16 yr old) has asked me what my rules are (I think his dad would say, "whatever!") and I told him group dating is ok (but I prefer no dating, more courting. I just don't think that will happen). When I say group dating, I mean if there happens to be a mixed sex group of kids going to the movies, etc, that is ok. The most he has done is meet up with a bunch of kids (like 10) at a homecoming dance. He didn't stay with one particular person. Most of his friends are girls.
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