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Old 03-24-2012, 09:49 AM   #1
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Do you cosleep? What does your SO think?

Hello ladies! Sorry, this is LONG.

My DS and I cosleep. We didn't initially set out to do this, but it just happened. He has been in my bed since about 4 months; he is almost 10 now. My husband has been sleeping on the couch since I was pregnant. We just discovered that we slept better between his snoring and my getting up to go potty all of the time (while pregnant). He just hasn't made it back into the bed yet, but talks about it. He is more than welcome to sleep here any time he wants, and there is no trouble in the marriage, just a different sleeping arrangement.

Husband has now started strongly hinting that I put DS in his crib. I want all of us to try cosleeping together to see if husband likes it, but he says he is scared of squishing DS. I said I would sleep in the middle. DS still wakes up a few times a night, but I'm not sure that is out of need or habit. Part of me wouldn't mind having DS sleep in his crib - it would be easier if I need to wake up before him, and who knows, we may both sleep better. But I know I would miss him and really don't even have the desire to fight him to sleep in his crib. Plus, his room is not close enough for my comfort. We do have an Arm's Reach co-sleeper, but I think he would almost do better in his crib than in there because he would be so close, yet so far.

Sorry for the ramble. So, back to my original questions: Do you cosleep? What does your SO think about it? Any advice for me? I wouldn't mind having him in his own bed before I am pregnant again (hopefully not for a while yet - but still), but don't know if it would be easier to get him to sleep in is crib now or later.


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Old 03-24-2012, 10:01 AM   #2
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Re: Do you cosleep? What does your SO think?

We do cosleep if the child wants to (my daughter hated it) and my husband is ok with it. At around 6 mo or so I would start nursing them to sleep and putting them in their crib or playpen and then bring them to bed when they woke up. It is and will be easier to get him used to his bed a little at a time now rather than later. My last one ended up being the hardest to break of the habit, I didn't do so well at forcing the issue because I *thought* he was going to be my last and didn't care, he was past his 3rd bday before he would finally sleep in his bed however he still tries to come in our room in the middle of the night or won't stay in bed and fall asleep until really late. Now that baby #5 is on his way soon I have GOT to make him understand that it is no longer an option no matter how much he whines cries or begs.

All that to say if it were me I'd start now at least trying him in his own bed to start out the night.
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Old 03-24-2012, 10:42 AM   #3
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I don't now (no babies), but I did with all four children. It was my husband's idea. I was adamantly against it when he first brought it up when I was just shy of 9 months pregnant with our first. When it came down to it, I couldn't bear to leave her in a crib all alone in another room. It felt so right to have her with us and I'm glad he brought it up.

As for your family, you have to decide what's right for you. Maybe try the crib thing to let your husband know you hear him. If it doesn't work, try co-sleeping as a family. If that doesn't work, then you guys think of another option.
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Old 03-24-2012, 10:56 AM   #4
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I have never bed shared and am not planning on it. None of my children even by 3 months. When dd3 is sick we try putting her in our bed and she is all wiggly and antsy. Dh would.probably love bed sharing if me or the los liked it more.
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Old 03-24-2012, 01:41 PM   #5
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All 4 of us are still sleeping in the same bed. Ds is 7 and dd is 3. It works for us, but dh also was afraid of squishing the kids when they were little. I put a bed rail on my side and the youngest by the rail with me next, then older when the time came, then dh. Dh could sleep with no worries.

Another option might be the crib in your room, or a mattress on the floor by your bed.
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Old 03-24-2012, 01:42 PM   #6
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Re: Do you cosleep? What does your SO think?

We bed-share (now with two kids!). . .I have always been very pro-co sleeping and DH only tolerates it b/c he knows it's important to me and b/c ds just would never sleep in his own (he's still in bed with us at 2.5). It has caused some stress between DH and I, but I feel that this is such a special and fleeting time. I want to wake up snuggling my babies! We got a King sized bed to make it more doable for all of us. We also have a arm's reach co-sleeper but my babies are way too smart for that and just want to sleep with their face on my breast.

I don't think it's necessarily easier now or later, just depends on your child's personality. Do you night nurse? will your baby take a lovely, a paci? If they are already more "independent" at night it might be easy to transition.
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Old 03-24-2012, 01:50 PM   #7
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I absolutely hate cosleeping, but DH would be fine with it. He even asked me to have DS2 nap with him yesterday because he missed him (DH works nights and DS is 2). But it is more convenient for newbies, so I've been cosleeping with DD since she was born. I got her sleeping in her crib the last two nights and brought her in bed with me when she woke up the first time. When she starts nursing for less than an hour at a time, I'll start putting her back in her crib.

ETA: This isn't because I hate cuddling my child or anything like that. I just do not sleep well with a baby attatched to me, and I wake up sore, stiff and grumpy. I don't have a problem with cosleeping in general, as long as I'm not the one doing it.
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Old 03-24-2012, 02:52 PM   #8
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Re: Do you cosleep? What does your SO think?

We bedshare. Right now we have a king and queen together. Our 2 year old and 3 month old sleep with us. We love it. The other little kids can come in and sleep as well if they want.

But....if it isnt working for one partner I would consider moving the baby or moving the husband. . Everyone needs to sleep and sleep good, so there are other options.

None of my kids have ever slept in a crib except for my son who napped in his. They all were sleeping on their own by 3 or so with the occasional climbing into bed because they woke up or a nightmare.
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Old 03-24-2012, 04:17 PM   #9
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Re: Do you cosleep? What does your SO think?

When my first three were little , my ex and I cosleep with the children. I put two queen mattresses on the floor , in the corner of the room. All the kids will be on the wall side and then me and then their father. We slept that way until one day, the boys want their own bed. I set up two toddler beds in the same room with me. They started sleep in their beds until they was 9 or 10 years old, they moved to their rooms (I decorated their room with their favorite characters to attract them and it work).
Their father was scare to sleep with them but the prearrangement, he didn't have any problem sleep through the night.
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Old 03-24-2012, 04:49 PM   #10
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Re: Do you cosleep? What does your SO think?

We bedshare. (We have a king bed, which we bought when we decided we would continue bedsharing when DD was about 3 months. Mattress is currently on the floor because she moves around so much in her sleep.) DD is 11 months old. DH loves it...he feels like it's extra time for him to bond with her. We have no plans of moving her anytime soon. He used to be afraid of squishing her, so when she was tiny I slept in the middle and our bed was shoved against the wall. Now he isn't worried about it and he always wakes up if she rolls into him or something.

For us, the crib isn't an option. If DD liked sleeping in there, then we would absolutely move her there. But she has absolutely hated it the handful of times we have tried, and I have no interest in sleep training or trying to get her used to sleeping on her own when she's clearly not interested. If we ran out of room or something, DH would move to the guest bed without question. We've talked about this before and we both agree that bedsharing is very important for our family.
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