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Old 08-08-2014, 05:44 PM   #1
bellx1
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mommy guilt

With my DS1 I was able to bring him to work with me, then when he was 1 1/2 I was a full time nursing student, got married and was Pregnant with ds2 at my graduation. Worked part-time until ds2 was born. WAHM for the past year.

In June started pediatric nurse job only working 3-11p F & Sat.

For past week Ive been full time covering for another nurse while she will be gone nearly 3mo. I also have had to cover for anotger nurse this week, will have worked 52hrs. Im taking on the 7-3p shift so I dont see kids in morning because theyre asleep. My 4yr old said "Mommy, why are they taking you away from me?"

I feel like I barely see my kids. I feel like Im neglecting them. Ive never worked full time out of home since I had kids I will keep the full time for 3mo because I already gave my word. Hope it will be better when the 2nd nurse Im covering for is working... Then I should be cut back to T-TH 7-3p and F-Sat 3-11p.

How do you all do it? Should I suggest that we change the schedule up and I work M-Th 7-3 (after the next 3mo)? Just seems like every week Im being called to cover for one of the other 3 nurses because theyre "sick" or "cant make it". The mom of my patient has noticed it too and has mentioned changing the schedule to something else more stable so its less stress on her and me/my family.

** Im at work now but my patient is asleep, and his mommy practically insists I either entertain myself with TV or phone while he is asleep and nothing needs to be done for him which is akward to me but...??**

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Old 08-08-2014, 05:51 PM   #2
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Re: mommy guilt

And the nurse going to be in vacation for 3mo wasnt supposed to leave til september but contacted me Monday saying "ok Im ready to take my time off can you start covering tomorrow?"

Im thinking that is not the way taking a vacation works! You cant randomly leave a month early and tell me the day before!!
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Old 08-11-2014, 06:48 AM   #3
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Re: mommy guilt

First of all, hang in there it will get better.

i have WOH full time since before DS1 was born. I never see my kids in the morning before going to work. I leave the house at 6am. DH does the morning routine. I personally think that is good. It is good for him to have that bonding time with them in the morning without me around. I work 6:30-2:30 and pick up the baby from daycare by 3ish.

You are not neglecting your kids, it is just a different routine they are not use to.

Personally if you are going to work full time, I would try and get a set schedule--whatever that may be. That will help you better organize your time and get into a better routine (I use that term loosely, we are not super strict about routines)
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Old 08-11-2014, 04:23 PM   #4
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Re: mommy guilt

Thanks. Its just been crazy, I blame the other nurses for thinking they can give less tgan a days notice that theyll be gone all week for pre-vacation shopping, and then one who 30min before shift ti say she is sick. Abd conti uing to show up for qork wgen she was taken off the schedule.

They want me to work T-Sat daytime now for 3mo, which is tuff with the kids starting school, to be away from them and have no garuntee of just weekday shifts after the 3mo. Ive bent over backward to cover shifts for my patient and now Im being given the short end of the stick (short end vecause I asked for no weekend shift and asked to be able to keep 4 weekdays even after the 3 mo).
It my opinion that if you leave for a 2 mo vacation abruptly a month early, thus making it a 3mo vacation then it is your schedule that should be reworked when you come back.
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Old 08-11-2014, 04:24 PM   #5
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Re: mommy guilt

Ps sorry for typos, my phone is going bad and the keyboard is acting up
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Old 08-12-2014, 08:58 AM   #6
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Re: mommy guilt

That is tough.

So do you only work to cover others or do you have a set schedule.

Totally not cool for the one nurse to just decided to take an extra month off. Who does that and expects to have thier job back. I know I couldn't do that at my job.

Maybe try it for the 3 months and see how it goes.

Do you have the option to say no, if someone calls you such short notice?
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Old 08-14-2014, 07:21 PM   #7
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Re: mommy guilt

My set schedule was F & Sat 3p-11p. But I was constantly geyting called to cover, which at first when it was maybe 1x a week it was cool/good for extra pay. But suddenly its happening all the time to the point that If I scheduled yo work 2 days, I end up working 4+ (sometimes even asking for me to do a 12hr shift, which is ok, but it was after Id already worked 5 days (40hrs ) on a moments notice each day.

Even this week I was scheduled for M, F, S. I get there by 7am Mon morning and one of the other nurses show up too even tho the company had told her not to go (i found out later). She had the mom convinced that I the company didnt relay info right, and I really didnt want to make a big issue for the mother so I left and called the company about it. Then vacation nurse got told she had to work this week and she suddenly falls sick late tuesday night so They call me to fill in wed and thurs. I told them no (1st time ) because dd had eye doc and I had dentist appt.

Now, starting the 19th Im scheduled T-Sat 7-3 for 3mo. If the mom lets tge other nurse have shift back and I cant get 3-4 weekdays 7-3 then the company will move me to a different patient.

For me it is difficult to say no because this child is very medically needy and his mom already does all the overnight care, plus has 2 other kids, and works part time, dad works full time. I always think, what if I was in this position? But sometimes Ill have to say no for me/my familys sake
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Old 08-14-2014, 07:29 PM   #8
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I think you have to do what is right for you and your family. If that means saying no to covering, then maybe that is it. The other nurses might be taking advantage, as you are bailing them out. It is admirable that you are devoted to your patients, but you shouldnt be picking up the slack for others to your own family's detriment IMO.

I am a wohm too and it's hard to draw the line on hours - I know I am also constantly juggling it too.
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Old 08-15-2014, 01:23 PM   #9
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Re: mommy guilt

Sounds to me like the other nurse is taking advantage of you. You have to do what is right for your family.

I do get it. I WOH full time as does my husband.
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Old 08-15-2014, 03:42 PM   #10
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Re: mommy guilt

Thanks for confirming my thoughts regarding saying No and 2 of the other nurses taking advantage... This is why Im praying the mom and the company notice what is really going on and give me what Im asking for (4 days, no weekend, day shift).
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