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Old 03-24-2012, 01:11 PM   #1
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Upset.

So, I've had the same OB for many years, and they've been great. There are four female Doctors and they're all friendly, great listeners and I've had nothing but great care throughout my pregnancies. They kindly sit and oblige when I bring up any crunchy craziness such as cloth diapering, not vaccinating or circ'ing, etc. (joke!)

I've had no qualms about seeing each of them in preparation for my birth, which is the hospitals policy. Here lies my problem. They've just brought on a male OB and have asked me to start seeing him as well.

I will not do that.

On a strictly moral and personal level, I DO NOT believe it's OK for me to see a male OB, especially for any visits requiring me to undress and especially not for my child's birth. I have always been a strict Christian and it's my belief that it's wrong for any man other than my dh to see me naked. I've conveyed this problem to them, and it seems to be quite an issue for all involved. Now that he's a Dr. in the practice, he may be on call for my birth, which is out of my control and his.

I hate having to consider switching now, but I'm not sure what else to do.

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Old 03-24-2012, 01:14 PM   #2
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Re: Upset.

I am sorry they aren't able to accommodate your comfort level and beliefs
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Old 03-24-2012, 02:35 PM   #3
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Re: Upset.

Thanks mama.
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Old 03-24-2012, 02:42 PM   #4
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Im sorry about this for you. My ob is also a man. He is the only ob im a 50 mile radius that accepts our insurance. I am considered high risk so i cannot use the birthing center. I am also Christian however i feel because he is a Dr there is nothing immoral on my part or his. My dh also attends every drs visit and will be in the delivery room.

However i do understand my beliefs are probably much different than yours. So im sorry this will be something you will have to wrestle with.
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Old 03-24-2012, 02:53 PM   #5
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I understand your feelings and don't see male doctors for the same reason. I can't believe the female OBs won't see or at least respect your side on this. I would personally look into switching of they weren't willing to work with you on it.
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Old 03-24-2012, 03:10 PM   #6
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Re: Upset.

mama. It sounds like you have to decide what's more important - your beliefs, or your love for this OB practice. If I were in this situation, I would switch practices. Even if they allow you not to see the male OB, there's still a chance he would be on-call when you go into labor.
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Old 03-24-2012, 03:20 PM   #7
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Re: Upset.

Sorry mama! I go to an all female OB office as well. I chose them for this reason and love every single one of them. I just couldn't bring myself to see a male OB...but that's just me! Hope they can figure something out to make you comfortable so you don't have to switch. If they can't/won't, I would switch offices
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Old 03-24-2012, 03:51 PM   #8
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Re: Upset.

I have a male ob as well and this probably sounds strange, but I don't think of him as a "man" when I'm seeing him for my appointments and births. (to make it even stranger, he's actually a very attractive man). He's extremely professional. I used to see a female ob/gyn and really disliked her, but that's another story. She actually made me 10 times more uncomfortable then my current ob ever did. Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that I am a Christian as well and have the same beliefs, but when it comes to medical care, it's just a whole different situation and vibe. I'm certain that my dr. is not getting any kind of sexual enjoyment out of my appointments or delivering my children. It's a small practice, he's the only ob, and his wife is the office manager. In your situation, I agree with the pp that said that even if they would agree to only seeing the female ob's for your pregnancy, there is still the chance that he will be the one who delivers you. Unfortunately, changing practices will probably be your only solution. Or, maybe see him for an appointment where there won't be any undressing other than your belly to check the heartbeat and see how you feel with him before making a decision? Best of luck mama!
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Old 03-24-2012, 04:02 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by austinandashlynsmommy
I have a male ob as well and this probably sounds strange, but I don't think of him as a "man" when I'm seeing him for my appointments and births. (to make it even stranger, he's actually a very attractive man). He's extremely professional. I used to see a female ob/gyn and really disliked her, but that's another story. She actually made me 10 times more uncomfortable then my current ob ever did. Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that I am a Christian as well and have the same beliefs, but when it comes to medical care, it's just a whole different situation and vibe. I'm certain that my dr. is not getting any kind of sexual enjoyment out of my appointments or delivering my children. It's a small practice, he's the only ob, and his wife is the office manager. In your situation, I agree with the pp that said that even if they would agree to only seeing the female ob's for your pregnancy, there is still the chance that he will be the one who delivers you. Unfortunately, changing practices will probably be your only solution. Or, maybe see him for an appointment where there won't be any undressing other than your belly to check the heartbeat and see how you feel with him before making a decision? Best of luck mama!
I agree with lots of this. My OB (well actually he is a family practitioner) is a male, and I absolutely love him (as a doctor, that is all!). I would be crushed if I had to find a new doc. Also a Christian and like quoted pp said, for me it's not some other man seeing me naked, it's just my doctor. I actually prefer him to my former female doc. Maybe give him a chance and if it still feels wrong, go elsewhere? Sorry you have to make this decision.
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Old 03-24-2012, 07:24 PM   #10
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Re: Upset.

It doesn't matter, he is a man seeing me naked, period. That is meant for my DH only.

I'm so irritated about this mess. In truth, I wanted to go to the birth center anyway, so maybe I'll just make an appointment there, since I know they're all women. I don't believe in using drugs anyway, so maybe this was supposed to happen and is my path to lead me to the BC. We'll see.

Thanks for making me think, ladies. I appreciate it.
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