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Old 03-22-2012, 01:13 PM   #1
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Tell me having two under 3y gets easier!

How do mom's of more then 2 even do this?????

I have a 2.5yo and a 2mo and it's SOOOO hard! I constantly feel like I am neglecting one of them. The toddler often keeps the baby from napping (small house and he talks constantly and does not know how to be quiet), the baby spends a lot more time in her bouncy seat than I'd like b/c I'm trying to deal with the toddler, and it's hard to get meals made or anything else and FORGET having anytime for myself to knit or even shower. Aagggghhhhhhhh!

This will get better right?

(I cannot BW more than an hour or two a day due to some physical conditions. . .wish I could wear her all day, it would make things easier.)

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Old 03-22-2012, 01:22 PM   #2
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Re: Tell me having two under 3y gets easier!

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Old 03-22-2012, 01:25 PM   #3
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I want to know how moms of 3+ do it, too!! My brother has 6 under 9. I am in awe! Mine are 14mos apart. It does get a little easier, but I'm still overwhelmed often. I have to accept that every moment and day can't be split 50/50 for them, and forgive myself for being human (letting one chill while you are with the other, struggling with naps, needing breaks, etc). We recently added a puppy and that is about to send me over the deep end, lol. Poor puppy gets crated more often than I'd like. :-( I can't imagine what a 3rd baby would be like if the puppy makes it that much harder, lol.
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Old 03-22-2012, 01:25 PM   #4
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Old 03-22-2012, 01:29 PM   #5
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It can be hard but gets easier. LO will learn to sleep through the older. You're not neglecting either - just having them take turns . It'll pay off in the long run- they'll have more on common then kids who are born farther apart. I have 3 "sets" of kids who are all less then 2 years apart. 23 months between the first 2, 21 between the second set, and 19 months between the last "set" I love having the pairs so close together. . Currently though, my youngest 2 are 26 months and 8 months and I don't know how I would be doing without my older ones. They both get into everything.
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Old 03-22-2012, 01:59 PM   #6
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Re: Tell me having two under 3y gets easier!

Here is my advice after having 4. It gets easier but only because you learn how to handle it. There are three things I say to every new mom feeling this way.

1)Get on a routine. It sounds simple it sounds hard but it will make a world of difference. Kids are like everything else in nature they need a routine to know what comes next. Make a print out and put it on the fridge even if it is just a simple routine to help them and help you. It will help you know it is only x number of minutes until I get ME time while they nap etc.

2)Prioritize. Forget everything you ever said you "would never" do as a parent and all the things you feel obligated by society to do as a parent. Sit down and really think about what is important to YOU for your kids to remember about their childhood. Do those things FIRST. Is it more important that your kids always have made from scratch meals or that they have individual time with you? Is it more important for the home to be clean or just presentable for the occasional drop in guest? Only you know what matters most and there is no wrong answer really.

3)Forgive yourself. So you had a rough day and the kids ate Mac n Cheese for dinner. This is ok it won't keep them from becoming president it won't keep them from finding their true calling it is not on the entrance exam at Harvard. Sure you don't want them to eat only that every night their whole lives but a few times a month when the day has just been too much will not harm them. (Unless they have allergies. LOL)

Remember no one is the perfect parent and it is a marathon not a sprint. The very fact that you feel like a neglectful parent tells me you are NOT one. Every parent welcoming a second child feels this way at this interval whether their first child is 2 or 20 it is an adjustment as your heart makes room for two there will be growing pains but the end result is so fulfilling.
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Old 03-22-2012, 02:09 PM   #7
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Re: Tell me having two under 3y gets easier!

lol....now I'm finding those two "easier".

I have a DD age 6, DS age 2.5, and DS 2 mo.
When DD is at school and it's just me and the boys.....life is good, easy, smooth, etc.
DS1 LOVES his little brother and wants to be with "us" whenever I'm tending to the wee one. When DS2 is napping, I get to spend one on one time with DS1. And, when I need to do housework, I BW a lot and DS1 "helps" me.

It's the interaction between the 6 year old and my 2.5 year old that gets "crazy" and prevents me from doing anything.
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Old 03-22-2012, 02:09 PM   #8
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Re: Tell me having two under 3y gets easier!

lol....now I'm finding those two "easier".

I have a DD age 6, DS age 2.5, and DS 2 mo.
When DD is at school and it's just me and the boys.....life is good, easy, smooth, etc.
DS1 LOVES his little brother and wants to be with "us" whenever I'm tending to the wee one. When DS2 is napping, I get to spend one on one time with DS1. And, when I need to do housework, I BW a lot and DS1 "helps" me.

It's the interaction between the 6 year old and my 2.5 year old that gets "crazy" and prevents me from doing anything.
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Old 03-22-2012, 02:17 PM   #9
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Re: Tell me having two under 3y gets easier!

I have 3. DS1 at just 5, DS2 at 3, and DD at 9 months. I find the more I have the easier it gets, but that is because of MY attitude adjustment. Also, I've gotten over the kids feeling neglected bit. My 2nd and 3rd are not as needy as my first born, and I think that is because they learned early on to be a bit more "independent". They also sleep a little better and eat more varieties of food. It is sometimes good for kiddos not to have us breathing down their backs at every moment of the day. Also, the babies are easier entertained with another LO running around doing things. I'm pretty boring to watch after all. Hang in there. You are in the home stretch! Your littlest will be crawling and playing before you know it.

I totally agree with Lilthunderfox above.
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Old 03-22-2012, 02:29 PM   #10
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Re: Tell me having two under 3y gets easier!

Yes, it will get better! My children are 16 months apart and I even suffered from some mild PPD after DD was born. It was hard for the first couple of months, but DD started sleeping through the night on her own around 8 weeks, which helped SO much. It helps to have a schedule. I'm not a strict schedule person, but I try to follow my kid's cues and keep them on a similar pattern each day. They are now 14 months and 2.5 and things are great...I'm even feeling ready to have another one! They are finally napping at the same time and going to bed at the same time which is really nice. Just keep swimming, you'll get there. And don't put too much pressure on yourself. I found that it really helped picking up messes as they were made rather than leaving a huge mess for the end of the day. Get laundry sorted and started before they wake up or when they go to bed at night. Make a menu plan each week--this has helped me so much, and saved money from us eating out! Good luck!
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