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Old 03-24-2012, 08:29 PM   #21
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Re: Upset.

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Originally Posted by MuffinMania View Post
Absolutely! My body. My birth. My way.
That is your right, no flames from me. I was just curious.

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Old 03-24-2012, 09:05 PM   #22
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Re: Upset.

Okay I have a question that may seem silly. I know you can refuse nurses and the like, but what about the on-call doctor? Say for some reason your normal (female) doctor can't deliver you and the on-call doctor is a male in this scenario. Can you refuse this doctor?

If this is possible and your OBs will let you skip the new male OB I'd stick with your practice. Otherwise your beliefs are far more important than this group of doctors, at least that's the vibe I get from your posts. And you have every right to feel that way! Good luck mama, I hope you can work something out.
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Old 03-24-2012, 09:07 PM   #23
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Re: Upset.

I would switch, too. I am super uncomfortable with a male OB or a male OB nurse. With both of my kids, I asked that I not be assigned a male nurse. With my first birth, my family practice delivered and I knew I would only get her, period. With my second, I chose a female only practice and when they told me their emergency back up if one of the six of them couldn't get there was a male, I politely asked if there was anything we could do. They just assured me that it was improbable we would need to use him, so I prayed and prayed I wouldn't have him. I didn't. Then, we I went into labor, I had a male anesthetist, which was ok, because he just saw my back. Ummm, then DS has meconium and well, this male nurse had to be in the room to suction baby. At that point, it became less about my comfort and more about the safety of my baby, but that was the ONLY time I allowed a male in the room, other than DH.
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Old 03-24-2012, 09:28 PM   #24
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I have a male OB & i would not go anywhere ealse I live him!! He is great with answering all of my questions! I fo not see any problem with haveing a male Ob like the OP said it is bot like they are getting anything sexual from it.
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Old 03-24-2012, 09:33 PM   #25
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I know this is going to sound weird, but male OB or L&D nurses had never crossed my mind! I have a BIL and a male cousin who are both nurses, too (ER, though).

I've had a male GYN my whole life and love him to pieces. He delivered me when I was born. I was never the slightest bit uncomfortable because he's a guy.

For some reason, though, a male nurse totally icks me out, and I don't know why!
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Old 03-24-2012, 09:43 PM   #26
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Re: Upset.

To OP. While I'll admit I don't personally understand your reasoning, it ultimately doesn't matter. As you said, it's your birth, you choice. That applies to a huge number of factors including who is in attendance. No one's feelings matter but yours.

That being said, I think you are going to be far better off with a birth center where this type of request will be simple to honor. Assuming you can find another practice where you can be guaranteed a female OB you can of course demand another nurse, no male interns present, etc. in a hospital. But depending on the hospital, who's on staff that day, etc. it may end up being something of a fight and that's not fair to you or your DH (assuming he'll be acting as a buffer for you while you are in labor). You deserve a peaceful labor. I know for me, I have very clear preferences for labor and delivery that I know would be very difficult to convince a hospital to honor so I birth at home with a midwife I have carefully chosen. It's just easier. I know if I went to a hospital it would be one fight after another and I'm not up for that.

I do think it's really disappointing your current provider group won't work with you. There are several reasons I can think of that someone would purposefully choose an all female provider group (religious preferences, sexual assault history, etc.). It's not like you are new to their care and making this request. You chose their group a long time ago because this was important to you. It's sad that they can't figure something out and that says a lot about them (none of it good!).
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Old 03-25-2012, 07:05 AM   #27
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Re: Upset.

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Originally Posted by Teahya&nikolais_mommy View Post
I have a male OB & i would not go anywhere ealse I live him!! He is great with answering all of my questions! I fo not see any problem with haveing a male Ob like the OP said it is bot like they are getting anything sexual from it.
What?
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:00 AM   #28
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I totally agree you need to be where you are comfortable and feel in control of your birthing and support process and I hope it all works out for you.

But, (lol) just to play devil's advocate a bit... How do you know your female docs and nurses are all heterosexual? Would their sexual orientation affect you the same way as having a male dr would?

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Old 03-25-2012, 08:04 AM   #29
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Re: Upset.

No, that would make no difference. My reasoning has nothing to do with that.
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:30 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueswirl
I totally agree you need to be where you are comfortable and feel in control of your birthing and support process and I hope it all works out for you.

But, (lol) just to play devil's advocate a bit... How do you know your female docs and nurses are all heterosexual? Would their sexual orientation affect you the same way as having a male dr would?

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That's a good point, it wouldn't bother me either. I could care less about sexual preference, I just want my husband to be the only man. The OP has religious reasons, I just prefer the female vibe.

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